“Huh…” Cassian exhaled. “Well, that was rather blunt.”
“And a lie,” Sebastian shot back. “Or Lord Westmere would say as much.”
Ronan shrugged. “He insulted my wife, and in so doing, he insulted me. I was protecting my own name. Tell me that you would not have done the same.”
Alaric chuckled. “I certainly don’t need a reason to want to punch Lord Westmere in the face.”
“No, no.” Sebastian sat forward, refusing to drop it. “Do you really mean to tell us—look at me as you do—” He fixed his gaze on Ronan. “Do you really mean to sit there and tell us that you have no feelings for your wife? None.”
“That is exactly what I am saying.”
“Nor do you intend to,” he pressed. “Remember, I saw you together, Ronan. I saw?—”
“What we wanted you to see,” he growled in warning. “That is all. The whole point of this entire Season is to rectify my image and fix my name. Thalia serves that purpose, but it is the only purpose she serves. Nothing else.”
He could tell that Sebastian did not believe him. Nor did Alaric and Cassian. But they knew better than to argue, because Ronan’s moods were a deadly thing and not worth testing.
“I suppose this is good news,” Cassian sighed. “The Wicked Dukes live on.”
“I guess so…” Sebastian fell back in his seat, watching Ronan closely, very obviously not buying a word of what he had said.
“And here I was, all ready to be happy for you too,” Alaric said, taking a sip of his ale. “It is about time you found someone able to stand you.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” Ronan said before drinking a large mouthful of ale. He sucked through his teeth and then took another. “But you each know me best, enough that you should know exactly how I feel about…” He grimaced purposefully. “Marriage, and everything that comes with it.”
“Your war against happiness,” Cassian chuckled. “Yes, we know it well.”
“Reality,” Ronan said darkly. “Nothing more, nothing less.”
It was all a lie, and his friends knew it. But not nearly as much as Ronan did.
The truth of the matter was that he was starting to develop feelings for Thalia. Slowly, she was luring him from behind the walls he’d spent a decade erecting, showing him just what it meant to have someone in his life who he might care for as they might care for him.
It felt good, better than he wanted to admit. But that was the danger, because Ronan knew what came next. And because he knew it, he refused to give in. Better to be hated now than despised later. A lonely life, and the only one he deserved.
Eighteen
For Thalia, it was a lonely few days that followed the garden party.
In many ways, they were not so different to how things had been when Thalia first moved into Westvale Estate. She and Olivia living like strangers in the castle, having one another for company, always aware that there was a third member of their household who refused to join them.
It felt different now to how it had. It felt more purposeful. More deliberate. Or maybe it was simply because for a short time there, Ronan had started to join them, leaving the shadows and stepping into the light so that they had felt almost like a family…
It has only been a few days, but it feels like more than that. And this home, my life, feels all the emptier because of it.
Thalia could not stop thinking about what had almost happened. The moment which had passed between her and Ronan. The kissthat… to say it had almost been felt far too optimistic. Was it in her own head? Had she seen something that wasn’t even there? She did not think so at the time, but as the days dragged on, she was forced to consider that she and Ronan had never been and never would be what she wanted.
And she did want it too. That was now a truth she could no longer ignore.
She was married. Olivia was safe and looked after. With that taken care of, it was time that Thalia thought ahead, what might come of her life now that she had everything. And when she did, it was Ronan who she thought of; the dim possibility that more might grow between them. If only he would let it.
How might she show him that such a thing was not to be feared? She had no idea. Worse than that, she did not know if such a thing was even possible.
So, she spent those days doing her best to ignore what had happened, sensing Ronan in the castle, just as she sensed him purposefully trying to avoid her. On the third day, it was a relief when Albert informed her that Ronan would be leaving for the afternoon. She did not ask where he was going, happy to be free from his presence because whenever he was home, she couldfeelhim there.
Early evening was approaching and with Olivia napping, Thalia found herself wandering the castle. She had nowhere to go, was not looking for anything in particular, which was why she found herself stepping into the music room on the third level.
She had not been in this room before. It was dark, musty and damp, and it felt as if nobody had entered it for years. She carried in her hand a lantern, and she held it up, spreading its dim flame across the room where it shone upon a pianoforte.
