“Stop fighting. Just relax, and it will hurt less,” I whispered into her ear, then leaned my forehead against hers. “It’s okay.”
She shook her head while sobbing hysterically.
“Trust me. It’s okay. Just relax your body.”
“That’s a good girl. Open up for me,” Gabin praised, and I glared at him to shut the fuck up. Thank God he got the message.
Her body convulsed as she cried, “No. Not again.” While Gabin and Mael grunted, moaned, and screamed loudly, I kissed her deeply, holding her head, guiding her in that kiss while she came. Her entire body, even her lips, was shaking. She broke into a scream when Mael started fucking her. I kissed her cheek, the lining of her ear.
“Please stop!” she wailed.
Our gazes stayed locked until she finally fainted. They didn’t stop, not for a long time. The self-disgust was suffocating and bringing up bile, but I never stopped whispering how sorry I was. I hid my tears beneath her cheeks. After they were finally done, they walked deeper into the bushes while I stayed behind and apologized a thousand times more until the words became indistinguishable in my mind and I found myself apologizing to the boy I used to be, who grew up being raped every single day until I was fifteen.
Shelaythere,absent,torn apart by the demons who laughed next to a fire not too far away. The moonlight shined down on her as if she was lying on some sacred ground as its goddess. With her midnight-black hair glistening, she looked ethereal. She was so petite it was hard to believe she was seventeen or eighteen and not eleven. Except for the very high, not-so-full cheeks and long face.
What curse have you branded me with?
I kept racking my brain. There had to be something I could do for her, but there wasn’t. That little boy I used to be… he would have been unforgiving.
I got up and joined the others. The fire was as tall as me, sending off too dry of a heat, almost burning my face as I sat staring at it from a beach chair. They were smoking weed and drinking whiskey. The temptation to walk into the fire took over and erased every goddamn thought I’d ever had. Truly, I had no reason to keep living, and the realization I had turned into the exact monster who’d broken me became more unbearable every day. That night had been the heaviest. But I denied myself thesweetness of death because I had everything planned. As soon as I managed to get the big boss’s identity, I’d shoot myself dead. My victims were set to receive a short letter.
I’m so sorry for what I did to you.
I assure you, it will never happen again because I’ve killed every motherfucker who was involved in ruining you and your life, and the fact that you are receiving this letter means that list includes me too. I hope that helps you sleep better at night, knowing all your monsters are dead. I hope you can heal. You deserve so much more than what I gave you.
– Sir
All the money I’d saved would be divided evenly between them. With what I’d made, they each were set to receive two million US dollars. Not anywhere near enough. Maybe the money could help them buy a safe home, start a business, who knew. All I knew was it was the least I could do.
“Hey!” Mael yelled, and it grabbed my attention. He jutted his chin at me. “So, how was it?”
I smiled while nodding with one of my eyebrows arched. “It was fucking good. The girl knows how to suck dick. Wonder how the rest of her feels.” The worst part of what I was saying was I wasn’t lying. My instant extreme craving for her was something I’d never felt before. Too bad she was his girlfriend. In the past, I’d avoided any girl I was attracted to as a way to protect them, but this girl, she wasn’t giving me a choice at all.
He chuckled and turned his face to his friends. His thumb pointed at me while he laughed and joked to the others. “This one likes making them fall in love with him while he rapes them. Soooo romantic.” Then he turned his face back to me. “You have the skills of a caveman when it comes to girls,” he said.
His ridicule and insults fell flat to me, and I didn’t pretend to be amused. I simply stared at all three of them withoutflinching, blinking. My blank expression always made people uncomfortable.
Gabin was the first to get up.
“Where are you going?” Mael asked.
“Gotta fucking pee. Chill, man.”
I narrowed my right eye. We’d just watched him fuck her to near death, so why was he needing privacy? Also, why was he walking toward her? I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and served myself some in the cheap plastic cup they’d given me at some point.
After a long while, Sylban went after Gabin. The silence was good while we watched the fire dance with the wind then grow and flare.
“You really don’t know, do you?”
“What?”
“You don’t realize why I brought you here, with me?”
“You didn’t bring me here, Mael. I came because your father wanted me to make sure you didn’t fuck up tonight, which you have but not beyond the usual parameters. I’m assuming this girl is a nobody and you’ll let her go, right?”
He laughed maniacally, chugged the rest of his drink, then stood and threw the cup in the fire. “You really don’t fucking remember her?” he asked, standing over me, our shoes almost touching.
Swirling my cup with my left hand, I looked at him with a furrowed brow. I wasn’t appreciating how he was delivering his sentences. After gawking at him for a few seconds, my gaze dropped back to the fire.
