Salcedo’s jaw dropped, and she laughed.
“And he mentioned that he’s read this self-help book that the lady upstairs gave me.”
“What book?” asked Havisham. Based on the straight line of her mouth, she wasn’t as ready to buy into signs from the universe.
“Daring Greatlyby Brené Brown.”
“Oh, you should totally read that,” Salcedo enthused.
“But what are the odds, right?”
“Eh, you have several other criteria he hasn’t met, and I have yet to meet my cowboy billionaire philanthropist.”
“You’re right. It’s all ridiculous,” I said.
“Come on, what can it hurt?” Salcedo asked.
“I should just be alone.”
“No one needs to stay alone forever. It goes against Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.” Salcedo tossed her last pair of underwear into the pile.
“I swear you are making some of this shit up,” Havisham said.
“Ugh, no. It was in my psychology class.”
“I do remember that one,” I said.
Havisham said nothing. Silence hung among us long enough that I could hear Betty and Jasper squabbling about whose turn it was to clean the bathrooms. We all knew Betty was going to win the argument and leave the task to Jasper, but I couldn’t grudge him his part in their evening entertainment.
“Havisham?”
She took a deep, ragged breath. “Listen, Stark. A month ago, maybe even a week ago, I would’ve agreed with you, but living alone isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Fine. I’ll keep the cat.”
“Oh, I definitely think you need to keep the cat, but maybe be open to something more?”
“First of all, it hasn’t been a year. Second, he told me he’s leaving. Ifhewere open to something more, don’t you think he would’ve mentioned that? Third, I’m not entirely sure who he is beyond having the first name Tiberius and not being Blake.”
“At least he hasn’t promised you more than he’s going to deliver?” Salcedo said in a small voice.
“Y’all aren’t all that helpful,” I said.
“Au contraire. We are helpful indeed. Where’s the tally on the car fund?”
I checked the Notes app on my phone. “Well, I’m not getting the other fifteen hundred from Trista, but I have almost four thousand down with another three thousand to go. In ... eleven days. And that’s the other reason I can’t sleep with him. I can’t afford to pay Havisham fifty dollars.”
She and Salcedo laughed. Salcedo looked up, the very devil in her eyes. “I’ll spot you the fifty dollars if you’ll spill the tea after you do the deed.”
“It’s the principle of the thing, Salcedo.”
“Three thousand dollars is doable, Stark,” Havisham said. “If I have to beat the bushes to find more patrons for you, I will, but let’s see if we can avoid any other underwear-related jobs.”
Once back at the Bel Air Apartments, I looked at Malone’s windows. Dark. I considered knocking on his door. Didn’t. Instead, I picked up Mrs. Q’s book and had a seat on the couch. My kitten soon followed.
Mrs. Q had had the audacity to circle a chapter heading about how people can’t go it alone. All her notes and highlights were for herself, but I felt reproached nonetheless. I rolled my eyes and kept reading. Eventually, I came across the chapter in which a man tells Brown that men suffer from shame, too. Even worse, according to this man, women couldn’t handle it if a man expressed raw emotion despite saying that’s what they wanted.
A lump formed in my throat as I thought about ... my father. Did shame explain why he’d done the things he had? Or hadn’t done the things he didn’t do, as the case might be.
