“You won’t have to,” I told her. “I promise. I’ll find someone to speak to. Maybe use my best friend’s therapist. God knows that woman can keep secrets.”
“And I’m not, like, saying we’re together or anything,” she continued. “I just... want to see if there’s anything here.”
“There is,” I said. “At least for me. I’ve been gone for you since that first kiss and was just trying to fight it.”
“I knew it,” she said, shaking her head. “You got hard every time we fought, didn’t you?”
I leaned down and nipped her shoulder. “Every fucking time.”
We got out of the shower when the water started to cool, slipping into bed naked because we were low on clothes.
“See you in an hour,” I said, setting an alarm.
“You aren’t really going to wake me up, are you?”
“You have a concussion.”
“Aminorone. My head doesn’t even hurt that much anymore, and the hospital said we didn’t have to do this.”
“I’m not taking any chances,” I told her, turning her back to me and pulling her close beneath the covers.
“No,” she said, voice stern. “Bad, Tyler.”
I chuckled. “You being my dom doesn’t apply to your health and welfare.”
She grumbled but snuggled in, not bothering to fight me because she probably knew it was smart to be cautious.
I reached back to turn off the light, and with the blackout curtains blocking the setting sun, it felt like Stella and I were in our own little world.
“Why did you actually want to come here if you were so sure you were right?” she asked.
“You really are so much smarter than you look.”
She elbowed me.
I sighed. “Because a small part of me was second-guessing myself after meeting Richard. He... wasn’t what I was expecting. I’ve hated him for so long that I’d built him up to be this monster in my head. And then to meet him and have him act like a normal guy? I think it drove me off the deep end. Every time we were around him, I paid attention, and I didn’t see any tells that he was lying about the things he said or putting on a front or hiding the fact that he was a secret sociopath.”
I rested my head behind Stella’s on her pillow, dropping my voice. “It’s why I was such a dick to you whenever he was in attendance. Partly why I manipulated you into going back inside the night of the company party. I had to see him one last time, had to look him in the face and silently laugh at him while I made introductions to the employees I planned to blackmail. After that night, I was even more determined to take Richard down because Icouldn’tbe wrong about him. I’d spent too long planning for it, too long working toward it, and I was so close to finally achieving my goal that Ihadto see it through to the end. I was desperate because the small chance I might be wrong was too terrifying to face.”
I pulled Stella closer, insanely grateful that she was alive and mostly okay. Even if this was the only time I ever got to hold her, it would be enough, just to know she was living and breathing in the same world that I was.
“I’m sorry for everything that’s happened,” I said. “Especially last night and today. I was crazed, and I didn’t snap out of it until Jenny hit you and I thought I might have gotten you killed. No wonder you hate me.”
“I hated you so hard,” she said, and my attention snagged on the past tense of that statement.
“Don’t you still?”
“Maybe a little. But I like you a little, too.”
“I don’t deserve another chance.”
“Neither did I,” she said. “Seven years ago. And yet my parents gave me one. Blake did.Runa. That accident was my life-changing moment, my chance to become someone different, someone better, someone new. Maybe this is that moment for you. You had a horrible childhood full of betrayal and loss and people turning their backs on you. Maybe you just need someone to be there when you need it most. Someone to give you a chance. It’s up to you what you do with it.”
I dropped a kiss of thanks on the top of her head, because I didn’t want to make her any promises until she could trust me to keep them. Instead, I promised myself that I wouldn’t squander this opportunity. That I would do what it took to become a man worthy of Stella, but more importantly, worthy of me. I’d spent my whole life living for other people, focused on how they’d wronged or crossed me.
It was time to start living for myself.
35
