Page 148 of How To Be Nowhere


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Cori raises an eyebrow, her voice tilting upward in amusement. “How can you tell? The shape?”

Elena winks, a slow, knowing crinkle of her eye. “I know. He is sitting low, and he is a big boy. A big, healthy baby. He will have his father’s shoulders.”

Tasia sighs with dreamy satisfaction. “I love a chunky baby. All the rolls! Like a littlebougatsa. More to squeeze.”

Violetta nods in agreement. “Like bread dough.”

“There is no way,” Marcus interjects. He crosses his arms, looking down at Cori’s bump like he’s defending its honor. “First of all, she is definitely a girl. And myniecedoes not have ‘man shoulders.’ She’s going to be delicate. Like a fairy.”

I poke him in the ribs, grinning. “I told you.”

“How do we know she’s right, anyway?” Marcus says, jabbing a thumb in Elena’s direction. Then he adds, “No offense, ma’am.”

Despina lets out a sharp bark of a laugh, her gold bracelets clinking as she waves her cigarette. “Panagia mou, this woman was a midwife in the village for thirty years. She has caught half the babies in Crete! She is never wrong about gender. Never.”

Elena cackles, a low, smoke-roughened sound. “Besides, I have eleven children myself. You learn a thing or two.”

The three of us—Cori, Marcus, and I—freeze in perfect, synchronized shock.

“Eleven?” Cori squeaks, her hand flying to her mouth.

“Eleven?” Marcus echoes, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. “Like, one-one? Is there a wing of a hospital named after you?”

Elena nods proudly, taking a sip of her wine. “Two sets of twins. The rest, single. Very efficient.”

“Jesus,” Marcus mutters, then quickly adds, “No offense. Again.”

Elena just laughs harder, patting his cheek. “None taken,agori mou.”

She steps closer to Cori again and presses her hands gently on the bump, tilting her head like she’s listening to something. “Aside from the shoulders—which are very broad, this baby will be strong like ox—the way he sits. Low. Heavy. Boys always sit low. Girls sit high, light, like little birds. This one?” She pats Cori’s stomach. “He is no bird. He is bull.”

I look at Marcus, raising my eyebrows. “You’re going to owe me fifty dollars, Marcus. Start saving your pennies now.”

“We don’t know that yet!” he insists, though he looks a little less sure of himself.

Elena takes one last, dramatic drag of her cigarette before turning to walk back toward the kitchen. Over her shoulder, she winks at him. “You are going to owe her the money,pedi mou. Just buy the blue blanket now and save the time. I am always right.”

Marcus mumbles something under his breath as Leo finally disentangles himself from a conversation about tax law with one of his uncles. He slides up beside me, his hand settling comfortably on the small of my back.

“I see you’ve met the Oracle,” Leo says, his eyes dancing with amusement. He turns to my roommates, extending a hand. “You must be Marcus and Cori. I’ve heard a lot about you—mostly that you’re the reason Annie hasn’t starved to death in that apartment. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Cori smiles, leaning into the warmth of the room. “The pleasure is ours. Though I think I’ve been predicted to give birth to a linebacker, so I might need a minute to process my new reality.”

Leo’s grinning now, fully relaxed. “Annie said you’re an artist?”

“Yeah. Freelance stuff mostly. But I bartend, which pays the bills.” Marcus gestures toward Cori. “And this one’s about to be a mom and go back to school, so she’s officially the overachiever of the apartment.”

Cori rolls her eyes. “I’m going to community college, Marcus. Let’s not oversell it.”

“It still counts.”

Leo turns to Cori. “What are you studying?”

“Childhood education. I want to be an elementary school teacher.” She rests a hand on her bump. “Figured I should probably learn how to actually teach kids if I’m going to have one.”

“That’s great,” Leo says, and he sounds genuine. “My sister Maria actually taught preschool for a few years before she started working at the restaurant full-time. She loved it.”

“Really?” Cori lights up. “I’d love to talk to her about it.”