She shrugged. “I’m sure they will. They still love both of you. It’s just your father’s family...” The fact that Delaney didn’t finish that sentence haunted me for weeks after. “Don’t worry, they’ll sort it out. But they have to argue about it first.”
That’s when I started noticing how my aunts would look over Mum with disapproval when she would drop me off for them to look after me.
After Uncle Roger and his bride promised themselves to each other in front of a priest in the clearing where all of Mum’s family married, I mounded so much roast beef and potato on my plate that my uncles and aunts teased me. Both families sat eating around the wooden tables lined into a giant square whilefairy lights twinkled in the twilight and music blared in the background.
The minute the warm savory beef melted on my tongue, the entire world changed. The increased energy was undeniable. My headache disappeared and I was so much more aware. The veil of ambiguity lifted. I felt as if I had missed so much because before that first bite, all I could think about was how hungry I was. I hardly remembered the wedding ceremony that had just taken place. The oil and salt and herbs made me close my eyes. “Who cooked this? It’s sooo delicious?” I asked Mum, a little too loudly, who was sitting next to me, smiling down at me as she stuffed her face too.
“I think it was Aunt March who cooked the beef and potatoes.”
“Thank you, Aunt Margie.” I shouted so she could hear me from a few seats down the row.
“You welcome, little man,” she said after bursting out giggling.
I took another bite and confirmed it was the best thing I’d ever eaten. Then I took a piece of the boiled potato bathed in butter and rosemary, and that became the best thing I’d ever known. The warmth and flavors exploded in my mouth. I wanted to eat enough to make up for all the days we’d starved, but too soon, I became full. My belly felt as if it would explode.
The satiation after had me loving and appreciating Uncle Roger ten times more. None of my uncles ever wanted to marry. I didn’t understand why. If I could find a girl who cooked likeAintinMargie, I would worship her forever. For some reason, they saw it as a duty to the family instead of something they wanted or needed. I’d never given it much thought, but this time, I was so grateful he’d sacrificed himself so I could eat.
For some reason, I couldn’t stop smiling after I finished eating. Wanting to thank him, I walked over to Uncle Roger, and he sat me on his lap. He was very tall and skinny, with slick black hair styled like Elvis Presley’s.
“Thanks for getting married, Uncle.” Between the full belly and the beer I’d stolen and drank, my eyelids were almost too heavy when I said it. Even in my sleepy state, I couldn’t erase the silly smile.
“You’re welcome,” he said, and everyone who heard the exchange laughed with him. “Are you drunk, buddy?” he whispered in my ear.
“What’s that?”
“I can smell the alcohol on your breath. Did you drink out of those cans?” Without taking his eyes from me, he angled then jutted his chin toward the spot on the table where I’d been eating and drinking.
My cheeks burned. I’d been chastised before in other weddings not to drink the beer, but it felt so good. I liked the bitter taste, the suds tingling my tongue, how the world spun a little more and how nothing mattered anymore after drinking it.
I decided to be honest with him by nodding.
“Little buddy, you can’t be drinking that stuff. It’s not good for you. Promise me you’ll never do it again.”
“I promise.” Uncle Roger didn’t know I had my fingers crossed so the promise didn’t count. Drinking that thing was the best part of all our family get-togethers, next to eating.
After dinner, the families danced ’til dawn like every celebration.
That was the first time in quite a while I’d been able to sleep soundly. It felt good to not worry about Mum’s hunger too and not to be in constant pain, but there was still the worry that she couldn’t find a new job.
Mum had taken a whole pan full of food from Uncle Roger’s wedding. For weeks, I kept checking the pan. The terror of seeing it empty made me skip every meal possible unless I was weak with a headache and the pain had become the type I’d had before the wedding—unbearable. Eventually, when it did runout, I made sure to eat as much as possible at Nana’s house, where Mum would leave me while she searched for a job.
After the hospital stay, Mum avoided taking me into town, no matter how many times I cried at Nana’s door, watching her walk away. She thought I wanted to go because of all the toy shops we used to walk by, but all that had been tainted. I didn’t want her out of my sight. I was terrified some other hater would try to hurt her again and she’d never come back to me. It didn’t help my fears that this had been the longest Da had been away.
To distract me, my older cousins picked me up from Nana’s house one day and snuck into town with me, but it wasn't to make sure Mum was okay as I’d thought, it was to read the signs on all the stores’ windows reading “No Gypsies.” Even when we passed by Mrs. Burnette’s store, and there it was, the same letters on yet another cardboard sign. I guess the beautiful decorations inside the windows had distracted me from the signs.
Through the window, I watched her talking to customers as usual, as if she hadn’t ruined my life. There was no regret on her face, no worry, and she no longer looked like a monster either. She was smiling. The customers she was talking to eventually exited the business with a smile on their faces. Then her head turned toward me and she glared at me. That’s when I realized she’d sensed my presence long before looking my way. It hurt to be hated for no reason, but it was a good lesson in how evil could look beautiful and innocent and come unexpectedly. Where had all that friendship gone?
As we walked through town, my cousins kept pointing to the cardboard signs with the same message in every single window until the hateful rhetoric was burned into my mind. We weren’t wanted. Anywhere.
“See, little buddy? This is why your mum can’t bring you to this part of town. It isn’t safe.” Down the middle of the inclinedblock, on our way out of the touristy area, my big cousin picked me up by my arms, swung me in the air, then placed me on his shoulders as he strolled away. Flying through the air was thrilling so I giggled like crazy long after I was safe on his shoulders. As if what he’d said was the most natural, simple thing in the world. One day when I reached his age, I would understand why there was so much hate and why everyone was so comfortable with its existence.
Da returned with perfect timing. We only went one night without dinner. His arrival restored the calm, happiness, and safety so I wouldn’t have to worry anymore, but his presence, like the money, didn’t last. He usually only stayed for two to three weeks working in the docks before having to go on another trip.
It began like most tragedies, with much laughter, fun, and a wedding at sunset.
In the clearing near the rapid river’s edge, surrounded by tall ancient pine trees with tips that seemed to touch the clouds, was where all our family celebrations took place. It was chilly,so a few bonfires were lit to help keep us warm. The bristés I’d been wearing to every family function were already too short, exposing my ankles to the cold breeze, but I didn’t care. I was so happy to be with my family, excited to see everybody become silly and let loose of all the worries. The only decorations were the strings of lights above the curtains of dried flowers, which hung between the thick tree trunks. It was simple, but we never needed much to be happy.
When the rays from the sun were bleeding through every branch, Cousin Lily exchanged vows with an ugly fat old guy I’d never met. The music, drinking, eating, and dancing began right after the groom kissed her. I was the youngest by almost ten years, too little to play with most of my cousins, so I stuck to the adults, specifically to Mum. It wasn’t rare for Da to be away when there was an important family function, and this one was no different.
