How she’d missed him. With eyes that burned and a lump lodged in her throat, Reese’s first inclination was to run to him. She stopped herself before she took a step. For the first time, she understood why women in books took leaps of faith. But Reese was no book heroine, about to do something that made her too stupid to live.
Her second inclination was to turn her back on him. Jem had been her friend, though, and she would not cut him like she had Sir Slimy.Jane and Bingley. Reese could do this.
She put on a fake smile, gave him a nod, and strode toward him—and the wagon where the workers were loading up the tools.
Jem’s expression, which had been wary, lit up as she approached. He grinned and urged his horse forward.
“Hello, cousin.” She whispered to Lulu, “Stay with me, no matter what.”
“Aye, miss. I intend to.”
“Hey.” He dismounted and took a step toward her. “Looks like you’ve found a project to work on while we’re here.”
“Yes.” She kept her voice cool but not cold as she glanced around and surveyed the work that had been done that day. “What brings you here?”
“You,” Jem said simply.
A panicky feeling nearly overwhelmed her for a second. She wanted this, wanted Jem. To hear sweet words from him that matched the tender look on his face would be the fulfillment of dreams she’d carried with her for years. But behind it all was the memory of the growing sense of loss she’d felt as day after day had passed with no word from him. Knowing he planned to leave, she refused to set herself up to live through it again.
“Sorry. I haven’t the time. I have to get back to Ellen. She’s expecting company.” Reese moved away from him, toward the wagon.
He reached out to stop her, but she jerked back her arm. Reese had almost missed the movement because of her hat brim. Lulu stepped between them.
“It’s been nice seeing you,” Reese said over her shoulder. Jem’s expression had fallen, his shoulders slumped. Boy, was he good. It took all her force of will not to reach out to him. She clenched her fist and pinned it at her side. “Tell Kate I said ‘hi’ and hope she’s been having fun.”
Reese turned and went to the wagon. “Help me up,” she hissed to the footman who jumped to help her.
“Make haste,” Lulu said.
Reese’s lips trembled as they drove by Jem and the gray, leaving him standing in the rain.
***
Jem watched Reese leave. She had been glad when she’d first recognized him; he’d seen it in her eyes, the curve of her mouth. The change in her expression had marked when the wall had come crashing between them again.
Then he remembered the feel of her arms around him in the library, the way she’d run her hands through his hair, the feel of her lips on his. Reese had no guile in her. If she could kiss him like that, it meant something to her. What could possibly have changed between the time of them stealing touches to her stealing away from him with barely a note?
Did it have something to do with Ellen staying the night? Ever since the girl had first mentioned her brother, Jem’s gut had told him this Earl might be the other option. Had Ellen talked up her brother’s virtues during the sleepover? Was what he had to offer enough to keep Reese here?
Jem’s stomach went sour. She hated this time period, loathed the position of women in this society, and feared illnesses. Money and status would never draw her. He glanced around at the little village and the last of the wagons of workers pulling away. If the Earl offered her a chance to improve the lives of people like these, Jem’s instincts told him that might be the right lure.
He would have to watch how things played out, which meant he had to find a way to be here. It was time to visit the kitchens and work on his servant accent.
***
The ride back to Kellworth was quiet. It took a while before Reese had control of herself not to burst out crying. She was in bad shape if just seeing Jem could do this to her.
She had to focus on what she had control over at the moment. The cottiers. She reviewed the mental list she’d made of the few foods that made up the majority of the cottier’s meals: bread, butter when they could get it, potatoes, beer, and tea. Sometimes a family was able to get their hands on some bacon, but that was not often and no one in the village had been able to remember a time in the past couple of years that anyone had. No wonder the children were in such terrible condition.
As she tried to consider the needs of the cottiers, Reese couldn’t shake the image of Jem’s face. She knew what he looked like when he was hurt, and she had hurt him. Even now she wanted to go back and make it go away, say everything was okay. But it wasn’t okay.
Ellen, at some point soon, was going to invite Jem to come to Kellworth as a guest. What should Reese do? Continue trying to avoid him while they were both under the same roof? Or confront him with what she’d overheard and accuse him of toying with her? That would make for interesting after-dinner entertainment.
She needed a plan of action for his inevitable visit. If she hadn’t found the cottiers, she might have returned to Nellie’s when Jem did come, but Reese felt a commitment to the tenants. She had started something, and she meant to do the best she could for them. What they did once she left was up to them, but they would have the best tools to improve their lives that she could give them.
The other nagging worry was the Earl and his questionable guests. Reese didn’t plan to be around them much, but she knew she would have to interact with them once in a while. Would they mock her since her manners weren’t that of a gently-bred lady like Ellen? Reese didn’t want it to bother her, but she knew it would. She wasn’t like Jem, who could fit in comfortably with any group.
“My brother and his guests are late.” Ellen hurried to the wagon. “You have time to change before they arrive. But how are the children?”
