“The keys, phone, and everythin’ else you bought me will remain here in the house.I can no longer accept anythin’ you have given me with the exception of one hoodie I am wearin’ to leave your home.I will make sure it’s washed and Roger can return it in a few days.Please thank Cali for being a friend when I needed one the most and apologize for me for intrudin’ on her life.I won’t be a burden to anyone here ever again.I’m sorry.Annistyn,” Viper says, anger filling his voice because everything is a fucked up and I have no one to blame but myself.
“Dammit!This isnotwhat I fuckin’ wanted,” I yell as I pull into my mom’s driveway.“Why didn’t any of you fuckin’ tell her where I was instead of lettin’ her believe I was out fuckin’ some random bitch?”
“You never told us we could, Link.You haven’t claimed her even though we all know she’s yours.Only the ol’ ladies ever get told anythin’.You know this,” he states as if I’m being the dumbass because that’s one of the first rules we made when we established the Feral Dragons MC.
“Fuck!”I yell as I park and get out of the driver’s seat and head for my mom’s door to help her out.“None of you saw her fuckin’ leave or checked on her between that day and now?”
“No.I’ve been workin’ at the garage because you and Reckless are gone.Master has been workin’ and doin’ his thing.We’ve all been busy.The girls mentioned casually today that they haven’t seen her around for the last five days and that’s when I came up to your house.Master is tryin’ to track her phone, but it doesn’t matter because it’s sittin’ at your house,” Viper answers me as my heart shatters into a million pieces that won’t be put back together again because I was so fucking stupid.
“Call Roger.I guarantee she went to the ranch.Tank already told me he would pick her up and take her to Clifton Falls, but I don’t think that’s happened.If she calls or shows back up, you fuckin’ tell her what’s goin’ on.I’m givin’ my verbal permission for any of you to talk to her about this shit.I’ll keep tryin’ to call and see if I can get a hold of Roger in the meantime,” I say before hanging up and walking my mom into the house.
“This is all your fault, Kreed.I told you to call her when you first got here.Now, you’ve lost the woman you love and have no one to blame but yourself,” my mom says, disappointment filling her voice as she shakes her head at me.
I absolutely hate to disappoint my mom for any reason.Knowing I not only hurt Annistyn but disappointed my mom breaks my soul.I didn’t know a soul could break until this very second.The two most important women in my life and I hurt them both in a way I never thought possible.All because I couldn’t take two seconds for a message or phone call.This is the absolute worst fuck-up of my life and I don’t know how I’ll ever fix it.
I walk into the kitchen so I can grab my mom a drink before I leave to go to the pharmacy when she gets the alert her prescriptions are ready.With my phone in hand, I try calling Roger to make sure Annistyn is okay and see if I can talk to her since she doesn’t have a phone of her own any longer to my knowledge.He doesn’t answer and sends my call to voicemail.Roger has never once ignored a call from me.This tells me he knows what’s going on and is pissed on behalf of his cousin.I swear because I know Roger won’t answer my calls or send me a message until Annistyn gives him permission.That could be never.This could have all been avoided if I wasn’t such a twatapotamus.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Annistyn
I’VE SPENT THE lastweek crying and being so angry I could barely sleep.It didn’t happen until I was absolutely exhausted and collapsed in bed after working on the ranch and talking to Debbie about things.My appetite has been non-existent but I’ve been forcing myself to eat.Debbie explained it’s the one thing I can control right now and I need to continue keeping track of my food intake and how often I’m eating.It’s the only way to truly ensure I’m eating and not falling back into old habits.She’s seen it happen before and been through it herself.Debbie knows how well I’ve been doing after looking at my journals and seeing my continued progress.I’ve had a session with her every day to explore my feelings and how I can handle them in a constructive manner instead of letting them derail everything we’ve worked on for so long.That’s the last thing I want to happen because it would mean letting everyone else around me win and control me even if that’s not their intent.
During the day, I work on the ranch and spend time with the puppies.My favorite one I’ve named Oreo is still here and Roger and I have been talking about me adopting her.Oreo is all black with a few white spots on her little body.One of the spots is around her right eye and another is on the tip of her nose.For some reason, I started calling her Oreo and it stuck.Everyone now calls her that name and she listens to it.The night I came back, Roger brought Oreo in to me and she slept in bed while I lay awake, petting her small body.I looked at all the pictures of Kreed I have on my camera while Oreo snoozed and kept her body plastered against me.
Meditating and yoga isn’t helping me the way it does because I’m consumed with thoughts of Kreed and what went wrong.What signs I missed telling me things had changed between the two of us.I think of the signs I missed with the rest of the members in the club telling me I wasn’t someone they wanted around.Kreed and I haven’t really talked about the club so I don’t know all of the rules and regulations they have in place.However, I never once believed the men I was starting to get to know would steamroll me and lie for Kreed.I thought they would be honest enough with me to tell me if something was wrong.Instead, I got blindsided by the fact that I’m not an ol’ lady and don’t deserve to know anything about the man I lived with.It was a hard, bitter pill to swallow and one I don’t know how to overcome.
I’ve been cooking and baking for Roger and everyone else on the ranch.There’s one girl here named Ivy.She’s young and has a young daughter named Charlotte.Her ex-boyfriend is very abusive and has put her through hell.She showed up on the ranch covered from head to toe in bruises and blood, cradling her daughter to her chest.Neither one of them were dressed to be out in a rainstorm.Ivy trusted me to hold her baby girl while she had an exam done, got her wounds cleaned and taken care of, and then showered and changed into clothes I gave her.Another parent there gave us clothing for Charlotte so I could bathe her after her exam.Ivy literally had nothing for her daughter and Roger ran out to get what we needed for them.
Since then, Ivy has been following me around the ranch and I don’t mind it at all.I help her take care of her daughter.Charlotte is only two months old and the best baby I’ve ever been around.I’ve been teaching Ivy how to cook and bake because no one ever taught her the basics of life.Her parents were older and set in their ways.They gave her the necessities but ignored her the rest of the time.While they weren’t cruel or abusive, they were neglectful which is almost as bad.So, I’ve been teaching her everything I know.Ivy is a quick study and picks up everything the second I demonstrate something to her.I almost think she has one of those minds where the second she hears or reads something, it’s never forgotten again.A photographic memory.
One of the other puppies, Beast, has taken to Ivy and Charlotte.He follows them around and it’s adorable.Roger has let her take him in the house with her because it’s the only way Ivy feels safe.Beast is a smart dog and has protected the young mom and her daughter when anyone else gets too close to them.I’m the only exception.Beast and Oreo get along great as they follow us every day.
Today is a huge day though.My family is coming to the ranch to meet me.We’re having a cookout and everyone is invited because I’m not about to exclude anyone.Especially Ivy.We’ve been cooking all morning and have a ton of food ready to go.
“Um, should I stay in the house with Charlotte?”Ivy asks me for the fifth time.Her ex-boyfriend never let her go in public with him and made her feel small and as if something were wrong with her.
