“Wholesome.”
“Wholesome?”
I turned around, furiously wiping my tears away. “Yes. Like Captain America. Or Superman.”
He sat up and patted the bed beside him. “That sounds like something you say before you let a guy down easy. And here I thought I was pretty filthy last night.”
“You were,” I said, as flashes of assorted positions and sensations from the night before flitted through my mind. “But you were also so kind, and I ... am not.”
He looked at me as though I were off my rocker. “Of course you are.”
“No, oh no.”
The damned tears were back.
“Stella Stark, what are you talking about?”
“If you are the hero, then I am the villain. You remember the puzzle piece story I told you, don’t you?”
He laughed. “You were a child!”
I took in a deep breath. “Remember when you said your grandfather was petty?”
“Yeah, and?”
“I am Little Miss Petty. I do mean things to people. Sure, in my mind they deserve it, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m doing mean things. The other day I suggested someone bring in a sweater full of cat hair so a mansplainer, who is allergic to cats, I might add, would shut up.”
He fought a smile.
“I suggested one person use a dog whistle at night so their neighbor’s dog would bark and keep them awake.”
“What had the neighbor done, though?”
“Claim that her dogneverbarked while she was at work. In all actuality, the dog barked all day long.”
His expression was oddly neutral. “I know I haven’t known youthatlong, but I can’t see you being petty, much less mean.”
So I told him about Salcedo and what I’d done to Tanner.
“You publicly embarrassed a tool and exposed his sexist ways, probably saved Salcedo both heartache and venereal disease, but you’re the bad person here?”
“He sure seemed to think so.” Then I told Malone about the flamingos.
He snorted. “He had it coming.”
Finally, in frustration, I said, “Malone, I tried to get revenge on you.”
“What? Why?”
There. There was some anger, finally. Well, irritation, really. I wasn’t entirely certain Malone experienced the sort of bone-crushing rage that sometimes took over me.
“The Habitat for Humanity thing? I did that.”
He frowned in confusion. “But you went to the worksite and helped. You told me they must’ve knocked on my door by mistake.”
I shook my head. “No mistake. All carefully orchestrated.”
“Why?”
