Page 52 of Midlife in Hell


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“Nero and I started looking into it when Kujo started talking in his sleep for when he was ready to admit he was a seer. Lilith went into tons of detail about all her creations, but she was really tight lipped about seers. Any time someone comes up with a theory, a seer does something and disproves it. Even now, we don’t really know shit about where their visions come from and what they are actually capable of,” Celix said.

“Could we find Lilith and ask her? Because I kinda want to meet her, anyway.”

“She’s definitely a legend, but she’s only found when she wants to be. The angels don’t like her much, either, on account of the whole ‘fuck the patriarchy and then fucking off to Hell to make demons’ thing.”

Before we could even continue, someone ran in.

“Ma’am, the house is under attack.”

Oh, fuck no. I had no magic and my back hurt like fuck, but I wasnotsitting this out.

Iwas hoping Nero would snatch Sydney and keep her inside, but she was already up and marching towards the door. Without an ounce of magic in her veins and wings that could come out at any minute. Damn it. We didn’t even know who was outside.

The princes had to be making their move because demons just weren’t dumb enough to attack another prince on their behalf. And I didn’t think the other princes were dumb enough to attack Satan’s house, but I guess everyone was feeling stupid today.

“Oh, fuck no,” Wrathhog swore, firing off a text and portalling outside.

She was going to hate me, but I hoped she got it.

“Keep her safe,” I growled at Nero and portalled out with Wrathhog.

I should have asked Nero to knock Kujo out, especially when I got outside and saw an army of Furies with his mother at the helm. What the fuck were they doing? Furies’ only loyalty were to other furies. They were publicly Team Satan, but their loyalty to anyone else was mercurial. It depended on who they thought was going to win at any time.

They wouldn’t come at a fallen directly because they’d just be cannon-fodder, even if they were upper demons. The Furies would do just about anything in the shadows for someone they thought could elevate the Furies even further, but they’d never do anything that could come back and bite them on the off chance it didn’t turn out how they thought.

So, why the fuck were they here? And why hadn’t I asked Nero to knock Kujo out?

Kujo took one look at his mother and all the Furies she brought. His wings snapped out, and he snarled. Kujo hated the Furies with the passion of a thousand suns. Like, way more than he hated everyone else. And he hated his mother more than anyone in Hell. I snapped my arm across his chest when he lunged because he would have tried to take them all on and gotten himself killed.

We had to play this really carefully because Furies could fuck up your mind. We all knew how to throw up mental shields against Furies, but Sydney didn’t. And this many Furies could tear through our mental shields with enough pressure. Nero could have knocked them out with just a thought, but the Furieswouldhave pressed charges and Satan might not have been able to save him.

“Do you know what you are doing, Salvon?” Wrathhog said. “You wouldn’t be able to come back from this.”

“I’m just here to fetch my property. I’m not attacking a Prince of Hell or his child,” Kujo’s mom said innocently.

“I quite assure you that there is nothing of yours here.”

“She means me,” Kujo snarled. “This is how they take me off the board.”

Clever. It was suicide to attack Sydney and Kujo while Satan was looking after them and Abaddon was on their side and could choose to come off the bench. We couldn’t find Lucifer without Kujo and right now, Sydney wasn’t a threat. Even once she got her wings and magic, most of Hell didn’t know her.

Except children weren’t property, so Salvon couldn’t force Kujo to leave with her unless she attacked. She had the numbers, but we had Wrathhog and Nero. If Satan showed up and gave him permission in front of the Furies, he’d knock them all out.

“A little birdie told me that my half-breed runt finally made himself useful and is turning into a seer. He owes me, so I’ll be taking him now.”

Salvon always called Kujo a half-breed runt instead of his name. I always thought it chapped her asshole that Kujo was much bigger than her purebred sons. Kujo wasn’t the only one baring his teeth. Sydney didn’t even like Kujo as far as I knew and she looked ready to throw down with Salvon rather than let her take him.

Where the actual fuck was Satan?

“I owe you shit. I never asked to be born, and you were a shit mother when you were forced to take me in. You kicked me out as soon as you didn’t have to care for me anymore.”

“I can just take you, runt.”

“No, actually you can’t,” Wrathhog said. “If you attack one of my father’s guests, you might as well be attacking him. You will face his wrath.”

Satan was the literal Prince of Wrath. No one was that stupid. Salvon was arrogant, so that probably made her stupid. I didn’tknow if she was fully entrenched in this plot and knew exactly why she’d been pointed in the direction of her son or if she was just greedy enough to start a fight she probably couldn’t finish because she wanted a seer in the family.

“Who told you he was a seer?” Sydney demanded.