Chapter One
Annistyn
Four months later
WHEN I FIRST came intothe Feral Dragon clubhouse, I had no clue what to expect.Especially once I saw all of the large men filling what they call the common room.I was hurt, terrified, and clinging onto a man I’d just met—Kreed.Though the men of the club call him Link.The rest of the men who were with Kreed at the auction were shielding the rest of the girls and women who were saved with me.I couldn’t focus on them at that point in time though.My only concern was protecting myself as selfish as that sounds.We were in another new location and had no clue what was about to happen to any of us.Until I knew for sure what was going on, I couldn’t pay attention to anyone else.One of the many lessons I’ve learned over the years.Kreed led me to a room in the back that was full of medical supplies and a kind, older man they called Doc.He’s a member of the club and was softspoken.I was immediately put at ease as he examined me and treated all of the wounds I had.For the first time in years, I was being taken care of and it felt like a dream.
Doc was the first person I told my name to.I’m honestly surprised I remember it’s Annistyn and not one of the vile names my aunt and uncle called me so often over the years.They were horrible names no one should ever be called for any reason.Several times when I was at my weakest, I could barely remember the name my parents gave me when I was born.It was only when my aunt would scream it for one reason that I remembered.I allowed Doc to tell Kreed my name and he didn’t share it until I gave him the approval to share it with Reckless, Cali, their children, and Luca.Everyone else kind of heard it for one reason or another and it became known around the clubhouse.
It took a while for me to physically heal from the various wounds I was given between my aunt and uncle’s house and the jerks who had us for the auction.There were various cuts and scrapes on my body, old wounds that never got the chance to heal properly, and the wounds from the collar around my neck and the shackles on my ankles.What truly hurt was when they had to put my shoulders back into place.I don’t think I’ve ever screamed so loud in my entire life.Kreed continuously apologized for causing me more pain while Doc looked on with sad, knowing eyes.I’m guessing this isn’t the first time he’s had to do something like that.Doc tried to give me medicine to combat the pain I’d be in, but I refused.Being in a new location, I couldn’t afford to slow down or not have a clear head at all times.Since I’m so used to being in pain, it was nothing new for me and I’d suffer through like I always do.
Kreed managed to get the collar and shackles off of me while we were on the road.They came prepared for anything and had the tools required to cut the offending metal from my body.When he saw the damage left behind, I felt his body tense even more than it already was and saw the rage filling his eyes.I cowered from him in the corner of the seat the best I could since he had me laying down and was kneeling in front of me.When I first woke up, I was in his lap, but quickly scrambled off of him as soon as my eyes were open.Kreed didn’t force the issue and remained as far away from me as possible while I gathered myself and tried to figure out what was going on.
Kreed has been by my side since the day he saved me and brought me here with him.Out of all the girls they saved that fateful day, only two of us remain here in the clubhouse.The other girl, Laurie, works behind the bar with the Prospects of the club.She’s just as shy and timid as I am but does her job and keeps her head down.I’ve met his best friends, Reckless and Cali, along with their kids.I’ve always loved kids but I don’t go out of my way here to interact with them.They aren’t related to me and I don’t know Reckless or Cali well enough to interact with their children the way I watch Kreed with them.
We all share meals at the end of the day and that’s the only time I eat.It’s typically a large meal I eat bites of before I’m full.During the day when I’m resting or at the clubhouse alone, I don’t eat anything because I don’t trust that I won’t get in trouble for touching things that aren’t mine.Kreed has talked to me about this several times and some of the girls who remain at the clubhouse during the day have also tried to get me to eat, but I refuse.In my mind, it’s all a trap and the safety I’ve experienced feeling so far is nothing more than a charade to get me to lower my guard.
Over the last four months, I’ve gotten myself into a routine that works for me.Since I tend to have problems sleeping at night, that’s when I sneak out of the room right next to Kreed’s and make my way down to the common room of the clubhouse.Gathering all of the cleaning supplies, I go through the kitchen first and clean everything from top to bottom.If I have the energy, I’ll usually start something for breakfast before the club members start waking up to start their day.I’ve learned how they prefer their coffee made so they can grab mugs of it on their way to grab breakfast before heading to work for the day.The girls who are supposed to cook always thank me when I start meals for them.
After I’m done in the kitchen, I usually clean the common room and bar.It’s easier to clean in there and takes less time than the kitchen.This is the time I allow myself to slow down because when I do a lot too fast, I tend to get dizzy, start feeling as if I’m overheating, and I get a headache.It feels as if I’ve run a million miles when all I’m doing is cleaning a few rooms.I simply don’t have the strength or energy to get through each room all at one time like everyone else.Kreed is the only one who has caught me sitting down once I’ve started cleaning and he hasn’t said a single word in anger to me about it.If I were at my aunt and uncle’s I’d not only be screamed at, but I’d be beaten for lingering in their house or trying to get out of doing my work.
Today’s been a rough day.One of the worst in a long time.I’ve been without food and water for almost four days now because I supposedly broke one of my aunt’s cups.My uncle is the one who actually broke the cup and blamed it on me.That was before he beat me for breaking their things and lying about it.I guess it’s better for my aunt to be mad at me instead of mad at her husband.So, she sat there with a smile on her face as my uncle beat the hell out of me with his belt and cut into my arms with shards from the broken cup.My uncle cut me deeper than normal and refused to allow me to clean and care for the wounds he inflicted so it only led to me having to clean a larger mess until I stopped bleeding all over the place.
I have no energy and with each step I take, the feeling of blacking out washes over me.Still, I have to clean the house, get the laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away, make dinner, and do all of the outside chores no one here wants to do.My uncle left late last night for some trip he claims is business but last I knew, he didn’t work.All he does is lose money at the casino and then take the anger out on me.He’s woken me up in the middle of the night more than once to beat because he lost way more money than he originally anticipated.It was one of the times when he almost lost the house that had been in my aunt’s family for several generations.
As I clean the kitchen after starting a roast in the crockpot, my vision starts to turn hazy and the dizziness is overwhelming.I have to grab onto one of the chairs at the table just to stop myself from falling to the floor.That’s how my uncle finds me when he stumbles into the house already drunk first thing in the morning.
“You lazy piece of shit!”he screams at me while undoing his belt and wobbling in my direction.“How dare you think you can take a break from your chores when this place is completely destroyed!”
“I’ve been cleaning, Uncle,” I plead, my voice a broken whisper as he makes his way over to me.
I rarely speak and now my voice only comes out in a whisper.Since no one ever bothers to ask me a question or have a conversation with me, my voice has simply vanished over the years.It takes a lot for me to say anything and when I do my words come out broken.At this point, I don’t remember what my voice ever sounded like when my parents were alive and I talked and laughed all the time.Those moments remain only in my memory when I allow myself to remember what life was like before the tragedy changed my life forever.Most of the memories are hazy and disjointed because I was so young.
“Doesn’t look it to me.There’s dishes in the sink, the newspaper on the table, and clothes in the living room that have to be washed.Did you even feed the animals yet?Or are you trying to get out of all your work?”he questions me as his belt cuts into the skin of my back for the first time.“You’re a lazy bitch and I’ll beat some work ethic into you if it’s the last thing I do!”
My uncle is referring to the dishes I just used to start the roast and breakfast from this morning.My uncle knows I never wash them the second I’m done cooking because they’re way too hot for them to be washed.I always wait for them to cool down before starting to work on them.This has been the way I’ve done things for as long as I can remember and no one has ever complained before.Today must be a horrible day for my uncle and he probably lost a ton of money at the casino.
The beating lasted forever until my uncle finally got tired and I collapsed to the floor at his feet.If I thought I was dizzy before, it’s nothing compared to what I’m feeling now.My vision is fading to nothing as he kicks me in the stomach and makes his way into the living room.He’ll stay there until he passes out and I have to clean around him.I’ll get in trouble for that too because it wasn’t done before he sat down.Problems to worry about as I try to fight against the overwhelming pain and need to sink into the bleak nothingness calling me like an old friend.
After finally winning the struggle, I pull myself back up to my feet and continue cleaning the house and getting the laundry done.It takes a lot longer than normal and my aunt comes home before I’m done.Thankfully, my uncle doesn’t wake up again before I manage to sneak out of the house and make my way to the barn where I sleep and spend all of my ‘free’ time.I only give myself twenty minutes to clean up before I get to work on the nightly outside chores.The animals won’t take care of themselves and I actually prefer to spend my time with them versus being in the house with my aunt and uncle.
Kreed has found me passed out in the common room of the clubhouse when I couldn’t fight against the dizziness.Instead of being mad or beating me, he took care of me and made sure Doc was in the medical room to examine me.I’ve known for a long time I have an eating disorder, now I have an actual name for it though.It stems from years of being starved as a form of punishment and only allowed scraps a few times a week the rest of the time.When I do eat, I barely take a few bites before I can’t eat anymore.And I have to watch what food I eat because some of it upsets my stomach and I don’t want to get sick and lose the only food I’ve consumed for the day.Or make anyone angry because I’ve wasted their food and the money it cost to buy.
The other reason I tend to clean the clubhouse at night is because that’s when it’s essentially empty.I have no reason to go into the rooms of the members and only clean the public areas of the clubhouse.Ones I haven’t been told are off-limits when Kreed gave me a tour shortly after arriving here.During the day, I tend to remain in the room I was given with the door locked.Kreed is the only one who has the key and only enters after I allow him to.He never takes advantage of this being the home of the club members and respects my privacy and need to remain alone when I become too overwhelmed.Especially if I’ve recently had a panic attack or one of the flashbacks that haunt me at extremely random moments.
