Today I don’t take in the flowers on the side of the road I used to photograph or feel the sun beating down on me as I continue to put one foot in front of the other.The only thing I can think of is what I want to say.I feel the rage for the life they forced me to live filling me with every step I take as my eyes remain locked on the house all of my nightmares started in.
It doesn’t take me long to reach the back door of the house.The only door I was ever allowed to use because they didn’t want anyone seeing me entering the house for any reason.As soon as I step on the small porch, carefully avoiding all the boards I know creak and sag whenever anyone steps on them, I hear the argument my aunt and uncle are having.Once again it’s about money.
“We should have hidden that bitch better,” my uncle shouts and I can hear my aunt crying.It’s not the first time he’s made her cry.This tells me they’ve been at it for a long time.“Now we can’t use her for any more paydays.I can’t believe they really fucking took her.We know they all got arrested and I’ve been out searching for her every day.Has your useless ass done anything to find her?”
“Of course I have,” my aunt responds, her voice breaking and smaller than I’ve ever heard from her.“I’ve talked to people in town, put up fliers all over the place, and walked around thinking of anywhere she could possibly be.The only step I haven’t taken is going to the cops because that’s the last thing we can do.I highly doubt you’ve done a damn thing to find her.All of your time is spent at one of three places.You’re either at the bar, casino, or with that slut!”
Instead of responding with words, I hear the telltale crash of something inside.This time my uncle hasn’t thrown something at my aunt, he’s beating the shit out of her.There’s another crash and I know it’s one of the chairs at the kitchen table hitting the floor.I’ve heard it happen enough over the years to recognize the sound deep in my soul.Again, the memories hit me like a brick and I have to force them away.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?You don’t ever talk to me like that you stupid bitch,” my uncle yells as more crashing sounds from inside.
I thought I’d be rooted to the spot as if my feet were glued to the porch.However, I have no problem stepping forward and reaching out to grab the door handle.The screen door that usually alerted them to my presence if they weren’t fighting has been ripped from its hinges and lays against the railing of the porch.This is new but it works to my advantage.Slowly, I turn the handle and open the door leading into the kitchen.Before it’s open too far, I see my uncle beating the hell out of my aunt as she lays on the floor at his feet.She’s covered in blood and I can see bruises, old and new, covering her exposed skin.
“Stop,” she pleads with him, covering her head with shaking arms.“Why do you always go this far?”
“Shut the fuck up!”he screams before spitting on her body and standing up straight for a minute.This is my chance to surprise them.
While I finish opening the door, I reach in the pocket of the hoodie and wrap my hand around the gun I placed there before leaving the house.Roger got it for me and we’ve been working on my shooting while I was on the ranch.Way out back where hardly anyone ever goes, he set up a range and goes there daily.I started to go with him and he taught me how to shoot all kinds of guns.Once I found one I liked shooting, he bought me a brand-new one and made sure I had plenty of bullets.Roger wants to know I’m protected when he can’t be with me.Or when Kreed isn’t home.Kreed knows I’ve learned how to shoot and we plan on going to a range together.It just hasn’t happened yet.
“Why don’t you shut the fuck up?”I say, my voice steady and strong as I watch my uncle whip around and face me.“You run your mouth far too much for such a piece of shit.”
“Well, well, well.Look who returns.You’ve been gone long enough.We’ve been looking all over for you,” he says, a sick smile on his face as he looks at me and I can see dollar signs in his eyes.
“I’m sure you have.You owe a lot of people money and they’re wanting to collect one way or another.You either have to hand me over or pay back the money you already spent on booze, drugs, gambling, and the sluts you keep away from the farm,” I say and watch as all color drains from his face because he realizes I know more than he ever dreamed I’d discover.
“It seems we’ll have to break you all over again.You think you’re hot shit for some reason and you're absolutely nothing,” my uncle says, taking a step toward me while undoing his belt.It’s a go to weapon of his and half the scars on my back are from the belt buckle.
“You take one more step toward me and I’ll put a bullet in you,” I state calmly as he looks down and finally notices the gun in my steady hands for the first time.
“You don’t know how to shoot that thing,” he says, showcasing how ignorant he is.
“Wanna make a bet on if I do or don’t know how to shoot?Because I’ll tell you right now, Idoknow how to use this gun and as you can see my hand is extremely steady.I hit more bullseyes than I miss after shooting for almost two years now.Are you ready to risk your life or an injury?”I question him as I smile at him and remain locked on the stupid asshole I lived with for so long.“You do love to bet on things, don’t ya?”
“You little bitch.How dare you talk to me like that,” he grumbles as my aunt slowly gets off the floor and stands next to him.
“Why don’t we all calm down and talk about things like adults,” she says, trying to fix the situation as I keep my gun trained on my uncle because he’s the bigger monster of the two of them.
None of us talk as I keep my eyes locked on the pair in front of me.There’s so much I want to say to them about everything they’ve done over the years.About how they took my parents from me.For a minute, everything gets stuck in my mind because I’m so focused on not pulling the trigger and taking them out before I have a chance to say everything I want to.Plus, I hear the roar of several bikes coming closer and know without a doubt that Kreed and the club have shown up to support me.I might not have followed his light order to remain at home or on the compound, but he’s still going to show up for me.
