I stop in the doorway but don’t turn around to look at her. I can’t handle seeing her like this. “When you’re ready, you know where to find me.”
I storm off.
Fuck that.
My mom’s house is empty. Cold. Exactly what I need.
I drop my bag by the door and move to the window. The city glitters in the distance, indifferent to my pain.
My phone buzzes. A text from Zephyr.
She’s not eating. Not sleeping. You need to come back.
I delete it and scoff. It’s been one fucking afternoon. So what?
Another from Callum…
You’re a coward.
I delete that too.
Then one from Tigerlily.
I need you.
I stare at it for a long time. Watch the cursor blink. Type and delete a dozen responses.
Finally, settle on mentally replying that I need her too.
I don’t reply because the truth is, I meant what I said. She has to choose. Really choose.
And until she does, I’ll wait in this cold, empty house and hope that loving me is enough to make her let the others go.
Even though, deep in the parts of myself, I already know it won’t be.
I will never be enough for her.
Chapter Forty-Five: Zephyr
The bus to Arizona is too quiet.
Usually road trips are loud. Music blasting, guys chirping each other, cards being played in the back rows. But today everyone’s got headphones in or they’re sleeping or they’re just staring out the windows at the desert rolling past.
I’m sitting next to Callum. He’s scrolling through his phone with his jaw tight.
Three rows up, Jax sits alone by the window. Headphones on. Hood up. Hasn’t said a word to anyone since we left campus this morning.
“He’s going to ruin everything,” Callum mutters without looking up from his phone.
“Don’t.”
“I’m serious, Zeff. We have playoffs in two weeks. We can’t afford this shit.”
I glance at the back of Jax’s head. “He’s hurting.”
“I don’t give a fuck about his feelings. You don’t see us acting like assholes.”
I don’t respond because he’s not wrong. But he’s also not right.
