He walks out, and the door shuts behind him.
I rock my head against the wall and close my eyes, steeling myself for what’s to come.
Chapter
Fifty-Nine
Foster
I’m not sure whether it’s going to do me any good, but what I’ve been doing hasn’t been working. What’s the definition of insanity? Keep doing the same thing and expect a different result?
So I steel myself and knock on Decker’s door.
He answers and manages to keep his expression neutral. Thank God. If he’d looked smug, I would’ve turned around and left.
My shoulders lock up the second I step inside and see my mom on his couch, sitting comfortably, as though she’s at home here in his space. The sting of rejection hits because I’m not at all comfortable—not in his space or around either of them. It’s just another reminder of their relationship that I don’t share.
“Foster.” My mom stands, an expectant and surprised look on her face.
“Angela.”
She flinches when I use her given name. Good.
Decker clears his throat. “I’ll be out doing errands.” Then he’s gone, shutting the door behind him.
My mom gestures to the couch. “Will you come and sit?”
I take the chair in the corner by the window instead. It’s as far away as I can get and still be in the same room as her.
She nods as though she expected me to keep my distance. “Thank you for coming.”
The urge to make it clear to her that I’m not here for her rises up. I’m here because Callie’s pregnant, and I’m trying to figure out how to not screw up the one thing in my life that matters. But having this conversation devolve into an argument in the first two seconds won’t get me any closer to my goal, so I bite back my retort.
I cross my arms. “Just tell me what you want to tell me.”
She takes a breath, and I notice her hands are shaking as if she’s trying to hold herself together. Did she forget that she’s the one who gave me up?
“Your father and I got pregnant young.” Her mouth tightens. “That’s not an excuse. It’s just the truth. It was hard—raising twins, our marriage, all of it. We weren’t happy for a long time. Probably longer than we admitted.”
I stare at the wall behind her head because I cannot look at her face.
“When you started getting attention for baseball and your dad wanted to move you south, I told myself I was making the right choice. For you.” She swallows and takes a second to compose herself. “You had a real shot. Your dad wanted you in the elite programs, playing against better competition. You wanted it too. And I agreed to let him take you.”
I run her words through my head for a beat. “You could’ve come too.” My voice comes out sharp. “You could’ve brought Decker.”
It wasn’t as though he wasn’t also playing baseball at the time. Sure, my talent developed a little earlier than his, but he would’ve benefited from the move too.
Her eyes shine with tears. “I could have.”
“And you didn’t.”
She nods once. “I didn’t.”
I wait for the part where she blames my dad. Where she tells me she had no choice. Where she tries to make it seem like a noble sacrifice.
Instead, she looks me straight in the eye. “The truth is, I chose what was easier.”
Her words hit me harder than I’d like. My chest squeezes painfully. “You’re saying you left me with him because it was convenient.”
