“Pain.”
Thank you, Killian.I wondered what terrible things Killian had endured so early in life. What taught him that life wasn’t always worth living? Death was my only escape, freedom, and comfort.Oh, Killian…I couldn’t remember what we said next, or what we did, and the loss of that yanked a violent, unstoppable weeping from me. I searched for the memory, and like his ring, I couldn’t find it. They’d taken everything from me. It didn’t help to have lost the last thing I’d had of him.
“Oh. There you are,” Gabin greeted, coming from my right and stopping at my feet to face me head-on. The terror stiffened and quaked me, intensifying the pain in my muscles. I hated myself for being so weak that I could hear my breath shaking. “You like this spot? We can have our own secret fun time here. Mael likes getting high after fucking, so he doesn’t have to know. Are you ready for another round, little darling? I want to feel you come while I fuck your ass again, see you faint again from how hard you come. That was spectacular. It won’t hurt as much this time.” He gripped the tent through his pants and bit on his lower lip while grunting. “Look what I brought you.” His eyes blinked slowly.
Killian’s ring swung in the air, the diamond twinkling when a little of the firelight and moonlight hit it. My eyes followed it asthey filled with tears. I needed it back. It was the only thing I had of him.
I hid the hand holding the knife and stayed silent. He started unbuttoning his pants, and my heart raced.Not again. Please, God, not again.The horror made my stomach hurt, and nausea rolled through me, the disgust overwhelming. I held on to the knife for dear life, letting the sharp edge cut my thumb so I’d feel something other than fear.
I licked my lips, and he laughed, probably thinking I did it unconsciously.
Men were so stupid.
He left his pants on the ground and walked to me with the necklace still hanging from his fingers, swinging it from side to side as if he were hypnotizing me. “Is that your way of telling me you’d rather suck it, Maggie, dear?” With his dick bobbing, he stepped forward until it hit my face a few times. Like a drunk, he laughed when I turned my face away from it. I raised my other hand to grab the ring. “Nah-ah-ah. I require something before I give you this gift.” He bent his knees a little, leaning with one hand on the tree trunk behind me. “Well, come on now. We don’t have all morning before he starts searching for you.”
Then I stabbed his balls, screaming as loud as I could to cover the sounds of anguish coming from him, but I didn’t stop yanking the knife out and stabbing him again. They’d come thinking he was hurting me, not suspecting it was my turn. He grabbed my hair, slamming the back of my head against the tree trunk several times, but instead of stopping, I tightened my hold on the knife and stabbed him a few times more. I had to make sure his balls were destroyed. I had to ensure that if he survived this, he’d never ever have any children. He had to die. It was the only way I’d be sure he’d never hurt me or anyone else again.
He fell to his knees, holding his dick, blood pouring like a waterfall, wetting his palms, as he let out hysterical roars. Thering fell to the dirt beside me. Then I stabbed him in the throat where it dipped, right between the hyoid bone and Adam’s apple. He choked and his eyes bulged. The blood sprayed over my face, neck, and chest, then gushed out, so thick and hot. He convulsed and stared at me with wide eyes, trying to breathe.
I pushed the knife in and pulled it out over and over because the penetration felt so good.
It was the only thing that had felt good since Killian disappeared.
I didn’t know if it was my hysteria, but a smile refused to release the corners of my lips. I wanted more of the thick, hot blood to wet my already slippery hands, so I stopped stabbing him, then plunged two of my fingers into the wound. “Do you like the way I finger your throat, dear? Oh… you’re too tight. It must hurt. Here, let me help you.” I stabbed at the same spot again and again, harder, expanding the hole so I could use all four of my fingers.
It started as a fake laugh, but it overtook me. The warmth, the wetness, the squeezing of my fingers in his throat felt good. “Tell me, dear, do you like it? You feel sooo good.”
“Gabin?” they yelled, searching for us. I put Killian’s ring where it belonged, on my finger, and finally pushed Gabin away from me. He fell to the ground, taking his last gasps.I was busy studying the contrasting beauty of Killian’s diamond against the bright-red blood.
Struggling to stand, I leaned on the tree, then dragged my feet toward the parking lot in a semi-zombie state, humming, “This Little Light of Mine.” It was the song Mommy often sang to me when I had trouble sleeping.
I’d always wondered how people lived with so many emotions. Mael had shown me there wasn’t much to like about feeling them. It didn’t matter, they’d kill me soon, and then I’d be free. I wouldn’t have to pretend anymore. I wondered howmany girls had died there. How many had wanted to end it all after surviving this hell?
As the bright moon lit my path, the numbness crept over me.Why? Why now?Nothing mattered anymore, it never did; nothing excepthim, but now, there was no reason to hide my truth, who I truly was. Even if I hadn’t been born like this, callous, there was something people didn’t know about suicidal girls. The only thing we feared was having to continue living. So, when cold hands gripped my shoulders from behind and turned me with all force, I didn’t resist.
“You stupid fucking bitch! He was my best friend! You killed my best friend!” Sylban yelled. His fist came toward my face, but he didn’t see the knife in my hand flying at his throat. It penetrated him in exactly the same place it had his lovely friend, but this time, I didn’t hesitate. I pushed it as hard and deep as I could.Yes. Shut the fuck up. I have a headache, thanks to you.He choked, reaching for the knife, but I pulled it free before he could grab it.
Daddy gave me that knife. I was done with people taking the treasures Daddy and Killian had given me.
They were mine.
I smiled at how his eyes bulged, showing his shock. Men thought that because they could rape us, we were weak. That was an advantage; they’d never see me coming. Men… always underestimated us.
I didn’t know why, but I hated Sylban more than the others, almost more than Mael. I wondered about it as I stabbed his throat again and again, not allowing him to make a sound. It wasn’t long before he collapsed too.
Silence was my only friend.
I lay next to his convulsing, dying body, running my hand along his wound until it was dripping wet with his blood, then smeared it on my nose, mouth, and neck and waited for myPrince Charming like the good girl I was. The thought made me giggle, but then I focused and ended it. Where could Mael be? Why wasn’t he here?Come out, come out, wherever you are, my little prince.I resisted laughing and stared at the stars. It was a perfect night to kill and die. “Are you dead yet?” I elbowed Sylban and listened. He’d stopped breathing, so I dragged his heavy body over mine and faked my cries, wailing loudly.
I guess I wasn’t operating on normal time. The seconds seemed like hours. When I heard footsteps running toward us, I acted out how they’d choked. I convulsed with bulging eyes, looking desperate with my hand on my throat.
“Magdalena!” Mael yelled, hysterical, meeting my gaze. I guess he saw the blood on my face. “Oh no. Magdalena. No. Please! No!” he yelled louder as he got closer, then kneeled by my head. Mael pushed Sylban off me. “Get off her!” His scream was full of anger. Luckily, it blinded him long enough for me to slice his stomach before he pulled at the knife by the blade. I refused to release it. He gasped, then shook his head while glaring at me. “Tsk tsk tsk. Naughty, naughty, little whore.” I hated that his facial expression, voice, and words converted me back into the perfect victim by terrifying any logical thought out of my brains. The self-disgust was palpable.
Blood bubbled from his palm but still he wouldn’t let go. How the fuck did he have this much strength after I sliced his stomach? “You thought it would be that easy to kill me? Did you forget what I told you earlier? I know you.”
Did I not get him? How was he okay? It seemed like superhuman strength. Was it a drug? “You think you’re going to get away from me because of a mild cut on my stomach or my hand? You’re mine, Magdalena.” He sounded exactly like what he was, a psychotic monster.
As he slowly drained me of my strength, gaining more and more control of the knife, I shook my head. “No… No…” Notagain.Numb. Stay numb.Please don’t leave me.I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to be his victim again. I couldn’t. He pulled hard enough for me to lose my grip on the knife and fall back.
