We’re both quiet for a moment. Just breathing. Just being here together even though we’re miles apart.
“How are you really?” she asks. “Marcus mentioned you were living with some people.”
My chest tightens. “Yeah. I’m living with... friends.”
“Friends?”
I can hear the question in her voice. The knowing.
“How many friends, Lily?”
I close my eyes. Can’t lie to her. “Two.”
She pauses. “Are they good people?”
“Yes.”
“Do they know? About everything?”
“They… they saved my life. They’re helping me with Zinni.”They’re the reason I haven’t completely lost myself.
I inhale a deep shaky breath and exhale, letting the tears fall from my eyes.
Another pause. Longer this time.
“Are you happy?” she asks quietly.
The question catches me off guard. “I... I don’t know. Sometimes. I think so.”
“Damien will be put away for a very long time. You don’t have to worry anymore.”
“Mom—”
“I spent seven years with him, making myself smaller. Trying to fit what he wanted. Trying to be enough. And it was never enough.” Her voice is steady now. Firm. “Don’t do that. Don’t make yourself less for anyone.”
“I’m not. I’m trying not to.”
“Good. Because you deserve to be loved exactly as you are.”
The tears start again. “I miss you, Mom.”
“I miss you too, baby. So much. But I’m going to see you soon. For real this time.”
The automated voice cuts in, “You have one minute remaining.”
“I have to go. Take care of Zinnia. Take care of yourself. And Lily?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you. Don’t ever forget that.”
My eyes fill with tears. “I love you too.”
The line goes dead.
I sit in the car staring at my phone, tears still streaming down my face.
My mom knows. She knows and she’s not angry. She’s not disappointed.
