“I sometimes wonder if they’ll ever accept I’m not that bullied kid anymore. They assume that because I still struggle being aroundsomepeople that I can’t cope with being around anyone.”
“You had to get away, so you could be yourself.”
“Exactly. Even today, when I go home, my mother still raves about ‘her poor boy.’ It makes me crazy, and if I try to say anything about it . . .” He shrugged.
“She’s crushed.”
“Exactly, with tears and everything. I admire my father for being able to live with someone who’s so emotionally fragile. I sometimes wonder if she’s made my stutter worse.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ididstruggle in school, and the kids made fun of me. When I was younger, she’d come flying in to protect and rescue me, and it drew attention to my problem. It’s definitely what brought me to the attention of some mean g-g—” Ezreal broke off and took a deep breath. “Sorry. It’s not you this time.”
“Oh, myword.” Sara shifted in the seat so she could look directly at him. “I got so used to you talking through Janna that I didn’t even notice.”
“It happens like that sometimes. I can’t talk to someone without stuttering, and then suddenly I can.” His ears had gone pink again. “It’s like my brain decides they can be trusted.”
Sara’s eyes stung. She’d never met anyone before whose trust manifested itself so overtly. Her gut told her he wasn’t just saying that to win her sympathy. How had she earned such a cherished gift as his trust? Her chest went tight, wishing she could reciprocate.
“Talking about your mother brings it on?” she asked.
“Sometimes.”
“Because she loved you too much?”
“Because once I reached junior high, she did a complete turnaround. After setting me up to be made fun of, she stopped jumping in to rescue me and left it to my father. When I’d come home bruised, he’d tell me to buck up.” Ezreal let out another breath. “I think I’ve mentioned this already, but that’s when I refused to go to school. I was finally able to convince my father to let me enroll in online classes, and it was better. I don’t mean to sound like a whiner; I really believe she thought she was helping me. But I wasn’t prepared.”
“I’m so sorry.” Sara reached over and covered his hand that was gripping the gear shift, his ears flushing pink again at the touch. She pulled back her hand. “I wonder what brought on the change. Did your father take on the tough love approach at the same time?”
“Oh, he’d always been like that.”
“I wonder if he put pressure on your mother then.” That was what her father had always done.
“Could be.” Ezreal rubbed his chin, thoughtful. He hadn’t considered it before, but she was probably right. Considering how overly watchful his mother had been, it must have killed her to not step in.
“I’m worried about being a helicopter parent with Brand.”
“Just don’t be like my mother, hot then cold.” Ezreal glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “He’s seeing a therapist to help him with his motor skills, right?”
“Of course.”
“Make sure you have a good one. Don’t coddle him but don’t be insensitive either. I know it’s a tough balance, but it’s an important one to find. Every kid’s different.”
Ezreal merged into traffic and had to give his attention to driving. Sara considered what he’d said. His experience with the two extremes made her wonder about the balance he spoke of. She planned to talk to Brand’s kindergarten teacher when he started school about a process for addressing the developmental diversity of the children. Her son wouldn’t be the only one with some challenges. But what if doing that just brought attention to his differences and turned him into a target? Somehow, she had to find a way to help her son live up to his potential.
Ezreal parked in front of a decorating store. He hopped out and hurried around to her side of the car to open the door. His behavior reminded her again of how Francie’s husband treated her. It wasn’t something Sara was used to herself. She found she liked it. A lot.
They spent the afternoon going from shop to shop, checking out rolls of wallpaper and looking through dozens of catalogs. Sara didn’t find anything that was quite right.
“I’m sorry,” she said as they walked back to the SUV for what seemed like the dozenth time. “This was a waste of your time.”
“No it wasn’t.” Ezreal opened her door. “I enjoyed your company. Besides, sometimes it’s a process of elimination. Now you know what youdon’twant. That’s something you didn’t know before. We can search online, but I’d really like to have Darius come check out your room and make some suggestions.”
“I don’t want to inconvenience him too.”
“I think he’d enjoy working on something different.” Ezreal covered her hand, and a tingly warmth ran up her arm. “I’m sure he’d enjoy a change from what he usually works on. I promise.”
“All right. If you say so.” Sara struggled to keep her breathing steady. “Francie texted and invited us to dinner there if you’d like to come too.”
“I’d like to, but I have plans already. Maybe another time.”
“Yes. Maybe another time.”
Sara hoped by the time she reached the B&B that her hands weren’t shaking anymore. What other plans did he have? Did he have a girlfriend? Maybe Ahri would know.
