Funny that he would even notice such a thing. For years, he had lived in a state of isolation so that a dead-quiet castle should have been a most natural thing. But it had felt different… lonelier and more harrowing because of it. Sitting in his office,he listened for the sound of Olivia’s laughter, realizing that he had not heard it all day.
Ronan thought to ignore the silence.
He did not want to care or even consider its meaning.
But as he tried to focus on his work, he listened, the silence deafening so that soon he found himself walking through the halls as he searched for his wife and her daughter.
That was when he came upon Thalia’s bedroom to find it empty. The room sat in total darkness, but he spied the letter left on her desk. Even before reading it, he had known its contents, which saw him stagger across the room, arm shaking as he snatched it and read… at which point he felt what must have been a dagger plunging into his chest.
Ronan stumbled back and turned away.
His body was shaking, but he forced himself to escape the room so he could return to his work. He was not surprised to find the letter, nor was he surprised at the decision that Thalia had made. But none of that made it any easier to reckon with.
Why do I even care—I do not care! She lied to me. All this time, everything she ever said and did, were nothing more than lies used to trick and trap me. She did not care for me. She did not even like me. She wanted something from me, and had I not found out, likely, she would never have said a thing.
He stumbled into his office, making for his desk. There, he fell into his seat and snatched the quill, determined to get back to work. This was a good thing, he told himself. This was exactly what he should have wanted. There was no way they could have spent the rest of their lives avoiding each other; it was best that she was gone from his life so he would never have to think about her again.
Yes… Ronan forced that thought to the fore of his conscience. He held onto it as if it was life itself. This marriage had never been real, it was never meant to work, and now that Thalia had elected to leave him, he could get back to living how he wanted. Alone.
If only it was that easy.
Ronan got no work done that evening. He tried. He was desperate to pretend that things were normal. But it was the silence of the castle that haunted him, the very real fact that he missed the sounds of life which for a short time had come to feel natural and right.
Was he upset over what Thalia had done? Of course he was. Was he furious that she had lied to him? That went without saying. But he understood too why she had done it, and despite everything… the anger he wanted to feel at her betrayal was nowhere near as prevalent as it should have been.
But what could he do?
Were Ronan a different type of person, he might have gone after Thalia. He thought of the letter, her kind words, and how earnestshe had been in thanking him. And her final words ‘Thank you for saving me,’ echoed in his subconscious like a deathly whisper that refused to leave him.
It would get better, Ronan knew.
In time, he would forget about Thalia and Olivia and their marriage.
One day, he would look back on all of this and be glad that things had turned out how they did.
But how long would that take? And most of all, did he even want that? Did he want to forget? Did he want things to go back to the way they were?
A creak from the doorway and his head snapped up, half expecting to see Olivia standing there with a big smile on her face. There was nothing, of course, and Ronan’s heart crashed through his chest.
He was going to miss that little girl. He was going to miss Thalia. He was going to miss what he very nearly had, and that was the hardest thing of all to admit to himself.
Ronan had failed. But then again, what else could be expected of one such as him?
The days following Thalia’s departure were some of the hardest of Ronan’s recent memory.
For a man who had lived alone for most of his life, he struggled to remember how he passed the time and what he used to do with himself. He stalked the halls of his castle, often walking past Olivia and Thalia’s now empty rooms, pausing at them and looking into their depths, chest tightening and stomach twisting with guilt.
This is who I have always been. Thalia made me forget that for a time… she tricked me into forgetting. But I have not changed, I cannot change, and wishing otherwise will make no difference. It will only make things worse.
Ronan lived the way he did for a good reason, and he had forgotten that. No… he had allowed himself to forget. But as he had always known, relying on others, daring to love them, was doomed to failure and it was better to spurn it outright than take that chance.
Thalia might have claimed she saw something different in him, but she did not know the real him. She knew nothing of his past and of what he was capable. She saw him as a protector, but he was a danger to her and Olivia. She might have left for her own reasons, but safety was what she would find. Ronan had to believe that.
It was easy to tell himself one thing, harder to believe it.
Three days after Thalia had left, Ronan found himself in the music room. He was standing by the pianoforte, staring at it as if Thalia was sitting there right now, and playing for him.
A smile touched his lips as he remembered that day. He had not pressed her, but she opened to him willingly, telling him the truth behind Olivia’s birth. She trusted him. She wanted him to know, because she had seen in him someone who would understand. It was a type of trust that Ronan had never been given before… and how he had relished it.
