As I close my eyes and sink to the ground in front of the barn, the image of my grandfather lying dead in a pasture, his neck broken and his eyes wide open, will forever stay in my mind.There was nothing I could do.No life-saving measures I could take to bring him back.It was instant, and while that should provide some sort of relief, it doesn’t.
All I feel is guilt.
Guilt and fucking anger.
My eyes spring open, and my gaze cuts to Tyler.His phone is still connected to his ear, and his young son clings to his leg as he cries.If it weren’t for the poor kid, we might not have known Granddaddy had even left the house, but Dash wanted to say goodnight to the horses.They weren’t in the stables for more than two minutes before they discovered my grandfather’s horse was missing.
Tyler ends the call and swipes a thumb under his eye before he pockets the phone, and glances down at his son.“Miss Judy will be here soon.When she comes, you go stay in the big house with her, and I’ll come get you when I’m done, okay?”
Dash’s lower lip quivers as he looks up at his dad, but he doesn’t say anything.With no childcare available to him, Tyler had no choice but to take Dash with him when he went in search of Granddaddy.The kid is no stranger to death.He’s spent most of his young life on this ranch, and he’s seen nature run its course with some animals, but what he saw tonight will haunt his childhood.
“I should’ve fucking been here.”
Tyler meets my gaze.“Don’t do that,” he says.“You could’ve gone to bed, and William still would’ve found a way to ride that horse.”
That’s bullshit, and he knows it.I don’t go to bed without setting the alarm on the house.He would’ve never made it past the front porch.But pointing that out won’t change shit.I pull myself to my feet and brush my hands down my thighs.I can’t bring my grandfather back, but I can sure as fuck raise some hell.
My gaze swings past Tyler, landing on the main house.When I first arrived back at the ranch, there wasn’t time to ask questions.Now, I’ve got all this anger inside of me, and there is only one person I want to unleash it on.
“Where the hell is the aide?”
“Nope, we’re not doing that either, brother,” Tyler replies.He lifts Dash into his arms and steps toward me.“That girl is a mess.After I learned the horse was missing, I went to the house.I didn’t want to jump to conclusions.She had no idea William was gone.She had just put him to bed and was cleaningyourdishes from dinner.”He sighs, pulling his hat from his head.“He pulled a fast one on her, Maddox.”
“He died on her watch,” I growl.“There should be repercussions for that.”
“And you think there won’t be?The girl won’t be able to work after this.She’s done.”He blows out a breath and drags his fingers through his hair.“Look, this is a shock, and I know you’re hurting.You want someone to blame—someone to hurt.I get it, man.But going off on that girl, tearing her down when she’s already at rock bottom, won’t make you feel better.You’re not that guy, and that’s because William raised you better.”
I suck in a breath, my eyes filling with tears.I won’t let them fall, though.For as much wisdom Granddaddy instilled in me, it doesn’t erase the scars my old man burned into me.
I can still hear him yelling at me the day my mother died.His voice so fucking clear.
Buck up, kid.Real men don’t fucking cry.
“I don’t know how to do this, man,” I rasp, my nostrils flaring as I drag in a ragged breath.“I don’t know where to even begin.”
“You should probably call your sister and let her know.I’ll wait for the Sheriff.”
Leaving Tyler to handle Granddaddy’s body doesn’t feel right, and I’m not ready to inform my sister of his death.I already know how that call will play out, and I don’t trust myself to hold it together.
The sound of gravel crunching under tires pulls my attention toward the entrance of the ranch, and I’m temporarily blinded by the high-beam headlights of Wyatt’s work truck.
“Fuck,” I grunt.“He shouldn’t be driving.”
But in my haste to get back here, I fled the bar without a word.
“He’s not,” Tyler says.“I called the bar and asked Amelia to drive them back here.Shadow shouldn’t be too far behind her with the rest of the guys.”
Before I can even process his words, the truck comes to a stop right behind mine at the top of the driveway, and Wyatt stumbles out from the passenger seat.He trips over his own feet as he rushes toward us.The jovial version of him I saw only an hour ago is nowhere in sight.
“Fuck, man, tell me it isn’t true,” he croaks, sounding more sober than he looks.When neither I nor Tyler say anything, he pulls his hat from his head and rocks back on his heels.“What can I do?”
The back doors of his truck slam shut, and Beau, Grant, and Rhett saunter over, offering their condolences and firing off one question after another.I don’t have the headspace for any of it, and Tyler must sense as much because he pulls them aside and orders them to go to the bunkhouse.
That’s when I turn and find Amelia walking straight toward me.She twirls Wyatt’s keyring around her finger and comes to a stop, keeping a good five feet between us.Lifting her chin, her gaze meets mine, and for the first time in a long time, they don’t look so vacant.
“I’m so sorry, Maddox,” she whispers.
I shove my hands into my pockets to stop myself from reaching for her.In another world, another life, she’d be my escape.The balm for the pain ripping through me.
