I freeze.
“I don’t know them, Dad.”
“Boys like that.” He stares at me. “They’ll tell girls like you all the things you want to hear and then leave you heartbroken.”
Girls like you.That does it.
I turn to him and say, “I don’t know what you mean. My life is boring.” I place my phone on the table and slide it to him. “Check my phone. Read my texts. Look at my Instagram. Look at my locations. I take Zinnia to school, I go to class, I pick her up, I grab grocery pick-up sometimes, and then I come home. There are noboys. And therewillbe no heartbreak. You and Zinnia are all that I have.”
He has a smug look on his face as he slides my phone back. It’s like he’s happy to hear that he’s caged me completely and knows I truly have no one out there who cares about me.
He says, “I believe you, Lily, but don’t be upset that I’m trying to warn you.”
I glare at him.
I could leave tonight.
The thought hits me so suddenly, I almost say it out loud.
I could pack a bag, walk out that door, and never come back.
Then I look at Zinnia.
She’s staring at her plate, pushing spaghetti around with her fork. Her face is pale. She looks small.
And I know that I could never leave her.
After dinner, I clear the table, rinse the plates, and load the dishwasher.
My dad retreats to his room. Zinnia goes to do homework.
I stand at the front window, staring out at the street.
Are they out there?
The thought creeps in before I can stop it.
Are Jax and Zephyr sitting in a car somewhere watching the house? Are they thinking about me?
I stare aimlessly.
It’s been days, and reality hits me hard. They wouldn’t remember a girl like me. I’m not memorable. I’m not worth knowing. When I took their offer to stay the night, that was the highlight of my college experience.
I won’t experience that ever again.
I want to be okay with that.
But I’m not.
Because I want more. I want lightness. I want to laugh without worrying about who’s listening. I want to feel safe, to feel like I matter, to have the freedom to be myself without worrying if I’m going to be hit for not obeying an order.
A hand touches my shoulder, so I jump.
“Sorry.” Zinnia’s standing behind me, eyes wide. “Are you okay?”
I force a smile. “Yeah.”
She doesn’t look convinced, but she nods.
