I exhale. “I honestly don’t know. The doctor said something about swelling and a lack of brain activity, but they’re keeping an eye on her today and I think they’ll run the test again this evening? He said we’ll know more after the next brain scan.”
“So, is that good or bad?” Melody lifts her chin from my shoulder and looks at my profile. I can’t turn my face and look her in the eye or I’ll lose it and start crying.
“Either? Neither? I don’t know. He didn’t sound particularly somber, but he also didn’t sound encouraging or hopeful.”
“What is he, a robot with no bedside manner?”
A small smile pulls at my lips. “No, he’s kind and actually gentle in his delivery. I think he’s just an expert at walking the line when it comes to these types of injuries. He doesn’t want to give us false hope, nor does he want to throw Mom into a deeper pit of despair than she’s already wallowing in.”
“I see. So your mom isn’t handling it well? I saw her last night before your parents headed to the hotel across the street to get some rest. I think she wanted to stay with Sunny but Jim vetoed that plan and took her to the hotel.”
I sigh. “She seems to be holding herself together pretty well. She cries a lot but she’s not screaming or fainting or anything. I think Dad is helping to hold her together during this limbo stage. Who knows what will happen after the next brain scan? I don’t even want to think about that right now.”
“You don’t have to, dear. Are you going to be here for a while?”
“Yeah. I slept alright in the recliner next to Belle’s bed last night so I’m good. That ICU room has no windows and I started feeling claustrophobic with Belle, Mom, Dad, the doctor, and myself in thatroom together. I needed a change of scenery, and I haven’t seen Sunny since the accident so I figured I’d hang out here for a bit.”
Melody walks toward a side table and picks up her handbag. “Sounds good. Do you have to leave for work or anything later?”
Still watching Sunny sleep, I reply, “No. We’re on fall break right now so Dr. Ryan doesn’t have classes.” My head snaps up. “Shit. I need to email him to reschedule our meeting later this week. He wants me to teach three of his classes next week and there’s no way I’m going to be able to do much of anything after last night. Assuming Belle pulls through, I’ll need to be with her and Sunny.”
“Try not to stress about it. If you need to reach out to your professor you can use my laptop. It’s in the bag in the corner.” Melody lifts her chin toward the messenger bag near the couch. I nod.
“I’m going to grab some coffee and something to eat. Want anything?” she asks.
Food. Do I want food? I’m not hungry, but who knows how I’ll feel in an hour. “Sure. Just whatever you’re having. I’m not picky.”
“Sounds good. Text me if you need anything.” She squeezes my arm before turning and leaving the room.
Sunny shifts in her crib, trying to move her legs even though the one is pinned by the blanket wrapped around her. She stills and continues to breathe steadily as she sleeps.
I reach down and finger one of her curls. They must have bathed her before putting her to bed because she smells like soap, not gasoline or soot.
“Sleep well, baby girl,” I whisper, then turn and fetch Aunt Melody’s laptop from her bag so I can email Dr. Ryan.
I sit and open the computer, remembering I didn’t ask Melody for her password. Thankfully she has a guest user option.
I log into my school email account and find a slew of emails from students. I swear, college students are idiots. I’ve worked as Dr. Ryan’s TA since my first year of grad school, and I absolutely love it. I don’t, however, love it when students email stupid questions that are answered in the syllabus.
I glance over the unread student emails and find the last message from Dr. Ryan.
Alis,
I know we discussed meeting this Thursday morning to go over next week’s teaching schedule, but I need to shuffle appointments and meet with you in the afternoon instead. Does 2 p.m. work for you?
Best,
Dr. Ryan
Thursday. That’s two days from now. Nope. Won’t work for me.How am I supposed to tell him I can’t work for a while? Will he need to find a new TA?I’m not his only grad student, so I’m sure he can easily find a fill-in, but if I’m gone too long he’ll have to find a permanent replacement.Ugh. Please, no.
Working as Dr. Ryan’s right hand is the most coveted student position in the English department. I spent my entire four years of undergrad working my ass off to maintain a 4.0 GPA and never missed an opportunity to establish myself as Dr. Ryan’s favorite student.
I’m kind of a fan girl. Not like a creepy or inappropriate fan girl. I’ve just followed Dr. Ryan’s work since high school. I’ve read every journal article, book, essay, etc. he has ever published. His expertise in eighteenth and nineteenth-century French literature absolutely blows my mind.
I’m captivated by novels. The ability to escape reality and venture into imaginary worlds or even transcend time is the most fascinating thing I’ve ever experienced. I knew from a young age that I wanted to major in English or literature and eventually become a writer. That desire cemented in my soul when fifteen-year-old me toured Grant University’s campus and sat in on a lecture by Dr. Jonathan Ryan about Gustave Flaubert’s debut novel,Madame Bovary, and its contribution to literary realism.
The rest, as they say, is history. After graduating with my bachelor’s I entered into the master’s program, studying under Dr. Ryan, and eventually secured my place as his TA.
