I made a fist and tried to hit him, to push him away. Control over my body was returning too slowly and late. “No—!” I needed it to stop.Please stop!My efforts were too weak. “No!” Mael pinned my wrists into the dirt.
I was in the pit of hell, screaming, arching, trying to move away from the hot pain, the ripping apart of my insides was indescribable. I just wanted to die.
God, please, if you exist, let me die. Someone help me. Please help me.I couldn’t believe that out of the whole group, not one of them had enough empathy to stop him. One of them didn’t seem as enthusiastic as the others. He stood a few yards behind the cheering crowd. Sometimes, he gained the balls to look in my eyes, but for the most part, he didn’t seem to be enjoying the show. He wasn’t cheering Mael on for every fuck.
It hurt too much. I couldn’t stop myself from wailing, sobbing, begging. “Please, stop. You’re hurting me. Please.” I didn’t look at the crowd to see who was jerking off to the sounds of my anguish.
Mael groaned and moaned, sounding more and more helpless as he pounded into me. Drops of sweat fell from his temple to me. “Fuck! She feels so fucking good. So good,” he repeated while ignoring how hard I was fighting him, how much I was weeping, screaming.
I tried not to listen, not to feel it: the pain, the disgust, the humiliation. Where was all the numbness I’d been feeling all my life? Where was it? I needed it now. I searched for it in my mind, but it was gone. Instead, I was raw, feeling the agony in everyparticle of my being in every form.God, please.Every thrust was a punch to my belly, a ripping of my walls.
It is just a very bad dream. This is not happening. It’s not happening.
I couldn’t disconnect. It was too real. Itwashappening.Having no other choice but to accept, reality crushed me.
“No!”
His chest heaved, his eyes rolling as his hips swung into me again and again and again. It was taking forever.Please stop. Please finish. I needed it to stop.
When his dick spurted hot cum inside me, it almost burned. It was so disgusting. I gagged, needing to vomit so badly I turned my face to the side. His dick kept engorging, overstretching my torn insides, tearing down more of me, breaking me while his fingers dug into the skin at my wrist, cutting circulation from them.
I thought I would feel better once he finished, but then I was free to think, to feel what he’d done, to face it. There was nothing I’d ever wanted to avoid more than this reality.
I was broken, disgusting. No one would ever love me like this. I was used up, worthless, dirty, so so dirty.
His cum slipped out of me, and I heaved, turning to the side. I’d always been afraid to be unmasked, and Mael had unmasked me and found something worse than what even I had expected. I’d shattered so easily. I had thought myself strong, even evil, but I was worse than nothing. I was weak. I could have avoided this. Why didn’t I fight?
No. It didn’t happen. It didn’t. When I blinked open my eyes again, I wasn’t really there. I knew it hadn’t been a bad dream. My mind was chaos, and my body was disgusting, too weak and in too much pain but vapid at the same time. Yet I could still feelhim thrusting into me, tearing me apart. Inside, a billion cuts throbbed and bled with every pulse.
In the meantime, they were watching the video, talking, joking, but I couldn’t move or even hear them right. Their voices were muffled. I was left on the ground like a piece of garbage.
The disconnect came too late. Why? I tried so hard to forget, but I couldn’t stop feeling him inside me and the bruises he left on my wrists.It never happened. It didn’t happen.I was broken, dirty, and wished to die.
It had been so long since I’d sensed anything real, years since the numbness took over me. But nothing had ever been as tangible as what he’d just done. Even though I tried to run away from it, the details attacked my mind; things I hadn’t noticed as it was happening overwhelmed me after. The nauseating way he grunted. The disgusting big drops of sweat falling from his temples onto my dress. The puffs of his breath that swept my ear as he thrusted into me. The crunching sound the dried leaves made beneath me with every movement. They were so loud. The smell of him. God. If I could scratch it off me, I would. Even though his dick was gone, the throbbing pain was undeniable. The inside of my pussy had been scratched as if some monster clawed and tore out pieces of me.
It was too real. I wanted to escape it, but it was too real. It kept replaying over and over.She feels so good.I didn’t know if I was here or there. Was I really screaming again?No, don’t scream. Don’t scream!They were laughing at me. What was I saying? “Kill me! Kill me!”
The sting from the slap across my face woke me from the psychotic break, bringing me back. Mael was kneeling next to me, staring at my face, studying me, daring me to scream again. The others laughed like hyenas.
“Please. Please,” I whispered to him while sobbing and shaking. “Please…” I repeated, begging him. “Please, Mael.Please.” Was this real? Was my palm really cupping his cheek while my eyes overfilled with tears, imploring for the only thing that could ever fix me? His eyes flutter closed at my touch. He leaned into my palm as if no one had ever shown him any affection. He soaked it into himself, smiling.
Please. Kill me.Would he grant me such mercy?
Mael lowered his face and whispered in my ear. “I don’t want you to die, darling. You’re not like the others.” He paused. “You know what I want. Give it to me. If you tell me that you’re mine, right now, I won’t let them touch you. You just have to say it. Just one word.” My nausea intensified at the thought of being his after what he’d done to me. They were just words, words that could save me from this hell, but I couldn’t pronounce them, no matter how much I tried.
I belonged to one person, and he would’ve never done this.
As he lifted his head, straightening himself into sitting on his haunches, we stared at each other. My vision of him blurred because of the tears filling my eyes.
Within seconds, his friend kneeled next to my face with his hard dick exposed. He pinned my temple to the dirt, almost crushing my skull. My hair, temple, and cheek rubbed against the dirt as I tried to pull away. I fought him, scratching and pushing at his forearm, while a piercing scream rolled out of me, echoing through the trees. My throat hurt after.
“She’s like a wild cat, Mael.”
I was fully aware again. Completely present, hearing, seeing, and feeling everything. Was it the adrenaline? Mael grabbed my wrists and pinned me down again so his friend could do whatever he wanted without me fighting him. The guy with the phone, Gabin, walked around us to stand by my head. The bright light blinded me.
The tip of a penis hit my lip as he jerked it. His juices tasted disgusting, salty and bitter. My sweat and tears wet the dirt under my temple, muddying my face.
“You bite me, I’ll knock every tooth out of your mouth. I’ll make you suffer more than you can ever imagine.” He pinched my nose and pushed his dick to the back of my throat. Vomit rose immediately, but he pulled almost all the way out, then pushed in again. My throat burned.
