“Again, that is admirable.” He nodded, a smile tugging at his lips which he worked hard to keep hidden. “No doubt, the last thingyou wanted was to marry someone like me. That alone…” He laughed awkwardly. “Proof again of what you are willing to do.”
She grimaced, the guilt striking her like a slap across the face.
Thalia was not stupid. She had known how little Ronan wanted this marriage. But what she hadn’t considered was what he thought about her own views. That he might even pity her for the way she was forced to marry a man like him.
Worse that I am the one who is responsible for all of it.
“It is not so bad…” She smiled and the urge to reach out and touch his arm in comfort came upon her. She did not do so, as that felt entirely too familiar. “Truly, you have done more than I could have hoped. And the fact that we hardly have to see you…” She laughed, only to see him grimace. “I am joking, Ronan. If anything, we might even like to see you more.”
He scoffed. “Doubtful.”
“Not at all,” she said, meaning it. “We are set to live together for the rest of our lives. And while I don’t expect us to ever become friendly or…” She looked away, finding her cheeks flushing at the implication. “I know what this marriage is,” she said, speaking into her chest. “And I am happy with that. But there is no need to pretend as if the other does not exist. This is a large home, I agree. But it is not so large as that.”
Ronan said nothing at first. She was not looking at him, but she could feel his eyes upon her, studying her, searching for the lie. The silence between them grew thick, and she had the urge to step back as if to shake it off. But she stayed where she was, sensing that this right here was a moment too important to run from.
“I… I am used to living on my own,” he said finally, his voice a low growl. “And some habits are hard to break.”
“I know they are.”
“But if you… if you see me in the halls, if Olivia does come and see me again. Maybe it won’t be such a bad thing if the next time, we don’t look the other way.”
It was such a small thing, but in the context of their relationship, it was huge. “I will remember that. Speaking of which, I was about to wake Olivia for breakfast. If you like…”
His eyes widened and he looked away. “I am busy.”
“Of course,” she said just as quickly. “I just thought… I thought I would ask.”
“And I appreciate it. Perhaps… perhaps next time?”
“I’ll hold you to it,” she laughed.
The laughter died slowly between them. This time, the silence which followed wasn’t nearly so awkward. Olivia looked up at Ronan, no longer feeling the need to shy away. And he looked down at her, his scowl finally gone. Their stare held, eyes locked, and something passed between them that hadn’t been there before. An understanding, maybe? Or better, an acknowledgment that this marriage, whatever it was, had room to grow.
“I—I’ll see you later,” Olivia stammered, tearing her eyes free.
“I am sure you will.”
She gave an awkward smile, cheeks flushing, and she turned and scurried down the hall. As she went, she could feel the duke watching her, and this caused her smile to grow. What felt suspiciously like excitement rippled through her body, the sense that she had just turned a corner in this marriage.
Where that might lead, she could not say. But for the first time yet, she was eager to find out.
Thirteen
Thalia couldn’t say what she expected from Ronan after their conversation in the halls. What she didn’t expect was for him to transform suddenly into a different person, one who wished to get to know them better and spend his free time with them as a husband might. That simply wasn’t him.
She supposed then that what came to pass was exactly what she should have predicted would happen. That being, slow but important steps in what looked to be the right direction.
“I thought you said he would be here?” Olivia asked that evening as the two sat down for supper. She scrunched her face and looked about the breakfast room. “Where is he?”
“I said he might be,” Thalia corrected her.
She cursed herself silently for getting ahead of herself and telling Olivia that the duke might join them—done for the right reasons,however. She felt that she needed to prepare her daughter for such circumstances, not wanting Olivia to do or say something that might make Ronan feel uncomfortable.
But she should have known he was unlikely to join them so soon. If ever. Likely, the most she could hope for was the odd conversation in the halls, perhaps even a smile or two when they passed by. Not a lot, but considering where they had come from, it was huge.
“Does he not like us?” Olivia pouted. “You said?—”
“I said that he likes his own company and how he behaves has nothing to do with us,” she hurried to explain. “In fact, I would go so far as to say that His Grace likes us more than most other people.”And if that isn’t damning with faint praise, then I don’t know what is.
