Worry tightened her stomach. Had she missed something? “What?”
He held her hands, bringing them up to his chest. “Before I say more, please know that I truly admire you, and you have awakened something in me I thought long dormant. Never doubt that I want this”—he glanced quickly at the bed—“but we will wait, if you think that is the wisest course.”
Judith hesitated, afraid to speak. What was he talking about?
“First, you should know that I also placed a wager on tonight, through Rory.”
Relief pushed a tiny snort from Judith. “I certainly cannot hold that against you.”
Mark fell silent, his mouth a tight line.
Her worry returned. “There’s more.”
He nodded. “Before she died, Stella bedded Shropshire.”
This time, Judith’s sense of relief was more understanding than humor, and her hands moved up to his shoulders, squeezing them. “I know.”
His eyes widened. “You do?”
Judith brushed a hand through his hair, pushing the curls from the edge of his face. “You know that kind of gossip does not stay a secret for more than a minute. My maid told me about the goings-on in her dressing room the next morning. By noon, Rotten Row was abuzz with it.”
“I swear to you I did not know before that night, or I never would have been intimate with her after she had...”
Ah. Now she understood. “But you were.”
Another nod. “The night before you and I met at that ball.”
Judith frowned as her mind ran through the passage of days. “Almost three weeks ago.”
“Yes. But if you—”
“Any symptoms?”
His eyebrows arched. “You know about—”
She pressed a palm to his cheek. “My dear gentle man. I was married to a soldier and raised his two boys. I have run a household full of randy maids and footmen, and I have birthed three boys of my own. A woman does not get to be my age and maintain the innocence of a debutante without some serious effort to remain naïve and sheltered. Even if Edmund had desired it, that is not my nature. I learned early to be blunt with our sons as their father would often shy away from discussing the risks of being off to school with friends and ambitious young women. I assume you have spoken with your doctor. So...”
Mark shook his head, then covered her hand on his cheek with his own, grasping it and turning to kiss her palm. “I find you more remarkable each time we speak.”
“Symptoms?”
“Persistent as well.” He chuckled. “None so far. And, yes, I have talked to Dr. Oakley.” His smile faded. “Which brings me to the point. He will not give me a clean bill of health for at least a month with no symptoms.”
Judith fought a rising sense of disappointment. “You wish to wait?”
“I would rather spend a year in a pillory than give this to you.”
Judith eased her hands away from his face, studying him. Mark waited, somber. Making up her mind, she slid her arms around his body, pressing her cheek to his chest, holding him tightly. She could hear his heartbeat, rapid but steady, and felt his breathing, also rapid but not so steady. “I will not put that worry on you,” she whispered. “As much as I want you”—she tilted her head to look up into his face—“as much as I want to feel you inside me, we can wait until you have that cleared from your mind.” She released him. “But I do have one favor to ask.”
“Anything.”
“May I stay the night?”
*
Mark felt everyinch of his body go still. The woman in his arms—so beautiful and tempting, so clever and willing—had eased behind every guard he had ever raised. Since he had returned from the battlefield, he had held every person, even his mother and brothers, at a carefully curated distance, mostly through humor but also physical distance and a reluctance to engage in more than casual conversation. But his desire, his admiration for Judith had made him careless.
Judith, shrewd as always, sensed his hesitation, his tension. “You would rather I not?” The confusion in her voice speared him. “But I thought... it would add to the perception that we—”
