She wore her bathrobe. Her hair was pulled back from her freshly washed face, and she was midway through applying makeup.
“We have lots of time. Finish your call. Hello, Carrie.” He stepped into view of the screen.
“Hi, Axel. It’s good to see you, but I’ll let you go,” the very pregnant Carrie said. “I have to get ready for work. I was just excited when I saw Joy’s text and wanted to congratulate her. Buy your wife some flowers,” she instructed. “I’ll talk to you both soon.”
The women blew kisses at each other, and Joy ended the call.
“You got in?” Axel asked. “For the performance?”
“I did.” A little of the sparkle returned to her eyes, and she couldn’t seem to fight the grin that pulled at her lips as she added with shy pride, “As one of the leads.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” The fact she seemed to have texted her family without telling him was a surprisingly deep cut.
“I was going to tell you when I saw you.” She sounded defensive and turned back to her makeup and the mirror.
“Well, I’m proud of you.” He drew her back around and into a hug, even picked her up.
She stiffened in surprise as he turned in a circle and set her back on her feet, then she released a soft laugh of surprise, flustered and blushing. “Thank you.” Her expression shifted into earnestness. “I couldn’t have done it without you so, really. Thank you.”
“Don’t say that.” He knew what dance meant to her. He was glad that he had some tiny part in making this happen for her, but he squeezed her shoulders and rubbed the soft velour of the robe down her arms. “You did the work to earn it.”
“I know, but…” She shrugged, then shifted away from his touch.
He simply couldn’t stand it any longer. “Carrie is right. We should celebrate. Let’s skip the party and spend the weekend in Heiligendamm. The days are warm enough for beachcombing. It won’t be overrun with tourists yet.”
She lifted her gaze, properly meeting his eyes for the first time in days while her brow quirked with tentative optimism. “Really?”
If it meant she would quit avoiding him? “Yes.”
* * *
They left within the hour, taking a helicopter to an elegant resort on the Baltic Sea.
Joy had been wallowing in misery for days. She had been okay with being in a loveless marriage before she’d fallen in love herself. Before she’dsaidit.
Maybe, if she hadn’t had a bone-deep legacy of being rejected, she could have withstood Axel’s rebuff more easily, but she kept wondering whether she was actually lovable. Yes, her family loved her, but they didn’t fully understand her. The man who did understand her didn’t love her.
The one thing that had saved her this week was dance. It had given her an outlet for her sorrow and loneliness and yearning and unrequited feelings. Inga had hugged her when she offered her the lead, calling her “one of our brightest stars.”
In the dance studio, at least, she was truly wanted. Integral, even.
She wasn’t sure if Axel was trying to spoil her to make up for their fight—which hadn’t even been a fight. She was glad to spend time with him. She loved him. Of course she wanted to be with him, but she also felt as though she walked around without a layer of skin, everything feeling raw and exposed.
She was instantly charmed by the historic buildings, though, all painted white. He had booked them into a tower suite of a luxury hotel, one with two floors and endless views of the water. She couldn’t help but relax as they strolled the beach before dinner, then wilted themselves in the sauna. The next day, they had a couple’s massage, walked, ate delicious food and made love.
It was good. It always was. She felt as though her soul was wrenched from her body, but when it was over, she couldn’t relax in his arms the way she used to do. She made an excuse to use the bathroom, then asked, “Do you mind if I catch up on my sleep?”
He seemed surprised but rose to make a few calls.
This should have been the reconnection they needed, but she couldn’t help keeping a certain guard up, even as she called herself a fool for letting his reaction to her confession bother her so much. He cared about her. She knew he did. He gave her a good life. And he was right. They hadn’t been together very long.
She tried to let go of her hurt and simply enjoy their time together.
On Sunday, she brought their refilled coffee mugs up to the bedroom and sighed at the glorious view of sunshine and dark blue water. “I could look at that forever.”
“Do you want to stay another night?” Axel set aside his phone.
He was on the bench seat that ran under the line of windows facing the sea. He slouched against pillows piled into the corner and rearranged himself, waving to invite her to join him.
