"Are you coming tonight?" he asks.
My heart does something I ignore. "I'll be at Cody's tonight."
Something changes in his face. Controlled. Contained. He looks at his coffee cup. "Tonight's the night."
"Yes." I play with the baked goods in my hand, breaking them apart with no intention of taking a bite. I whisper, “He asked me for his laptop.”
Beckett goes completely still.
I inhale, scared to admit this, but I have no one else to turn to. "He was upset that I didn't have it."
"Tell him you never did."
"His dad knows I had it." I shake my head. "And I don't know who took it, so it’s not like I could get it back.” I pause, considering how much time I have left until I have to meet him tonight. There’s not enough time. “To be honest, I completely forgot about it. I was happy when it was gone."
"Just tell him you don't have it," he says carefully. "And leave it at that."
I look into his eyes.
He's warning me.
Not as a friend. Not as someone who owes me anything. As someone who knows exactly what is on that laptop and exactly what happens if I say the wrong thing.
"Okay," I say softly, considering this as my only option.
"Just that. Nothing else."
"Okay."
He looks at me for another moment. Then he stands, picking up his cup. He leans in slightly and whispers, "He's a ticking time bomb, Adela."
I hold very still.
"Don't be there when he explodes."
He straightens and walks out.
I sit at the table with the bag of baked goods and the empty coffee cup.
Don't be there when he explodes.
I pick up my bag.
I need to go home.
I walk out into the early evening, and the cold hits me hard. I shiver as I think about Beckett's warning, Theo's mouth, the laptop, and the date with Cody tonight.
I think about Sunday.
Barnes and Noble. When they open.
I hold onto that.
I get in the car and drive home. I don't let myself feel any of it until I'm in the shower with the water running hot, and then I feel all of it at once — the fear, the want, the guilt.
I turn the water hotter and mentally play out the conversation I will have with Cody tonight.
Then I stand in front of the mirror, naked, and repeat the words out loud, watching my face, practicing what it means to be theperfect girlfriend.
