“She’s doing okay, Kreed.It’s still early and Annistyn has been trying to find her footing.Her therapist said she’s just starting to really open up about anything she went through over the years.Until two days ago, she’d sit in the office and cry but wouldn’t say a word.Instead, she listened as her therapist started to talk and share parts of her own story.It’s a way they build trust with their patient.Annistyn doesn’t trust anyone easily and you know this.I hear her every damn night crying in her room but leave her alone.She locks the door and won’t let anyone close to her,” Roger informs me as I leave the common room and head for my office so I can have privacy for this conversation.
“Is it affectin’ her eatin’?”I ask him because that’s something she can’t afford to slide backwards on.
“I don’t allow it to affect her eating,” Roger says as I listen to him move around on his end of the conversation.“The first day she was here, Annistyn didn’t want to eat at all.She kept saying she’d eat later and I knew she was lying.I forced her to eat but didn’t push her too hard because I knew it could hurt her in the long run.We sat down together after I prepared her something to eat and she took a few bites.It wasn’t as much as she was eating before leaving the clubhouse, but it’s more than what she was eating.This is all new for her and there will be an adjustment period.My medical team has taken blood work at least once a week from her to ensure she doesn’t need to be taken to the hospital again.So far her numbers remain steady and still need a little improvement before they’ll be comfortable and stop doing the blood work.”
“What about snacks so she can eat in the middle of the night?I’m not sure she’ll make the effort if things aren’t already in her room,” I ask him because I’ve spent hours learning her routines and what makes her happy.Especially all of the food she likes to eat I tend to keep on hand for her.
“The stuff you sent has been put in her room and I check it every day.She’s getting low on some stuff and could use replacements.I’ll pick them up later today when I head to the store,” he says as I open one of my apps and start shopping to have a delivery made to the ranch.“We have learned one thing in the two weeks since she’s been here.”
“What’s that?”I ask while continuing to shop for my girl.
“She’s terrified of horses.That’s one thing they didn’t have on her aunt and uncle’s farm so she’s never been around them.The first time she got close to one of the horses, Annistyn lost her mind and froze on the spot.It took her almost a half hour to work up the courage to back away from the horse.Thankfully, the horse didn’t move an inch.She could sense how nervous and scared Annistyn was.Now, she tries to stay away from the barn, but it’s not possible because that’s where the puppies are and she loves spending time with them.I’ve never had someone here spend as much time with them as she does.Always with her camera too.I did give her the memory cards you bought her as well.She’s definitely using them,” he informs me and I wish I were with her even more so I could help her overcome her fear.
“What else does she need, Roger?Toiletries?Books?Notebooks and pens?”I ask him, already searching what I can have delivered for her.
“She’s good on all of that.Right now, she’s trying to figure out how to get through each day and try to forget everything she left behind at the clubhouse.She dreams of you every night.I hear her say your name while she dreams.The last few nights she’s had a lot of nightmares and has to fight through them on her own because I can’t get in the room.I won’t betray her trust by knocking in the door when she clearly doesn’t want anyone to invade the space I’ve given her.I’ve talked to her therapist about the nightmares she’s having again and have been informed it’s because Annistyn is finally starting to work through her trauma.She’s reliving everything she’s been through as she slowly begins to talk about things.Right now, the focus has been on the accident and learning she was going to live with her aunt and uncle as a toddler.Annistyn really doesn’t remember much of that time because she was so young, but it’s enough to have made an impact on her,” Roger says and I worry it will all be too much for her to deal with on her own.
“She’s bein’ safe?You’re keepin’ an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t do anythin’ rash?”I question the man I’m entrusting with her life.
“She’s being safe, Kreed.None of us here believe she’d do any harm to herself.She wants to work through everything and learn to deal with it all in a way that makes sense for her.When she gets too overwhelmed, that’s usually when Annistyn heads to the barn or one of the gardens.She really loves to work with the plants and flowers.I’ve found her out there first thing in the morning just taking in everything around her.She’s also starting to journal when her feelings become too much and first thing in the morning she does yoga as the sun rises above her.Things her therapist has suggested she do to keep her thoughts from becoming a jumbled mess.The yoga will help her focus on learning how to breathe and focus her attention.There are a lot of benefits to yoga and I feel Annistyn will truly benefit from making it a regular part of her routine,” Roger says as I place the order after adding a leather-bound journal to the cart with a camera and flowers on the cover.It’s perfect for my Pixie.
“Okay.Please keep me updated and let me know if anythin’ changes.I keep my phone on me at all times and will never not answer a call from you.She’s my entire world, Roger.Don’t let anythin’ happen to her,” I say, looking at the pictures I have of her on my desk.I’ve printed out more and they fill the edge so I can look at her whenever I want.There’s also some in my room now too.“Got a delivery comin’ your way.It should be there in an hour or so.I’m not hidin’ that it’s from me if she asks.I just want to make sure she has everythin’ she could want or need while she’s there.”
“Okay.I’ll make sure she gets it.I’m about to make dinner and will be out at the grill when the order should arrive.Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, Kreed.She’s gonna need you before you even realize it,” he says before hanging up the phone and I’m left in a silent room with nothing but my thoughts.
I can’t keep drinking the way I have over the last few days.Roger is right.I have to remain clear-headed and alert in case Annistyn needs me.If I don’t take care of myself, I won’t be ready for her when she comes home.And she will be coming home.My girl will not live anywhere other than with me and if it takes years for me to make her see that, I’ll do it.
We’re all sitting in the common room tonight because Cali decided it was going to be a family night for the club.The Feral girls have been sent away so they don’t interrupt us like they have been.Laurie is the only woman still here because she’s not a Feral girl.She doesn’t mess around with any of us and her intention is simply to get back on her feet and find her place in the world.She’s actually been talking about moving out of the clubhouse and state to go to college and find a job she can be proud of.Of getting her life back on track where it was before she was kidnapped.
Caleb, Playboy, and Tank are sitting at a table with me.They just made the trip here for a visit because it’s been way too long since we’ve seen them.Sam and my mom are here as well.My mom isn’t doing very well and I’m ready to move her here with us so I can be the one to take care of her on the days she can hardly move.Something she’s been keeping from me so I don’t worry.Every morning the first thing she does is ask me if I’ve heard from Roger about Annistyn.While I don’t give her any updates, knowing I’ve heard about her is enough for now.My mom realizes the importance of not sharing information I’ve been given by Roger because Annistyn will see it as a betrayal and I’ll lose her.Maybe not forever, but I will lose any foundation we’ve already started to build before she left.
My back is to the wall and the main entrance of the clubhouse is in my direct line of sight.I’m listening to Playboy and Caleb argue about something, which is nothing new for the two of them, when the door opens.The bright light from the sun outside blinds me and I’m unable to see who enters the room until I hear a gasp from the side of me.My eyes are locked on the figure walking inside as the door closes and a clear image starts to fill my vision.
Standing just inside the door is a vision I’ve had so many times, I’m unsure if I’m seeing something real or if it’s just another dream.Annistyn stands still as she looks around the common room.Her long, black hair is even longer as it falls down her back and over one of her shoulders.There is no make-up on her face and her violet eyes are locked on me as I take in every inch of her.For the first time since I saw her in the warehouse, Annistyn is standing tall, her eyes aren’t on the floor, and there’s a large smile on her face.There’s a newfound determination and confidence to her I’ve never been lucky enough to witness before this very moment.The largest smile I’ve ever seen is aimed directly at me and it causes my heart to stutter in my chest.This isn’t the fake smile she used to plaster on her face in front of the kids when they were near her.Annistyn has a genuine smile on her face.One that reaches her eyes and lights up the entire room.
What really makes me happy is the weight she’s put on.Annistyn has curves in all the right places now and she’s not as thin as a pole.Her clothes fit her and emphasize her body in ways she’s never shown before.The jeans covering her legs are tight and cover the tops of a black pair of high-heeled boots.She’s wearing a deep blue shirt that shows off her chest with a light sweater over top of it so she isn’t really showing off her body to everyone in the room.There’s a shine to her skin that wasn’t there before and I want to run my hands over every inch of her body to take in the new changes I’m seeing.Of wondering if her skin is as soft as it looks from across the room.Fuck!This girl will be my undoing.
“You gonna keep sittin’ here or go get your girl, Dumbass?”Caleb asks me and that’s all I need to jump out of my seat and rush across the room.
All I can see is Annistyn.Everyone else fades to nothing as my world finally rights itself once again.I don’t stop until I’m close enough to pull my Pixie into my arms after she drops her bags to the floor at our feet.She doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around my shoulders and dig her fingers into the short strands of hair at the nape of my neck.I can feel her tears as they soak my shirt and cut while her body trembles along with mine.My heart is beating so fast and hard, I know she can feel it as I simply breathe her in and keep my arms locked around her body.
“I’ve missed you so much, Pixie,” I whisper so only she can hear me without letting her go.
“I’ve missed you too, Kreed.I’m sorry I left the way I did and didn’t talk to you while I was away.I just knew I wasn’t strong enough to stay on the ranch if I saw you or heard your voice.You became my main source of support and I had to do this on my own.To prove I’m good enough to me and to you.Do I still have a room here at the clubhouse?”she asks, not a hint of confidence fading from her.
Annistyn’s voice is louder than I’ve ever heard it before.It’s still soft and gentle, but she’s not whispering so I have to lean in just to hear her.Her words are strong and steady as we remain locked around one another.
“You always have a room here, Pixie.But, we won’t be stayin’ here.I’ve been workin’ on the house while you’ve been gone and I’d like for us to start stayin’ there if you’re okay with it,” I inform her, finally pulling back long enough to place a kiss against her forehead and lingering there for a minute because I still can’t believe my girl is standing in front of me and I’m not dreaming again.
“Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”she asks as I lean back and look her in the eyes.
“It’s our home, Annistyn.Told you before you left you weren’t ready for the conversation about us.We are gonna happen and that’s just a fact.Everythin’ still happens at your pace, but you’re mine,” I state as the room around us erupts in cheers while I smile at Annistyn.
“Okay.Can I see Cali and the kids now?”she asks because I hear little feet moving toward us.
“You can do whatever you want, Pixie.Mom is here too.She’s been dyin’ to see you,” I tell her as I move out of the way just in time for Dakota and Rory to collide against Annistyn’s legs.It’s hard enough I have to hold her steady so they don’t all fall to the floor in a pile.
“Auntie!”both girls shout at the same time, making Annistyn laugh.It’s the most beautiful sound in the world and the first time I’m truly hearing it.Fuck!If I thought I was in love with her before, it’s nothing compared to now.I have a feeling every time I discover some new facet of Annistyn I’m going to fall even harder for her.
