I can’t tell her.
At the entrance to the school, I stopped and leaned against the concrete wall, barely holding my body steady. My gasps for air were too loud. Students paused to look at me as they walked in pass me. I was drained beyond belief just from making her chase me. My forehead was too wet with sweat and my insides stabbed. She took her bag from my limp hand while studying my state. I knew I must have looked like death to her because that’s how I felt, as if I was dying. I was glad she didn’t mention going to the nurse’s station although this time, if she did, I would agree that’s what I needed but then I felt something had changed. “You said you’d never hurt me,” she whined in almost a whisper.
Agency took over me, widening my eyes at the pained expression on her face. She was pouting and giving me those deadly puppy eyes which were filling up with tears. Magdalena never cried about anything.What have I done? This cursed day.“And I wouldn’t.” I shook my head, blinking fast with my mouth agape at our state.
“This hurts Killian. You not trusting me hurts. I thought I was your best friend. You told me once that’s what friends do, trust each other...” She paused. “And I’m left to imagine the worst is happening to you.”
Whereas before I’d thought her spicy attitude delicious, something for me to enjoy, and not take too seriously, in that minute I felt guilty and hopeless. I embraced her.
“I’ll tell you one day. I promise on my life, I will. Just not today.” By the time I released her, I found a tear sliding down her cheek. It stabbed me that I’d done that to her.
“I’m so sorry,” I apologized as I dried her cheek with my thumb.I’ve never been this sorry about anything else in my life.
The tardy bell rung.
Ittookallfivedays to recover, but as the week moved on, the dread inside me intensified and my uncle’s words haunted me. I didn’t want the weekend to arrive. I tried and failed to keep calm so I could think about what to do.
By Friday, I just wished I could stay somewhere other than home, but I had no choice. At 11:30 p.m., the library announced they’d be closing soon, so I packed all my books in my bag and walked out. The chauffeur opened the door to the back of the limousine as soon as he saw me. The closer the car got to home, the less I could breathe.
Don’t do this.
Don’t go home.
Don’t go home.
Run away.
Go! Don’t go home.
You can still run from all this.
Runnnnn!!
When I arrived, I leaned my back on the car, staring at the mansion before me and all the ruckus of people coming in and out, the music already blasting. I still had a decision to make. I could run out of the property and leave my mother behind, which was what I’d promised her I would not do, or I could go inside and kill him. Either way, this could not continue.
I refused to move until I made the decision. They rolled their cars around the circle, disembarking in their fancy attire, and walking in. Then a six-wheellorryentered the property, but instead of stopping at the front, it rolled around to the back. Ifollowed it, keeping in mind that if someone caught me, I could always say I was headed to the kitchen to get dinner. When I arrived at the kitchen door, I looked to where the truck had parked a few meters behind me. A man opened the doors to the back of thelorry, and bare feet landed on the pavement. I couldn’t see the rest of their bodies, only their legs and feet. As the crowd on the ground grew larger, some came into my full view, naked and blindfolded, with their bodies full of scars and their wrists tied behind them. I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped me but thank God no one heard it.
I stepped into the kitchen, which was full of the staff losing its mind, cooking every food under the sun. It was so hot and crowded that no one caught my presence. The old cook always had a dish stored for me to grab, so I took what she’d left me in the fridge and hid in her sleeping quarters.
Eating a full meal for the first time in twenty-four hours was life changing. It aligned my thoughts so I could control my fear and anger. As soon as I finished the sandwich, apple, and juice, I knew what I would do. There was a high risk of failing, but I had to try; I had to start doing something. Even if I only accomplished half of it, that would be good enough.
Through the back halls designated for the servants, I went up the stairs to Mum’s bedroom. The room was empty and clean. I figured she was downstairs entertaining Uncle’s friends. Quickly, I searched her drawers and closet for her cell phone, only to find it in her purse which sat on a chair. Before leaving, I tried to make things look as tidy as before by pushing her clothes back into her drawers, and the ones that had fallen off hangers, I’d hung again. At the still-closed door, I guessed my birthday as her phone code and set it to video record.
That night, I no longer had the luxury of hiding from everything in fear. I needed to do something. The door was onlyslightly ajar, but it was enough for the camera to capture what was happening in the halls.
Male visitors, dressed in fancy black suits and masquerade masks, dragged blindfolded naked girls by silver chains attached to their black leather collars into the other bedrooms. Their wrists were still tied with ropes. I only caught a glimpse of it before shoving the phone into my side pocket and running into my bedroom.
From my desk, I grabbed the tall box of tissues I never used and cut a hole at the bottom and side and placed the phone in it so that it could record everything that happened on my bed the rest of the night. Then I returned to the kitchen which was almost empty. No one saw me grab the matches and store them in my backpack.
“Your uncle is looking for you,” the cook said in French, as if she were reprimanding me. She wasn’t as heartless as she pretended. After a few minutes of staring at each other without a response from me, she sighed and rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you go to my room and stay there the night?” she asked. “Lock the door.”
The sweat sprang from my body when his strong, deep, angry voice filled the kitchen.
“Killian!” The cook’s and my eyes opened wide, and my entire body stiffened like a wooden board. If he had stepped into the kitchen a second before, he would have heard her. It wasn’t just us freaking out. His entrance into the kitchen was rare, so all the servants froze at his presence. Even before I could turn around, he grabbed me by the back of my collar and dragged me into the halls. As he yanked at me, my eyes full of horror locked on to the cook.Help me,I mouthed. By the way her fingers tightened on the plate, I knew she wanted to help me, but there was no way she could, not unless she killed him herself.
I hardly had a chance to catch up with him before I stumbled twice. He didn’t care if he had to drag me by my neck all the way or if I gained control and walked alongside him.
At the end of the hall, he stopped at a door and dropped me like a sack of potatoes to unlock it. I’d never been through there. The halls were so narrow, and the walls were so thin muffled voices could be heard from the other side. The metal stairs were hardly wide enough for one person, so he had to climb them sideways. Each of his heavy steps thundered through the hollow hall and shook the stairs.
