I follow the sound of the voice very slowly.It seems to take forever, but everything comes back to me.I’m sitting on the floor of the common room.Kreed’s body is wrapped around mine and no one else is close to us.Kreed is cradling my head against his chest so I can hear his heart pounding steady and strong as he continues to whisper words only I can hear.I’m not sure what he’s saying, but it’s working to pull me out of my mind and reliving one of the many nightmares I suffer through daily.
“I-I-I’m o-o-okay,” I whisper when I can finally suck in a breath and the tightness in my chest eases a fraction.
“You’re not, Pixie.You’re far from okay,” Kreed says as he lifts me in his arms and sits me in the chair at the table I was previously at.I honestly have no clue how I ended up on the floor.“What the fuck happened?I want to know who hurt Annistyn and caused her to have a panic attack.”
“It was Carly.She asked Annistyn if she ever had a drink before.When Annistyn said no, Carly decided to have Evan bring over shots.Evan didn’t bring the drinks over.Annistyn kind of faded into nothing and fell from the chair just before you ran in here,” Cali answers as I remain locked in Kreed’s arms, trembling in the aftermath of the panic attack and memories.
“Carly, why the fuck would you take it upon yourself to get Annistyn to drink?If she wanted to have one, she’d order it herself.Who the fuck are you to demand anyone do anythin’?”Kreed asks the woman in question, his voice cold and hard in a way I’ve never heard before.I’m still not scared of him.Deep down I’m starting to believe Kreed would never hurt me.That thought scares me more than anything else.
“If she’s gonna be here, she should do what the rest of us do,” Carly says, a sneer on her face as she glares at me.
“Annistyn isn’t like you and never will be.She’s pure, innocent, and in recovery.For you to pull this shit because you’re drunk is more than enough reason for me to kick you the fuck outta here.You’re the only girl who has treated Annistyn this way and I won’t tolerate it at all.Annistyn is mine and you won’tevergo near her again.I will bring up in church you bein’ kicked out.For now, you’re on probation and not allowed to drink until further notice,” Kreed orders as Evan and one of the other guys drag a screaming Carly away from the common room.“Let’s get you up to your room, Pixie.”
I nod my head and allow Kreed to remove me from the room.I’m embarrassed anyone saw me lose my shit and don’t open my eyes the entire time he guides me to the stairs and then up them.I listen as he unlocks my door and opens it before guiding me inside.The door closes behind us and I feel Kreed put me on the bed and lay down before he climbs in next to me.I’m wrapped up tight in his arms as exhaustion claims me and pulls me under into a nightmare free sleep.It’s not uncommon after I have a panic attack.
Chapter Six
Link
ANNISTYN HAS BEEN evenmore subdued than before over the last few days since she had a panic attack in the common room.There was a crowd who witnessed her and I know it embarrassed her.Annistyn has nothing to be embarrassed about though.She experienced something horrible in the past and Carly forced her to relive it publicly.If I were a different man, I would rip that bitch limb from limb and watch her bleed out.My need to protect Annistyn is all-consuming and I won’t hesitate to do almost anything in order to ensure she’s safe and never has to relive her past because of someone else’s actions or words.I know Cali was pissed as hell and she went up one side of Carly and down the other one.Punches were thrown and Carly is the one who now looks as if she went three rounds with a boxer instead of my best friend.Annistyn still doesn’t know Cali is the one who beat the shit out of Carly and we don’t ever plan on her finding out.The last thing we want is for her to change how she views Cali because of the violence.
Annistyn is also back to hardly eating anything.Once a day she eats if Cali and I join her.When she has a plate of food in front of her that’s made as small as the kids, she only takes a few bites, leaving most of the food behind.We can’t get her to drink milk any longer.The only thing she’ll have is water from a bottle, and she has to open it herself.Honestly, I don’t think Annistyn actually takes five bites of food before she’s done.It’s a restrictive form of an eating disorder and one I will be researching more when things settle down.Right now, my focus has to be on Annistyn because I don’t want to see her disappear into the shell of the woman she was when she first arrived at the clubhouse.It happens a little more each day and I don’t know how to stop her from pulling away from all of us.
The day after the park incident, I did buy her a phone on my plan.It’s a new model smart phone and we’ve all been trying to teach her how to use it, but it’s slow.Annistyn has a hard time remembering what to do other than making calls and responding to messages.She doesn’t send a message to any of us first, but we have been sending her multiple messages a day in order to get her used to texting us back.One day she’ll start messaging us first and I’ll patiently wait for it to happen.Until then, I’ll keep helping her learn the phone and get used to being on it daily.
I hate to leave her for any reason, but I have to work and not treat her as if she’s a child who needs a babysitter.I’m so worried about the woman who steals my heart each and every single day without even trying.Viper and Cali have also been keeping a closer eye on Annistyn.They spend time with her and try to get her to eat knowing she’s reverted back to how she was months ago when I first brought her here.The three of us watch her when we’re at the clubhouse and have taken to remaining there in shifts.When two of us are gone, one of us stays at the clubhouse in order for us to make sure she doesn’t overwork herself and comes out of her room.For the most part, Annistyn stays in her room because she doesn’t want to be around everyone who saw her lose her shit.I need to get Tank here immediately because he’s the only one who might be able to get a handle on the situation and figure out the best way to help Annistyn.
“We got church in five.Got a lot to go over today.Master also wants to talk to you in private,” Caleb says, walking up to the bar next to me where I watch Annistyn sit with Cali at the table in the back away from everyone else.
“I’m gonna talk to Annistyn before headin’ in.I want to know if she’s okay with others knowin’ what Master has to talk to me about,” I say, pushing off the bar and making my way across the room toward her.Annistyn’s eyes are locked on me as she watches me move toward her.“Can we talk, Pixie?”
She nods her head in response.That’s something else she’s reverted back to doing—barely responding with words and nodding or shaking her head in response to us.I hate knowing she was making progress and a few words from a drunk skank caused her to go back to how she was months ago.This is all part of the process though.
I reach down and lace my fingers with Annistyn’s.She doesn’t pull away from me and allows me to lead her from the common room and down the hall.I take her into my office and close the door behind us while leaving it open a crack so she doesn’t feel as if I’m locking her in this room with me.I will always do what I feel is best for her and making her feel as safe as possible with me is my only goal right now.
“Pixie, we’re havin’ church in a few minutes.Master has been lookin’ into a few things for me and I was wonderin’ if he could share that information in front of the group.If you’re not okay with it, that’s fine.It would just save time and everyone would know what’s goin’ on at the same time.I just don’t want to push past your comfort level and do somethin’ you don’t want me to,” I tell her, my voice a whisper because this is serious and I don’t want to make her sink into the depths of her mind.
