Her voice is soft and sweet though slightly rough since I can count on one hand the number of times she’s actually spoken to anyone in the clubhouse.Usually she nods or shakes her head in response to anything we say to her.
“Please?I know you haven’t eaten since dinner last night,” Cali says, a look of pity on her face as she looks toward the kitchen.“I hate eating alone and the guys aren’t ready for breakfast yet.I’d really enjoy the company in the kitchen.It will be just the two of us.”
Annistyn looks at me and I give her a slight nod of my head in encouragement.There’s one person I can call to get advice on how to talk to her and I’m surprised I didn’t think of him sooner.My girl heads toward Cali and together they walk in the kitchen and I listen as Cali talks a million miles a minute about anything she can think of to get Annistyn’s mind off of what she’s doing.I have noticed if we can slightly distract Annistyn when she’s got food in front of her, she actually takes one or two bites more than normal.Cali must have picked up on that as well.
It’s not long before Master and Suki make their way down from his room.They go to head in the kitchen until I speak up.“Don’t go in there right now.Breakfast will have to wait.Cali just got Annistyn in there and is tryin’ to get her to eat somethin’.”
“Fuck!”Master says, walking away from the doorway faster than normal.We all know what a big deal this is for Annistyn and no one here will do anything to make her avoid eating more than once a day.“Is this the first time she’s eaten more than once in a day since arrivin’?”
“Yeah.Cali told her none of us were ready to eat and she hates eatin’ alone.After her passin’ out a couple weeks ago, I need to do everythin’ in my power to ensure she eats more than once a day.It’s gonna be an uphill battle and one I’m tryin’ to figure out how to make happen.Gonna make a call to the only person I can think of who might have some sort of idea on how to get this to happen.I’ve never been around anyone with an eatin’ disorder before and I’m so far out of my depth here it’s not funny,” I answer him as Suki walks behind the bar and pours a cup of coffee for herself and Master while Evan gets a second pot brewing before everyone wakes up and prepares to start the day.
“You’re callin’ him in?”Caleb asks, a smile on his face because he knows exactly who I’m talking about.
“Yeah.I don’t have any other idea of who might be able to help me here,” I respond, pulling out my phone and finding his contact in my list.
I keep an eye on the kitchen.I can see just enough to pay attention to Annistyn as she takes a few small bites of the food on the plate in front of her.She’s got eggs, a piece of toast, and some bacon.I can see a glass of milk in front of her as well.Doc said she needed to drink milk and focus on eating protein right now.I’ve been trying to make it happen, but doesn’t always work.When Annistyn pushes her plate away, there is still more food on it than what she actually ate.This is what she does.She’s eaten so little for years and is scared she’ll overeat and get sick.That’s about all Doc was able to get from her after she woke up two weeks ago.Still, I’m happy as hell because she actually ate and I hope I can get her to eat lunch and then dinner as well.We’ll see how things go today but I’ll do what I can.For now, I need to make a call and get some advice from someone we’ve all turned to over the years for various reasons.
***
“Pixie, you wanna havelunch with me?”I ask Annistyn as she leaves her room with her camera in hand once again.
“Oh!”she says, her voice a squeak as she looks up at me.Instead of the pure fear I’ve witnessed in her eyes so many times when she gets scared, I see happiness as she smiles at me.This is the first time she doesn’t cower in response.Progress.“I wasn’t planning on eating again until dinner.”
“Nah, I made a sub and fries for lunch.I can’t eat it all on my own,” I tell her, reaching out slowly and lacing our fingers together.This is the first time I’ve initiated any physical contact with her when she’s awake.
Countless times over the months since Annistyn was brought into the clubhouse, I’ve held her while she sleeps and fights the demons no one knows about but her.From what I’ve gathered when she screams out and talks, there was some kind of accident she was involved in when she was younger.The abuse also started with her guardians after the accident.From what I’ve learned her guardians are her aunt and uncle.The people who are supposed to love and protect her have hurt her the worst.I hate learning information from her that way because she’s completely vulnerable and exposed without ever realizing it.However, at this point, I don’t know what else to do.It’s just hard because most of the time I’m not at the clubhouse when Annistyn manages to sleep.Her sleep is completely messed up and she goes to bed during the day while we’re all at work.The first time she had a nightmare scared the hell out of me.
I was walking back in the clubhouse from work and didn’t hesitate to head straight for my room to take a shower and wash the grime and dirt of the day from my body and hair.Before I can make it to the top of the stairs, the loudest scream I’ve ever heard fills the hallway and I know without a doubt the sound is coming from Annistyn.Running the rest of the way up the stairs and down the hall to her door, I pause long enough to knock twice.When she doesn’t answer, I know I have to get to her.Hearing her whimpers and screams filter through the door gut me and break my heart into tiny shards.The only thing I can think of is getting to her.
“Pixie, wake up,” I say as I race to the bed and drop down to my knees next to her.
Annistyn is thrashing in the middle of the bed and getting tangled up in the blankets she’s tried to kick off her body.I’m truly afraid she’s going to hurt herself with how hard she’s fighting against her nightmares and the blankets tangled around her body.
“I really need you to wake up, Pixie.Please,” I plead with her as I slowly stand and look down on her, a silent debate going on in my head about what to do to help her.
Annistyn continues to thrash in her sleep as if I’m not in the room with her.She’s so locked in her nightmare she can’t hear anything else.Without allowing myself to think too hard, I slowly climb in bed beside her and pull her into my arms.It takes a few minutes of me holding her tight and whispering words of assurance for her to finally start to calm down.Annistyn actually turns into my embrace and allows me to hold her close as she snuggles close and buries her head in my chest.
Even in sleep, Annistyn cries.Her tears are hot and scald my skin as if branding her mark on me in a way I’ll never forget.There isn’t anything in this world that can make me forget walking into this room to find her battling demons no one can take from her.Demons she’s lived through and now haunt her when she can’t fight them off on her own.If I have to become a demon slayer for her, I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure she can truly rest and not have to worry about them ever again.I’ll hold her every single day for as long as she wants to rest.I don’t care what it takes as long as Annistyn doesn’t have to fight alone any longer.
Annistyn lets me hold her hand as I lead her down to the kitchen.Once again, it’s completely empty and everyone has made themselves scarce as I lead her to the table where two plates of food already sit.The portion on Annistyn’s plate is obviously smaller than what I have.Pulling out her seat, I wait until she’s comfortable on the chair before pushing it in closer to the table.She weighs so little it’s like pushing in Dakota or Kylan.Pain fills me because Annistyn should have never been allowed to get this bad and develop an eating disorder.
Once she’s settled at the table, I walk across from her and take my seat.Along with the fries and sub, there’s also a glass of milk sitting in front of Annistyn.This time it’s chocolate.Doc doesn’t care what kind of milk it is as long as she drinks some each day.So, I’m trying this for lunch.It takes a lot to get Annistyn to try new things so I’m hoping this doesn’t make her shove her food away before she takes more than a bite of it.
Without making it obvious I’m paying attention to the girl across from me, I pick up my sub and begin eating.I’ve learned this is the best way to get her to eat.Don’t make everything obvious and treat her as if she’s simply sitting across from you and eats a full meal each and every single time.If Annistyn feels as though she’s under a microscope, she won’t eat and will slump down in her chair as if she’s hiding.So, ignoring her during meals is important for the time being and one thing I’m okay with giving her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as she takes the smallest bite of sub.It’s ham, which I’ve seen her eat before, with lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, and cheese on it.I toasted the roll and melted the cheese on the ham before adding everything else.Annistyn closes her eyes as she slowly chews the bite of food and I tense for a brief moment because I’m not sure if this will actually agree with her stomach or not.
“Good,” she whispers once the food has been swallowed.“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Pixie,” I respond, continuing to eat and pretend I’m not watching her like a hawk.
Before bringing Annistyn down, I sent a message to everyone who wasn’t at the clubhouse already to stay away from the kitchen.The only ones I’m expecting to have a problem with are the club girls who believe they don’t have to listen to any of us.Thankfully none of them are here today.Cali sent them away this morning after she got Annistyn to eat breakfast.She knew what my plan was and ensured no one got in the way.Though, I have to admit that none of the girls here have done anything to hurt Annistyn or Laurie.If anything, they go out of their way to make them feel welcome and do what’s necessary for both girls who remain here with us for their own reasons.
Annistyn manages to eat about a quarter of the sub I made her and a few fries.She takes a few sips of the chocolate milk and thanks me for each item I’ve placed in front of her.Honestly, I wasn’t expecting her to eat quite as much as she did and am happy with the progress she’s made today.It might seem so small and insignificant to others, but it means so much to Annistyn and I hope it means she’s on the road to recovery and will overcome this eating disorder.I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll be at her side doing what I can every step of the way.
