Her words make me laugh, prompting me to lean up off the counter to pull her into a hug. “Wait—who said my mood has anything to do with Eric?” I move away from her again, holding onto her upper arms. She's taller than me in her Louboutin heels, so I have to look up slightly to catch the knowing twinkle in her eyes.
“You two are dating, right? Usually when one or both partners in a relationship are all spacey or grumpy like this, it means the one of them has fucked up. Is it you? Do you need an alibi? I’m a great actress.”
She is too. I've seen her in action on many occasions when she has had plaintiffs arrive at the office demanding to speak to the defense on their case. The fact she is willing to not only ruin Eric's lunch for the rest of the week but is also happy to provide an alibi with no questions asked just makes me pull her back in for another hug.
“I love you, woman,” I mutter against her neck.
It takes her a while, but she finally relents and hugs me back. Although it is kind of strained. She is not the hugging type. With a few pats to my back, she pulls away and swirls her hand to tell me to hurry up and get on with it. I kinda wanna play dumb until she starts tapping her foot just to be annoying. How dare she be so fucking observant. I myself only realised a few days ago that Eric and I have technically been dating, and in secret, no less. So how the fuck does she already know? It’s almost like she can read my mind as she smiles at me and pats me somewhat patronizingly on the shoulder.
“My sweet summer child, everybody knows you two are head over heels in love. Well, everybody but you two.”
She has this tone like she's telling a child Santa Claus isn't real. I’m left stunned with my jaw hanging loose as I watch her doctor our coffees, then physically turn my body and guide me back to the table.
“Okay, first off, pedal it all the way back. Love? Nobody is talking about the L-word. You take that back immediately, you vile woman. How dare you use such language!” My voice is getting higher and higher, which only makes her laugh harder.
“You are the worst liar I have ever met. You might want to tell your voice and your face that you don’t love that man, because they are telling me and everyone around you a different story, my friend.”
“Pfft,” I huff, then add another for emphasis. “PFFT!” Obviously, if I huff louder it will get my point across.
Reaching over the table to place her hand on mine, her smile softens a little. “I’m sorry, Jordy. I don’t mean to make you upset. The way he looks at you? Fuck, I wish a man would look at me like that. There is no way he isn’t in love with you.”
There is that damn word again. I can feel my heart starting to palpate in my chest. Unfortunately, it’s not because she is saying something that could never happen—I think she might be right. Holy fuck. I don’t know how to love somebody or evenbe lovedby somebody. Eric deserves more than me just fumbling my way through my first real relationship. Jesus, talk about pressure.
It takes monumental effort to lift my head up to look her in the eye. “Well, if he is, he’s going to be sorely disappointed. I can be exceptionally needy. I spend at least an hour getting ready in the mornings and I can be vicious when I’m hangry, so it sucks to be Eric.”
I shrug and stand up, only to turn around and see Eric leaning against the doorframe having heard everything I just said. He says nothing, but there’s a playful smirk on his face as he crosses his arms and takes me in. My gaze darts from his eyes to his lips and those dimples I love, all the way down to his crisp white shirt. It’s fastidiously tucked into tailored dark gray suit pants, and he’s topped off his polished lawyer look with a pale gray tie. I get stuck for a moment on his tattooed forearms; and flashes of him pinning me to the door and kissing the everloving fuck out of me this morning distract me long enough for him to take a step closer.
“You also snore, but that's neither here nor there,” he says. “How about we take the afternoon off and get this thing all cleared up so we have half a chance of concentrating on work tomorrow?” He acknowledges Maddie with a tilt of his head, then turns on his heel and walks out.
Yet again, I'm speechless. What the fuck is happening to me? I am never stunned this easily, yet today it feels like my tongue is too big for my mouth and I can’t get a fucking word out when I need to.
I feel a playful push against my ass, then a slap. “Go!” Maddie laughs, already getting up to clear our coffee mugs away.
I watch her for a second before glancing back at the doorway. Eric is still standing there, one eyebrow raised in question.
What, Dimples? Think I'm gonna turn down a chance to take the afternoon off? As if!
Walking out of the break room, I step up into his space. “I donotsnore.”
I can hear his laugh behind me as I head toward the bank of elevators.
CHAPTER 16
Jordan
My heart is still pounding a hundred miles a minute in my chest as we make our way to Eric’s car. Sliding in, I take a deep breath to try and blow away the nervous energy coursing through me. The drive is quiet, but not uncomfortable. Eric is as unflappable as always, focused on the road ahead of him and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the song playing on the radio. I don’t feel a single anxious vibe from him and somehow that relaxes me. Obviously he has no concerns about the curveball that has hit us square in the face.
I, on the other hand, am freaking the fuck out. Like a duck. On the surface I'm all cool and collected, but underneath I’m thrashing around—running back and forth screaming while on fire and being chased by man-eating dogs. With foam dripping from their jaws. Dramatic? Maybe a little, but this is the first time I’ve caught feelings for a guy even though I tried very fucking hard not to—and he’s myboss. I think this situation warrants dramatics.
My eyes drop to Eric's hand laying heavy on my thigh. He hasn’t spoken yet, either; likely giving me time to process this morning before we talk. His hand, though, keeps us connected without words. Like he can tell there is a tornado of emotions in my head right now and his hand is there to keep me grounded. My tongue feels glued to the roof of my mouth as I move between staring at his hand and watching what’s happening out the window. People casually strolling along the sidewalks. Others rushing around, just like any other day. Is it bad that I kind of want the whole world to just stop and let me off this ride for a minute? Give me a chance to realign my chakras or some shit?
Swallowing hard against the dryness in my throat, I try to think about this as part of my job. A casefile. I need to build it step by step. What is the crime here, anyway? Am I bringing charges on Eric or myself? We had an agreement, and at some point we both set that agreement on fire. So I guess we are both looking at time. Will that time be spent together in… dare I say it, domestic bliss? Or will that time be spent enduring a boner at work because my boss is hot and no longer fucking me? Neither of those sound appealing if I'm being honest. Why can’t shit just stay the same? Oh, yeah. Thats right, I had to go and catch fucking feelings. Feelings I have no idea what to do with. I suck at relationships, and not in the fun way. I do not want to jump into this and have Eric end up hating me.
How am I supposed to express my thoughts to Eric when I don’t even understand my own head right now? I have feelings for him, I want to kiss him and hold him, but at the same time the idea of being responsible for another person’s happiness scares the everloving fuck out of me.
The sudden silence in the car brings me out of my internal panic. Looking around, I see we are parked in front of my building. Eric's body turns in the driver's seat to face me. His hand moves up to take hold of mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“We don’t have to do this right now if you’re not ready. I understand this is coming out of nowhere for you.” His tone is so soft, like he's dealing with a frightened animal.
