Obviously, Mom had never found the right person. She’d just been trying to stick square pegs into round holes. But I’d already found this special person who wanted to marry me, so maybe this was it. My big romantic moment. I couldn’t let it pass me by, now could I?
I opened my mouth to say yes, but the word wouldn’t come out. The waiters with their plates of spaghetti shifted from one foot to the other. The violinist arched an eyebrow as if to say,How many verses do you think this song has anyway?
Mitch spoke again, and I was drawn to his blue eyes. “I know we haven’t been dating long, but when you know, you know. I can’t imagine my life without you. I want you to be there when I get home. I want to make beautiful babies with you. I want to grow old with you and have matching rocking chairs.”
The matching rocking chairs did me in.
“Yes,” I whispered, the restaurant going blurry from the tears in my eyes.
The whole place erupted into applause, and when I wiped away my tears, Mitch had the biggest, most beautiful smile. He kissed me and slid the ring on my finger before taking his seat. He reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “Oh, Vivian. Let’s find one of those places with a justice of the peace and get married tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
One of the waiters cleared his throat, and we put our hands in our laps so he could put the spaghetti down on the table.
“Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives,” Mitch said as they backed away.
“Mitch, I really think I should finish my degree first, don’t you?”
“Fresh grated Parmesan cheese?” asked one of the waiters. He smirked as though he enjoyed interrupting important conversations with his cheese. Mitch waved him off, even though I would’ve loved more cheese.
He reached across the table, and my hand instinctively met his. He brought it up to his lips, and electricity ran down my arm, then crawled up my spine. “You don’t have to waste your time with such things.”
“I don’t have to waste my time with Parmesan cheese?”
“No, college! I’m going to take care of you, Vivian. Forever.”
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
At the time I’d had no intention of being a housewife, but I didn’t tell him that. I just smiled. And about an hour later, I lost my virginity and got pregnant all in the same night.
Not that I thought about that night or that failed pregnancy any more than I had to. I locked those memories away along with the other miscarriages.
I sat up straight on the couch. I had to be missing something, something that had happened in the past few years to make Mitch stop loving me.
What was it?
I want to grow old with you and have matching rocking chairs.
That’s what he said.
I’m going to take care of you, Vivian. Forever.
He said that, too.
So what was I missing? Had I done something to invalidate those promises?
Aside from my chicken salad, of course.
The metaphorical microfiche of our marriage ran through my mind in a blur. Spats here and there. PMS. Nothing bad. Not a single time where I didn’t cave to what he wanted.
Just like tonight when you didn’t stick to your guns about the bed thing. He probably thinks he’s going to slink back into the house tomorrow and do the same thing. After all, you’re over here hiding in Rachel’s house, aren’t you?
Well, maybe I needed to go home. To make sure he knew that I was watching him and to make sure he left. After all, it wasmyhouse.
I got to my feet. Of course! The house had been bought in my name with my mother as the cosigner because not only had Mitch been out of town when it came on the market, but he also had horrible credit from forgetting to pay on his college loans before we married. Mom had helped me scoop it up before anyone else discovered how deeply it had been discounted.
