“Walking? Did she say she was coming home?” Axel asked.
“I didn’t ask. Although…” She cleared her throat and lowered her voice. “She seemed upset when she arrived.”
Yeah. He knew.
“Let me know if you hear from her,” he said gruffly, thinking,Please. Please let her be all right.
Of course she was all right, he thought impatiently. It sounded like she had walked to the studio because she was angry with him. She was probably walking home, still clearing her head and cooling her temper. She had started to get her bearings in the city and knew which streets to avoid. She was picking up enough German to ask for help if she needed it. She was resourceful. She’d grown up in Chicago, for God’s sake. She was tough enough to deal with anyone who got fresh with her.
None of that reassured him. A sick churn of gravel sat in the pit of his gut, urging him to hit the Undo button and take back those biting words he’d hurled at her.Go. I release you.
What the hell had possessed him?
Restless, he took a quick inventory to see if she’d taken anything more than her handbag. Her dance bag was here. Her passport was in the safe. Her jacket was in the closet.
She hadn’t left him. Even though he’d told her to.
The ache in his chest sharpened. Where the hell had she gone?
When his phone rang, he snatched it up, but it was only Mira.
“Yes?” he said tersely.
“I have to get Otto’s mansion ready for sale. It occurred to me, there’s so much art there. I took what belonged to Mom ages ago, so everything there is something Otto bought. Joy should have a look and take what she wants. It’s not family portraits or anything, but she should have something of his, even as an investment.”
“I’ll mention it when I see her. She’s out.”
“You sound mad. What’s wrong?” she asked with concern.
“We had a fight. She went to the studio and should be home by now, but she’s not. And she’s not answering my texts.”And it’s all my fault.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Is that the reason you’re fighting?” she asked dryly.
“I told her to leave,” he admitted. Saying it aloud closed an icy fist around his heart, squeezing it into the base of his throat. How could he be so stupid? So cruel?
“Why?You seemed to really care about her.”
“I do,” he said through his teeth. “But—”I was afraid to care that much.Love was sold as a profound source of strength, but in his experience, it was nothing but a sense of helplessness.
So he’d fought against succumbing to it. Yet here he was. Helpless.
“Axel.” Her voice turned admonishing. “You said Otto was awful to her. I don’t know what it’s like to be adopted, but I do know what it’s like to wonder why someone who is supposed to care about you doesn’t. If you acted like you cared, then told her to leave—”
“I know,” he said through his teeth, barely able to withstand the clench in his chest.
I just can’t help thinking there’s a reason you can’t love me.
He had promised to protect her from Otto, then hurt her worse than anyone else ever had.
“I have to go. I need to find her.”
* * *
Joy had texted Lowell Fontaine that she was coming to his hotel. He met her in the lobby along with his wife, Pascale.
