“Where are you taking me? The tracker.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” That’s it. That’s all he was willing to say to clarify everything.
Finally, he rushed over another rocky hill. This one was too sharp of a cliff, so we slid down the last of it. I groaned and arched, grinding my teeth. I knew the wound had reopened, but I didn’t even have time to speak before he picked me up again.
“I’m sorry. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this far out. Fuck!” He was so set on running, he wasn’t paying attention to the blood bubbling out of my wound.
“Sir—” He picked me up as if I weighed nothing, like his rag doll, and I bit my lip, trying not to make a sound, letting him get me as far away from that building as possible. I didn’t want to go back there.Please, God, please. Help us.
Every bounce was a punch to my wound. I was feeling dizzy, and the pain started to not be so bad. The world rocked chaotically all around me as he ran. I looked up at the green that surrounded us, patches of blue skies rapidly graying.
The world was so beautiful. “Sir.”
He didn’t acknowledge me, probably because he couldn’t hear me since he was panting from so much running, but also, I heard a sound. It got louder and louder.It sounded like rushing water.
I didn’t have much time. A euphoria started to take over. At least I wasn’t dying in that awful place. At least I was out there with him, in his arms, and once again, he was trying to save me.
The frozen snow underneath my body woke me. On my right was a river rapid going raging at full force. The water was so loud. I loved the sound. It flushed out everything else.
“Fuck! You’re bleeding bad! Goddamnit!” he screamed, and walked in circles, trying to catch his breath.
“Sir. It-it’s okay.”
“No, it’s fucking not! You are not gonna die on me today! Do you hear me? I fucking forbid it! Don’t you fucking dare!” He yelled at me. If it would have been anything else, I would have done it strictly because of how angry he looked, his eyes glaring at me, his mouth tense, his eyebrows furrowed and trembling with rage, and his fists closed tight.
I smiled like a fool, then offered him my bloody hand. “As much as I’d love to obey that command, I don’t think I can… I-it’s okay.” I nodded. “I forgive you.”
“Shut the fuck up, Magdalena. No you fucking don’t. Fuck you for saying that. Fuck you and your forgiveness.” There was a choking to the last word. It almost appeared as if he was about to cry but I knew that was just me and my delusions wanting him to love me.Stupid Magdalena.
I had to gather the last of my strength to whisper the next words since most of my energy was going to the horrible painful quaking my body insisted on doing. “I do. I know you tried. I know…” The pain stabbed so deep it stole my breath. I closed my eyes tight trying to withstand the agony and winced while grinding my teeth.Goddamnit, I have to tell him.The world was rolling when I opened my eyes. Suddenly there were several of him in my vision. The tears blurred him from me.God, it hurts.
“Here, sit up. If we’re going to die, we’re gonna die trying. And you can forgive me in fucking hell.” He yanked me, and my shriek echoed through the forest. I heard the wings of birds flapping as they flew out of the branches above us. What the hell was he doing? He wrapped the big black backpack he’d had on his shoulders onto mine, clicking it closed around my belly.
“Wh-what are you doing?” I whispered.
“We’re gonna jump, but if for some reason I don’t make it and you do, don’t you dare let anyone take this bag, do youunderstandme?” He yelled the last four words.
I nodded. “Sir. Wait—what do you mean? Jump?”
“Can you stand?”
“Probably … not…”
He helped me, and we held on to each other. “Don’t let go, Little One.” We stared into each other’s eyes, but his looked… different. He cupped my cheek. “Did you hear what I said? Don’t ever let me go.” One was greener than the other.Why?
Sir pulled me a little more toward the edge of the rushing water. There was no way he could survive that water, the current alone would kill him, and then the temperature. There was just no way. And a vision struck my mind. It was that dreadful thing in the basement of the building. They’d tried to drown me so many times. “Wait. Water. I-I can’t. I’m gonna drown again. No!”
As soon as he noticed my panic rising, he heaved us. It was maybe six feet before the cold water froze me, and three seconds before we were both submerged under the rapids. The current pushed us so fast we didn’t even have time to come up for air before we were far from where we’d jumped. I held onto his hand as hard as I could. He was choking mine and hanging on to the backpack as well.
I tried to move my legs, but it was so cold. There was no heat left in my body. The water was moving so fast I couldn’t see him, but I could feel him. Within seconds, his grip on me was not as strong. I squeezed, but he didn’t respond. When the current took a curve, he let go of my backpack. I reached for him but couldn’t grasp him.
He was gone.
I tried kicking and swimming, turning, but I couldn’t see him. And then my body was swept over a cliff. It was a long way down, and when I hit the water again, it kept pulling me under.
Something kept pushing me down into the deep, it dragged me no matter which way I tried to swim.
It figured I would drown to death.
As I accepted my fate and a calm took over me, I remembered the building burning, pieces of it falling apart and sections of it exploding, seeing the smoke even when we appeared to be far away. And then I remembered something from a long time ago…
We were in the school yard, sitting on the bench, with birds chirping on the branches of the tree above us. We had just beenjoking about something, and although I was giggling, there was a serious expression on Killian’s face. He was taking in my mannerisms with fascination. It always made me feel like the most special girl in the world. “I would, you know.”
“Would what?”
“Burn everything down for you.”
