“Fair enough.”
“I signed all the books that were preordered already so that’s done and sorted, but we have a million bags to make for the schools and then I have different swag for Saturday.”
“Swag?”
“Giveaway stuff like pencils, bookmarks, stickers, bracelets—anything, really.”
“Are you ready to go?”
“I just need to grab my list upstairs; I’ll be right back.”
She hurries up the stairs and I pull my phone back out and type out a text.
TOM: I’m charging you double for today
COLT: Shit—what happened? Is she okay?
TOM: She’s mad at you so I’m getting a crash course in swag items for kids’ events
TOM: This is not in my job description
COLT: Think of it like bonding
“Okay, now I’m ready,”Kat says with a smile as she tucks several reusable bags into the massive purse slung over her shoulder.
My phone vibrates in my hand but it’s not Colt. It’s Royce.
ROYCE: Why did Colt Harrington just send $500 to our cash app with coffee and pizza emoji?
TOM: Because we’re going to need it and he fucking owes me
ROYCE: Cool – I just got to the apartment, sending you an update
TOM: It’ll have to wait until we’re back from running errands
ROYCE: Have you ever run an errand?
TOM: You’re fired
ROYCE: Nice try
ROYCE: Don’t forget the pizza
Fuck.
14
KAT
“You don’t have to carry that,” I tell Tom as we walk up and down the aisles of the craft store, his large hand gripping the shopping basket as we go.
“Get what you need,” he replies, looking at the mess of little toys, stickers, and fun little extras that I like having on hand plus the entire rack of clear plastic bags with the little ties because I was running low.
“Thank you,” I start, letting my shoulders drop a little as we head back toward the front of the store. “I don’t usually get to do this with anyone else,” I admit, running my hand over the petals of a fabric flower.
“I’m not sure I’m your ideal company.” His statement pulls a small laugh from me, because he’s wrong.Anycompany is ideal when you don’t have any to begin with.
I connect with so many people every single day, but I’ve never felt more alone in my life. I don’t have a group of girlfriends, no one that I can completely be myself around at least. Bailey comes to visit, or I fly down to see her a couple of times a year, but that’s hardly enough to sustain the kind of human connection I crave.
