“It’s my pleasure,” he said, shutting the door and following us into the wood-paneled foyer. “And I have to say, I’m curious what you want to speak to me about. Stella was vague on the details.”
Stella looked from him to me, and I could see the silent offer of help written on her face. I gave her a subtle head shake, telling her I had it, and she stepped close, wrapping an arm around my waist in a show of support.
I refocused on Richard, finally admitting to myself how much we looked alike, letting myself see all the things I’d been ignoring. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. His jawline. His hairline.
I cleared my throat. “My mother was Meg Neumann.”
Richard paled and took a step back. “I thought I was going crazy.” His eyes raked over me. “I thought I’d spent so much time trying to find her that I was starting to see pieces of her everywhere I went, even her features in strangers’ faces. The first time we met, I took one look at your eyes and almost asked if you knew her, because they’re exactly the same as Meg’s.”
Yikes. That wouldn’t have gone well.
“You weren’t imagining things,” I told him.
He eyed me the same way I’d eyed him a moment ago, as if comparing all our similarities. “Are you... mine? My son?” he asked, and the hopeful note in his voice, paired with his sincere expression, was like a knife to the gut.
“I am, but I can take a DNA test if you’d like.”
He shook his head. “I don’t need it. I mean, we should do it for record purposes, but, god, you look just like us. Just like a child of ours would. And... Meg? Is she here, too?”
The knife twisted deeper. “No, she’s...” I took a deep breath. “She passed nine years ago from ovarian cancer. I’m sorry.”
His eyes glassed over, a broken note entering his voice. “No,I’msorry. This is all my fault. Please. Give me a chance to explain.”
I nodded. “That’s what I came here for.”
Stella held my hand while he led us to the living room. My head spun. It wasn’t like I’d been expecting a huge blowup with the man—he was so even-tempered and laid-back the other times we’d interacted—but his easy acceptance still jarred me. Maybe because this was so different from all the confrontations I’d imagined. The way I’d planned to laugh in his face when I told him I was the cause of his downfall, the way I’d hoped he’d plead, beg for my mercy, just for me to tell him I didn’t have any.
He lifted a hand, gesturing Stella and me toward a couch, and I noticed the fine tremble in his fingers, the color on his cheeks, the moisture gathered in his eyes. The news of my mother’s passing had torn this man apart, and he was barely keeping it together.
Fuck.
How had I been so wrong about everything?
Stella and I sat. Richard dropped into an armchair opposite us, took a deep breath, and told us what had happened. Between his lack of tells and the brutal way he didn’t spare himself, I believed him, believed this was therealstory. He described meeting Mom, admitted that he knew he was in trouble from the first time she smiled at him. He even recognized the age gap, saying that while she was naïve in some ways because of how she’d been raised, she was also such an old soul because of what she’d been through with her family.
His marriage was already over by that point; he and his wife just hadn’t filed the paperwork because they both knew how messy it would be. Mom had been a breath of fresh air for him. Open, honest, guileless, so different from most people he knew. He promised himself after meeting her that he wouldn’t go back to her café, because she deserved better than a thirty-five-year-old married man who couldn’t make her any promises.
He lasted a week before he returned, and even though he told himself that it would really be the last time, every lunch break from then on found him at Meg’s table.
“I should have immediately told her I was married,” he said. “I’m not proud that I didn’t, and I’m not making any excuses for myself. At the time, I doubted anything would develop between us. I was convinced she was sweet to me because that’s how Meg was with everyone. She was the kindest person I’d ever met.”
I squeezed Stella’s hand, and she shifted closer to me on the couch.
Richard went on to describe their whirlwind romance. From his side, it sounded more like she was the one who swept him off his feet, his goofy smile making it clear that he’d been gone for her. Still, he thought maybe it was just a fling, that Meg would meet someone younger, more handsome, more available, and break up with him. It didn’t happen, and the day he realized he was falling for her, he told her about his wife. By then, they’d finally filed, but he knew it would be months if not years before they were able to fully untangle all their assets. Mom forgave him—too easily, he said—and told him she was willing to wait.
So they carried on their relationship. By that point, his soon-to-be ex-wife was seeing someone, too, and Richard, thinking it would be okay, brought Mom to a few smaller gatherings, meant for close friends. Friends he’d cut off after the way they’d treated her. Only the McCormicks had welcomed Mom with open arms.
My face heated, thinking how quick I’d been to damn them alongside Richard, assuming the absolute worst.
Richard said he’d been shocked when Mom got pregnant, because they’d been so careful, and he didn’t react well. He told her he needed a few days to sit with the news, a choice he deeply regretted.
“It took me a day,” he said, “to pull my head out of my ass and realize I’d be the luckiest man on the planet to have a child with that incredible woman.” He waved a hand, gesturing toward the room. “I put down a deposit on this place on day two, because Meg loved this neighborhood so much. I spent day three trying to pick out the perfect engagement ring because I knew I wanted to marry her as soon as I was legally able to.”
His grin was rueful. “I called her on day four, but her phone had been disconnected and her apartment was empty. That was the moment I realized how badly I’d messed up. How badly I’dbeenmessing up. But it was too late. She’d waited for me for so long, I just assumed she’d wait a few more days, and that was my mistake. I’ll never forgive myself for taking her kindness for granted.”
I almost begged him to stop talking, not sure how much more I could endure. So much of his story aligned with my mother’s, but where they diverged was what broke me. Mom had lied to me my entire life. This man wasn’t responsible for her downfall.She was. She was the reason I grew up the way I did, why we endured such hardships. How could she have possibly thoughtthatwas the better choice? It made me wonder if she’d ever questioned her decision, was ever tempted to return to the city to find Richard.
Why the fuck didn’t you?I wanted to scream at her. If she had, she might have lived. If she had, I might have grown into a different person. A better person. A man deserving of someone as incredible as Stella.
