It's been nearly two years since Ryan and I started dating one year since he moved in with me, and I don't need any more time to know if this guy isitfor me. I think I knew from the moment he serenaded me with a Taylor Swift song.
Ryan has been just as busy as I have for the last few months, working non-stop on his art show illustrations. Although he wouldn't let me see the pieces until they were finished, I have no doubt that they are amazing, and I'm hoping there are plenty of pictures I can check out over brunch.
I managed a peek at his concept designs when he started working on them, and I was sure to always sneak into the spare bedroom upstairs that we transformed into Ryan's studio. I love looking at his artwork, but I loved watching him draw more.
The concentration lines on his face or how he would stick the tip of his tongue out of his mouth as he sat back to analyze his progress somehow made him look hotter than he always was.
I could tell this project was important to him even though I had to convince him to do it in the first place. When he researched the shelter and how the event proceeds would help those kids, he got invested immediately. His fears of not being a good enough artist to sell drawings long forgotten. He wanted to do well for those kids.
For hours, he sat, trying to come up with something he could showcase that wasn't just tattoo art, and then it hit me. Being the massive comic book fan he is, it was obvious that his submission for the show should be his version of well-known superheroes on the rainbow spectrum.
The kids would love it. They would probably love his secret names for them, too, but given that many of them aren't yet eighteen, those names will stay between us. Snagneto and Professor seX pulling a wheelie was by far my favorite idea. I really wanted to see how that one turned out.
Maybe I can ask him to paint them on the walls of the new house. A laugh bursts from my lips at the thought of my parents visiting and seeing that.
Coming home when he was asleep and getting up before he was awake sucked, or the nights I couldn't keep my eyes open enough to drive home at all. I've pulled way too many all-nighters at the office recently, sleeping on the not-so-comfortable couch in my office for a few hours. Thankfully, I keep a wardrobe change, and they have a gym in the basement equipped with shower facilities.
When I finally get home, practically skidding to a stop in the driveway, I jog up the steps and head inside. I expected Ryan to be in bed, asleep, so I'm surprised to find him in the living room in his sweatpants and shirt, his long dark hair pulled up off his face in a messy bun, his beautifully tattooed arms resting on the arms of the black leather recliner like he hasn't got a care in the world. Fuck, he's beautiful.
It takes me far too long to register the beer bottle in his hand as I watch him raise it to his lips and take a long pull. My eyebrow cocks up in question.
"Hair of the dog, or are you still celebrating? Because celebrating, I came to do, preferably naked. I have amazing news, sweetheart." I put on my best seductive smile as I undo the knot in my tie, only to stop when I realize he hasn't even looked my way since I came in the door.
"Sweetheart? Is everything okay?" I ask cautiously as I take a few steps closer to him, my hand reaching out to touch his, but he pulls it back, his head whipping around to finally look at me, and my breath catches in my throat. I've never seen him look at me this way, so weary.
"Jesus, sweetheart, what's wrong?" I ask, moving faster now to kneel at his side since he's not in any state to stand up.
"Tell me Ry? I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened?" I urge as I rest my hand on his knee to offer some kind of comfort.
I watch his eyes drift to my hand, then away again before he takes another long pull from his beer. My brows furrow. It's eleven A.M, Ryan is not a day drinker. Something terrible is happening.
"Where were you last night?" he asks, but before I can answer, he cuts me off. "You know what, save it. I've heard it all, and I don't even care at this point. I'm just," he pauses, looking me in the eyes with his empty ones. "I'm just tired of this."
“Tired of what? What are you saying, Ry? What the hell is happening right now?” My heart is pounding out of my chest. What is he saying? What the hell have I done?
“I’m gonna go stay with Nyx.” he states firmly, resided, without any sign of emotion.
"What? No. That's ridiculous. I was going to take you out for brunch. I wanna hear about the show." I stand up again, throwing out my arms because what the fuck is going on right now?
The laugh that erupts from Ryan is not humorous in the slightest. "Too little too late, Drew. I'm not a toy for you to pick up and play with whenever you've got time!" He yells, shaking his head before looking away like he's battling a decision in his head, and I can feel my heart pounding hard in my chest because I'm pretty sure I know what he's trying to decide.
"I know I've been busy, Sweetheart, but it's done. I got the promotion. I can be home so much more now, I swear," my tone is pleading, and I'm seconds away from dropping to my knees, and begging him not to leave me.
This time, he doesn't even look at me or acknowledge anything I've said as he gets out of the chair, kicking the reclined end closed before walking across the room to a suitcase waiting in the hall. I didn't see it when I came in. I'd been so excited to get to my man that I completely missed it.
Apparently, I've been missing a lot of things recently, given how my boyfriend is currently grabbing the handle of his wheeled suitcase and heading to the front door.
I stand there staring blankly at him, like I'm having some kind of out-of-body experience or watching a movie reel of somebody else's life imploding right in front of their face.
“It’s over Drew, I’m done.”
His words echo in my head on repeat as I watch him walk out the door.
How could things go so wrong so quickly?
I can't move, I can’t fucking breath as he walks out the door and out of my life.
What the fuck just happened?
