“I love the freckles in your eyes and on your cheeks. May I count them?”
“Yes.”
“One… two… three… Seven on this cheek.” I pointed to each as I counted while he studied me.
He’s so handsome.
“Twelve on that side. And you have three lined up in a row like the constellation of the three kings. Why don’t you ever have food for lunch?”
He shrugged. “I don’t prepare any.”
“Doesn’t your mommy make some for you?—”
“Magdalena,” Bessie called from the bigger field where everyone was playing. I turned my attention toward her. “Come play with us,” she added. I waved at her, dismissing the plea.
“Thanks for letting me count your freckles,” I said, standing, not wanting to leave the only person outside my family who had ever made me feel comfortable and beautiful.
“You’ll have to check if I have more tomorrow.” Tomorrow? He’d like me to join him again? A river of happiness flowed through my existence until it burst out of me in a brief, ridiculous giggle that I had to cover with both hands. “Don’t cover your smile.”
“You’ll have more?” I asked.
He shrugged. “You never know.” I narrowed my eyes at him. How menacing to have me anticipating new freckles on him, but also how romantic that he longed for more of my company.
Just like that, life changed.
It had been the first time I fell asleep happy and excited for the next day; the first time I wanted to go to school; the first time life made sense and held value. The other kids, they didn’t matter.All the pretending was gone because somehow, I knew Killian was my true friend, my true home.
3. We Need Dragons
MAGDALENA
The very first thing I wanted to do every day after was check his beautiful face for new freckles. So, in the mornings, after I made sure Dad was gone, I’d walk over to Killian, always sitting on the banister, and count. It became a little bit of a game between us. I knew he wouldn’t grow a bunch of freckles overnight, but the consistency itself grew to be comforting. While everything else around the world and inside our bodies changed, at least the count, like our friendship, was consistent.
I even asked Daddy to drop me off early. The first time, when my steps covered twice the distance at twice the speed than usual, he asked why I was in such a rush, but I didn’t answer.
On the third day, Killian was not at the banister when I arrived. My heart dropped and an exhaustion took over every cell in my body. “You okay, angel?” Dad asked.
I nodded. “Yes. I’m fine.”
“Okay, well, then, bye.”
“Bye, Dad.” We hugged and I held on for a little longer than usual before walking away.
I couldn’t hide my sadness. It was too overwhelming. The difference in my energy should have been a sounding alarm, a warning, but I was too young to even know what was happening.
Slowly, I walked to class, slumped onto my chair, then crossed my arms on the desk and laid my head on them while regretting not going back home. The loneliness consumed me. I should have told Daddy I didn’t feel well.
“Morning, Magdalena.” The whisper and air tickled my ear. The exhilaration traveled through me at the speed of light. When I lifted my head, I looked at him with wide eyes. “Is everything okay?” he asked.
“Where—I mean. You’re late.” I couldn’t believe how easy it’d become to breathe.
“Oh yeah. Had a hard time waking up this morning.” He smiled and thrusted his chin at me. “You, okay?”
“Yeah. I’m okay.” I hoped I’d hidden my relief well at him showing up.
The rest of the class was chatting, but when our eyes met, it was like every other day—as if nothing else existed. I loved that feeling. For a few seconds, I couldn’t pick whether I should swim in the infinite dark amber with black speckled galaxies of his brown eye or fly in the clear skies of his blue one. My gaze dropped to his freckles, which drew my smile, and I counted them in my head. The possibility of him having new ones made me anticipate it even more, like a grand event I was awaiting.
“Hi,” he greeted with a smile, as if we were starting the day all over again. We leaned forward, our faces mere inches apart.
