“Dreams of the future, I’m sure.” Ellen gave her a quick hug. “Gareth asked me to give you his apologies. He has several appointments today that he cannot put off any longer but will return in time to dress for the party. You need not fear about the work on the village. The servants all know what to do, so none of us are needed today. I will have some nuncheon sent up to you. If you feel well enough later, I would love for your help with the flower arrangements.” Without waiting for a response, her ladyship left.
Reese sighed and exchanged glances with Lulu, but the maid said nothing. If not for the dinner party, Reese would have left for Twickenham that morning.
“We’ll need to pack my things today,” she said. “After the dinner, I’m going back to Nellie’s.” Since the Earl had taken back his responsibility, Reese would leave Kellworth and never see Ellen or Gareth again. Reese’s eyes burned, and she closed them.
“Are you sure, miss?” Lulu asked, her voice soft. “You can stay in this time. Others have.”
Reese shook her head.
“The Quality do not expect love matches.” The maid ran a brush through Reese’s hair. “I knew his lordship when he was younger, and he was a good man. Lady Ellen speaks truth that you have freed him to be that man again. You do not wish to set him back again, do you?”
Still weary but now irritated, Reese straightened. “I will never marry a man just because people think I should. And I won’t treat the Earl like he’s one of my projects.”
“If you leave, he might become the project of a very different kind of woman.”
“Don’t talk about him like he’s an idiot,” Reese said. “How can I marry the Earl when I’m in love with the actor? Gareth deserves better.”
While Lulu worked on her hair, Reese watched her reflection. So, she would run away.Again. All last night she had thought about her life. For her projects, she never backed down. Yet, for herself, she always ran away. It seemed to be her solution for everything.
She’d run away from her lonely home to Kaitlyn’s happy family. Reese had run away from her desire to meet her father and ask why he had abandoned her. She had used it like a shield to protect herself from being rebuffed again. When Jem hadn’t called her two years ago, she’d almost calledhim. But, like with her father, she hadn’t had the strength to face Jem’s rejection.
***
“Do I look good enough to compete with the Earl?” Jem asked Geoffrey.
“You have the proper air about you now, Mr. Jem, if that is something Miss Clarisse likes about his lordship.” Geoffrey gave him a considering look. “The Earl is in his thirty-and-fifth year, and many ladies prefer the maturity of an older man, who has more experience and can guide her.”
Jem choked out a laugh. “If that’s the kind of woman Kellworth is looking for, Reese is not the girl for him.”
“True. True.” Geoffrey rubbed his chin, thinking. “But an older man is established and can provide for a wife and children, which the Earl can do.” The valet sent him a shrewd look. “Can you?”
Jem let out a deep breath. There was no way he could explain to the man how vastly different a modern woman’s expectations were from those of this time—or of their capabilities. He couldn’t imagine Reese sitting back meekly and letting her husband tell her what to do and think, how tobe. She would never be any man’s trophy wife. She would be a partner, every step of the way through life.
He wondered when his feelings toward her had changed from friendship. From their first meeting, there’d been connection. Had he been right earlier when he’d said he’d loved her since he was twelve? Or had it been when she was being Miss Bossypants that first summer Kaitlyn had invited Reese over and she’d become a fixture at his home? Or maybe later, when he, Cyrus, Kaitlyn, and Reese had done everything together until he and Cyrus had graduated from high school?
All through high school and college and then on the tour, Jem had dated lots of different women. He’d had a couple of short relationships but none had lasted. Only now, looking back at it with new insight, did he understand that none of those women had stood a chance with him because they weren’t Reese.
“You also have something the Earl does not, Mr. Jem—a long-standing friendship with Miss Clarisse,” Geoffrey said. “She holds you in great affection.”
Jem spun around. “How do you know she holds me in great affection?”
“Because her entire countenance changes whenever you are in the same room together.” Geoffrey reached up to tweak Jem’s cravat. “She tries to hide it, but she cannot.”
Kellworth had found a way to get her to hug him. Had he also found a way to make her light up?
“I’m about to step into the most important role of my life,” Jem said. “Wish me good luck.”
Geoffrey frowned. “I wonder if perhaps that is where you have gone wrong with Miss Clarisse, sir.”
“What do you mean?”
“Is a role not a false personality an actor wears on stage, pretending to be someone he’s not?”
“I guess.” Jem had never thought about it that way before.
“Perhaps that is what Miss Clarisse does not trust.” The valet kept the contemplative expression but nodded his head. “Aye. She knows you well, but does she know when you are pretending and when you are not?”
“Wow. That’s kind of profound. Excellent question, Geoffrey. I thought I’ve always been myself with her. That’s one of the things I’ve loved about spending time with her, beingmyself. I thought she knew that.” Jem gave his reflection one more glance. “I guess it’s about time for me to go woo my lady.”
