I’m writing the class list down as quickly as possible, tallying the ever-growing workload coming my way. Yes, I speak French, but I don’t use it very often so I’m a bit rusty.
“Ok, six classes for you, two for Dr. Miller, and three for Dr. Belanger — so eleven total.”
“Yes, but you’re only responsible for teaching the one English comp class we discussed and you’ll lecture on an as-needed basis for my other five. You won’t have to sub in for Miller or Belanger. Online students are a pain, but most of their questions you can pawn off on IT as they aren’t course related. Dr. Belanger is pretty hands-on with his students, so you shouldn’t have to field questions from them.”
“Sounds doable.” I think. Please, God, don’t let me drown my first semester here!
She looks at me with confidence in her eyes. “I know it’s a lot but we’re stretched thin this year. We were supposed to get one new professor and three new TAs, but the board thinks engineering is more important than English, so they got the padded budget this year. Amelia and I are working on a few grant proposals due this spring, so hopefully we can get more funding from those instead of fighting the board.”
I nod in understanding. “I’m vaguely aware of how university budgets work from my time in my previous program, but Dr. Ryan wasn’t much of an administrator so he didn’t handle any of the numbers. He was the consummate absent-minded professor. Super smart, very passionate about his work, not great with details outside his field of study.”
Dr. Matthews’ face lights up at the mention of Dr. Ryan. “I remember your application stating that you studied with Dr. Ryan for a few years. I’ve met him a few times and I can definitely see him as a one-track mind kind of man. And you’re spot on about the passion — that man has charisma.”
I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. I don’t want to get into a conversation about Dr. Ryan. But I also don’t want to let on that I’m no longer his biggest fan. That man went from maven to moron in one conversation, and if I never see him again I’ll be perfectly happy.
“Am I assuming correctly that you becoming Sunny’s guardian had something to do with you leaving his program?”
Shit, Ireallydon’t want to talk about this. “Yes. I had a lot on my plate at that time — grieving my sister, learning to be a parent, working and studying, moving in with my parents. Working for Dr.Ryan was more than a typical full-time teaching assistant position. I worked on a lot of research projects with him and also took a full course load. I was trying to finish my master’s in two years even though it’s set up as a three-year program, so I was pretty slammed.”
“I’ve heard working with Dr. Ryan is quite the experience, to say the least.”
Ha — understatement. She hasnoidea. And that experience went far beyond what I signed up for.
“It was. And crazy competitive. The students at Grant are like sharks, always circling and looking for any opportunity to strike.”
She shrugs. “Well, when you have the celebrity status he has in our world of academia, that’s to be expected.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I say, pushing my glasses up and attempting to hide my disdain for Jonathan Ryan behind a fake as fuck smile.
“I don’t mean to pry, but given the work it takes to become Dr. Ryan’s right hand and the competitive nature of his program, why didn’t you just slow down? Why did you decide to leave the program entirely? It seems like a lot of effort to walk away from, and Dr. Ryan is so selective with his students I’m sure convincing him to let you go wasn’t easy.” Ha. Letmego? That bastard let a lot of things go — like the truth.
I let out a sharp breath and shake my head, looking down at my lap.Why can’t she stop asking questions I don’t want to answer?
I reestablish eye contact, professional smile in place, and answer her as best I can without flat out lying. “You are not the first person to ask me that question. I wish I had a cut-and-dry answer, but the truth is complicated. A lot happened around the time my sister died, both with my family and in my school life. I was overwhelmed and something had to give. I weighed all my options and Dr. Ryan was willing to work with me to slow down and hand off some of my teaching responsibilities to other students.”
I look back down at my notebook, unable to hide the pain in my eyes for much longer. I swallow. “Some unfortunate things happened during that time, and I decided it was best to leave school and focus on raising Sunny.”
Look up, confident posture and smile back in place. And, go.“I always planned to finish, and that’s why I’m here now.” There. Not a lie. She doesn’t need to know the details.
She smiles, warmly. “I’m sure you are an incredible mother to that little girl. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me, too. And thank you. I’ve certainly had a lot of help with Sunny. There’s no way that kid would be half as awesome if she only had me raising her.”
Dr. Matthews laughs. “What is it they say? It takes a village?”
“It certainly does.” I nod in agreement.
“Right then. Amelia has a packet for you at her desk with your employment paperwork and the extra syllabus for the intensive. She should have contacted IT this morning to get your school login credentials. Once you log in you’ll see the courses divided by professor, in addition to the classes you’re taking. How many are you taking this semester?”
“Just one. I haven’t been in school for nearly a decade, and when I got the job as your TA I decided to ease my way back into being a student instead of taking on a full load from the start.”
“Smart. Especially with the extra work I’ve tossed at you.”
I laugh. “No doubt.”
“I want to introduce you to Dr. Belanger while you’re here. I think he’s on campus today — hold on a sec.” She stands and walks to her office door, opening it slightly. “Amelia, can you call Deborah in languages and find out if Dr. Belanger is in his office? Thank you.”
She turns and walks back toward her desk chair. “If he’s in today we’ll walk downstairs and you can meet him.”
