The boys who took out my buckets seemed much older and stronger. They always came in laughing, and would mock me by throwing kisses and calling meLittle Prince. Only after speaking to the other boy, did I understand that they all thought I’d gotten special treatment. Perhaps I had. Unclehaddrugged me for all of it, after all.
Hedidn’t come for many weeks after the rituals stopped. It was hard to quantify time he was away when I was still in shock about the things these people did to kids my age and even younger. At least I had the relief of him not touching me.
I watched the sun sweep the sky from east to west again and again and lost count of how many days had passed. Once my every step stopped feeling like I was moving a bag of bricks, I tested all the poles of my cage by trying to shake them or lift them out of their holes in the concrete. There was no moving them, so I picked two and worked on them day and night. I learned to climb them to the top and tested if I could do anything from up there. It was a way for me to exercise, to occupy myself and pass the time.
The longer he stayed away, the better I felt. Slowly, sweet memories of her sprang in my mind. They flowered in my dreams: the way she giggled when I would run after her, the silkiness of her hair and the way the sun and wind worshipped it, the smell of her, the softness of her voice, and how when she cupped my cheeks, her entire face lit up anytime she found a new freckle on mine. I hoped she still remembered all the times I told her I loved her and that she still believed me.
They say it takes a maximum of twenty-one days for two people to fall in love. The rest of the time is denial and fear.
Ihadbeenpacingthe cage like a troubled lion, waiting for him. I needed to make sure she was going to be okay.My Magdalena, my angel.It was risky and hellish what I was considering, but I had to protect her. There was no other way.
As soon as he walked through the main doors, a smile spread on his face at the sight of me. I tried to stay indifferent even though it turned my stomach upside down to see happiness on him and to know what his presence meant.
“Killian… you look amazing.” The relief on his face seemed truly genuine. It surprised and confused me that even an ounce of this man could possibly care about me, but I’d stopped myself from trying to figure him out.
“The guards have told me you’re finally putting in some effort and eating. You’ve grown so much. My God.” He admired me, approaching the cage, but instead of opening it, he walked around it while ogling my naked body. I followed him, not letting him out of my sight. Even though there was only one door, I didn’t feel safe with him behind me, walking around me like the predator he was.
“I have a request.”Did I sound indifferent enough?I should have waited longer to say the words, to not show my desperation.Yes, that’s the best I can do.
Keep your face neutral. No emotions, remember.
“Oh, sooo eager.”
Fuuuuucccccck! I’m messing this up so bad.
“Well, this is quite an interesting change. Did you forget, my little prince, that the requests come after?” He smiled, joking about raping me.
Don’t show disgust. Don’t show disgust. Neutral.
There must be a way to kill him.
I stared at him, studying him. He was so confident because I had been trapped in my grief for what seemed like an eternity, weak and imprisoned under his control, in his world and cages.
In that minute, I realized how I’d blinded him with power.Maybe there is a way out of this.Maybe I can use the confidence I’ve given him against him.He didn’t know I was learning something. If there was one thing I’d learned from my uncle, it had been to play the long game.If you let me live long enough, I will destroy you and everything you’ve ever built. Eventually, I’ll make sure that confidence becomes your demise, just like it had him.
“You don’t look very happy to see me, Killian. Youdoknow only good boys get rewarded, right?” He wanted me to adore him, and only then would I get rewarded. His words brought me out of my fantasy of killing him. I had not noticed how my hatredhad tensed my eyebrows and eyes into a glower or how my hands were in fists, itching to choke death into him.
One day, I’ll enjoy killing you.
The promise fueled me, but I needed to use it to my advantage, see if I could fool him, beat him at his own mind games. Of course, I doubted myself, but I had to try. I relaxed and put a mask on, the mask of his submissive sex slave. I knew it would take time. I had to wait for him to speak first.
“Fine. I’ll be nice. I like how you’ve been trying, after all. What’s your request?”
“I will submit to you. I’ll be yourlittleprince on one condition.” I studied his microexpressions and actions. The first thing he did was stop walking right along the outer edge of the cage. He was in front of the door, briefly squinting when his mouth formed an O, unable to hold back his chuckle and lowered his eyes to watch himself push the key in the lock, but when they snapped back to me, there was a blush on his cheeks. He stuck out his tongue to lick his lips in a circle.
I bit my lower lip and dug my overgrown nails into my palms to feel pain, to keep from stepping away from him out of fear and repulsion. This was the first time I hadn’t tried to run away, but my heart was about to explode, and it was becoming too difficult to control my breathing.Maybe this was a mistake. I should have given this more thought and planned it better. No, I can’t live another day without making sure she’s safe.He stepped into the cage, and no matter how fast my heart was drumming, I refused to move.I don’t know if I can do this.I hated that I’d stopped breathing and hoped he hadn’t noticed.
“And what’s that… my little prince? What is the condition?” he mocked, stepping so close to me his breath fanned my face. His palm lifted, and without moving my face, I mistakenly looked at it. At least I resisted flinching away from it. Only when my eyes met his, did he lower his hand to cup my face then pinch mychin. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered. Although it was extremely subtle, I could still hear the frustration rising in his voice.
I closed my eyes, unable to take anymore of him. His cologne alone intensified my nausea.God… please… forgive my sins and save her. Please. God.
“Cat got your tongue—” Then he walked a circle around me at a snail’s pace. At least when he was behind me, I could relax my face, but I felt so unsafe without him in my vision, not sure what he’d do to me.
“I want you to leave her out of all this.” The words tumbled out of my mouth at warp speed. The smile that had been plastered on his face melted into a scowl, as if the subject had been established as forbidden. His pupils focused on mine as if they were crawling into me. There was no movement, no studying. It was a glare full of anger. Despite feeling like he would punch my lights out at any second, I pleaded, “Don’t bring Magdalena Michaelson here. I want you to protect her from all this, from your friends, and especially from your son Mael.”
“Oh…” He sighed and walked away, but before he did, I caught the amusement on his face, the maliciousness in his eyes. “The apple of your eye, huh? Your little wife?” He was a few meters behind me. I suspected he knew how close we really were. His spoiled son probably whined about it to him every day for the last three years. Despite him not coming around, I didn’t turn to face him. “Why are you even thinking of her, Killian? Kind of random. Don’t you think?” His whisper carried resentment that made it more raspy than usual. He didn’t like that she’d been on my mind. If only he knew just how much.
“It doesn’t matter why… Master.” I stuck the title in to appease him, to remind him of the power he had over me, to distract him, but it was like making a deal with a snake. The silence. The venom. I had to examine every word and expression like aRubik’s Cube, from every angle. He had the upper hand. I would always lose no matter how many times I thought I was finally winning. It was the same sensation I’d had with my uncle until I killed him, and look how well that went.
