That did it.
The mention of Olivia and she saw a shadow pass behind his eyes. A moment of doubt. His lips tightened and his body stiffened. “I have only ever treated Olivia with respect,” he said. “As I promised that I would.”
“You have treated her like a father,” Thalia hissed. “At least you do when nobody else is watching. When it is just the two of you, you let the walls drop and you treat her better than I thought you capable of. And she loves you for it—that’s right. She loves you, Ronan. And you know what I think? I think you like it.”
Again, she looked for the reaction. Again, Ronan did all he could to keep his expression placid. But, despite the effort, she could have sworn she saw a smile tugging at the side of his lips.
“But you can’t treat her one way indoors and another in public. You can’t promise her the world and then deny it as soon as others are there to see. It confuses her. She does not understand—nor do I, for that matter! I do not know how to explain to her why you are the way you are. So, rather than wasting my time, I ask that you…” She was shaking, struggling to find the words. “I ask that you leave us alone. Better that you pretend we do not exist than give us the time of day only when it suits you.” Her lips curled into a sneer. “That, at least, I can explain.”
She shot him a final look of disparagement. A final chance for him to explain himself. Thalia had her lips curled, her eyebrow raised, antipathy in her glare.
And as for the duke? He looked away, shame, she thought, unable to meet her eyes or even try and justify himself. He stood over her. He dominated the room. But in that moment, he was small and withdrawn and powerless.
She scoffed. “That’s what I thought.” And then, she turned and walked away.
It was not the outcome that she had wanted… even if it was what she expected. A part of her had hoped he might fight her, deny what she said, even explain himself for a damn change! She wanted him to, because she did not want it to end like this.
That he was so utterly incapable of doing even that told her all she needed to know. Maybe he did care for her. Maybe it was more than that. But if he couldn’t look her in the eyes and tell her as much when she threatened to take it all away, what did it matter?
So it was that she stormed from the room…
“I’m sorry,” the duke said finally, just as she reached the door.
“What?” she spun back to find the duke still looking away, not even certain that she had heard him.
“I never meant to hurt Olivia,” the duke continued, still looking at his feet. “Just as I never meant to confuse her. You need to know…” He hesitated, and she could see how much he was struggling. “I do care for Olivia, and despite everything, I never intended to cause her harm.”
Thalia very nearly accused him of doing just that. She turned around fully, still by the doorway, watching the duke closely because she could sense that whatever this was, it was far from being over.
Slowly, he raised his head and looked at her. His eyes narrowed, his expression determined, even passionate. He fixed his eyes on her, unblinking so that even if she had wanted to, she would not be able to look away.
“But you should know, Olivia has nothing to do with how I have behaved. She is…” A sigh. “She has been caught in the middle, and for that I am sorry. I will try and do better.”
“You say you will…” Thalia took a careful step toward him. “But we have been here before, Ronan. This is not the first time you have told me you will do better. And I am just about done trusting you.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?”
She leaned back. “Get it? What am I?—”
“The reason I act as I do.” He was still looking at her intensely. His stare narrowed in on her. A fight raging behind his eyes that was as terrifying as it was hard to look away from. “The reason I am so cold to you—both here and in public. It is not because I think of you as a stranger, Thalia…” He laughed bitterly. “If only it was that simple.”
“Why? Why do you…” She knew the answer, and the way her heart started to race was proof of that. But she dared not get her hopes up. Not yet…
“I think you know.” With what looked like great effort, he took a step toward her. And then another. “Just as I think you came here for a reason. Not to berate me. Not to accuse me. You came here…” He smiled slightly. “To force my hand.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do.” Another step toward her. And as big as he was, it was like a wall moving for her so there was nowhere to go. “I tried to fight it. I tried to ignore it. Lying to myself, living in denial. Nothing has worked and every day when I wake up…” His eyes flashed with menace. “It gets harder and harder to do.”
She stayed where she was. Her body trembled under the stare in which he held her, her skin prickling. It was not a cold night by any stretch, but she began to shudder as if it was. And, all the while, her heart raced faster like it might explode.
“All my life, I have lived a certain way. Happy to be alone. Thrilled to be thought of as dangerous so that nobody would waste their time trying to get to know me. Easy to do when you care for nothing. But you, Thalia…” Be clenched his jaw and growled. “You are unlike anyone I have ever met.”
“I…” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I am?”
“People think of me as a monster.” Another step closer, now less than three feet away. “And when I am near you, I feel as if I am that. The struggle to control myself. The hunger… how much I want to sate it. I crave it, Thalia. More than I thought possible. And more than I know is right.”
“Hunger?” she stammered, catching her breath. Her eyes flicked over him, so close that she could reach out and touch him if she dared.
