It makes me feel sick. My parents would be so angry with me. So disappointed.
We’re lucky to get a room because lots of other people stuck on the interstate have the same idea that we did. The guy at the front desk is frazzled and tells us there’s only a couple of rooms left. Shane ushers me inside one with an overnight bag. He gets out an old phone book, makes some phone calls, and finally gets a hold of the Denny’s. I’m surprised there’s still someone there to answer the phone. I can sort of hear the lady through the receiver talking to Shane. I hear her mention something about a safe. I grab the phone from Shane’s hands.
“Don’t put him in a safe,” I panic into the phone. “Please don’t lock my brother’s ashes up somewhere dark.”
“Ethan,” Shane whispers, trying to take the phone back.
“Oh,” the older woman’s voice comes over the line. “I’m—I’m sorry, I—”
“Isn’t there anywhere else you can put them? Like by a window?”
“Yes, yes, there just happens to be a window in the office. I can put the urn on the sill. Is that all right with you?” Her voice is gentle and patient, like a grandmother. A flood of relief washes over me.
“Or,” she says, “if you’d prefer, I can take them home with me.”
I don’t know what to say for a moment.
“I’ve got a big window,” she says gently. “A bay window, where I keep all my ferns. Would that be better for you?”
I conjure up an image in my mind of a warm house with crocheted afghans over chairs and a teapot boiling. It’s way better than a cold, dark restaurant would be.
“Okay, yeah,” I agree. “Just please don’t lock him up somewhere dark.”
“I won’t. I promise you. I was just getting ready to leave, and I don’t live far, so your brother will be in good hands.”
This lady is a complete stranger to me, has absolutely no reason at all to help me, but somehow I believe her. “Okay. Thank you.”
Her voice is solemn. “I’m very sorry for your loss, sweetie.”
My throat gets tight, and my vision blurs with tears.
“When my nephew passed, we took his ashes to the Grand Canyon. Don’t know how I’d feel if some stranger had them.”
“I didn’t mean to leave him.” Tears pour down my face.
“Oh, I know, sweetie. It’s all right.” She pauses. “They’ll be safe with me. I’m Juanita. When you make it back, I’ll be here. I’ll keep him safe until then. Okay?”
“Thank you.” My voice is hoarse. I feel Shane’s hand on my shoulder.
“You want my address and phone number? Just in case?”
“Sure.” I scramble around for a pad of paper and a pen and take down the details.
“All right,” she says. “I need to get going now. I’ll see you soon, Ethan.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
She hangs up.
I put my face in my hands. Everett wasn’t afraid of much, but he couldn’t stand the dark. He kept a night-light in his room all the way up until he went to college, and he’d keep the TV on during sleepovers. It wasn’t something he ever commented on. He never outright admitted he was afraid. But I guess it’s one of those things that only a brother can know.
Shane’s arm slips around me. “She’s a nice lady, huh?”
I think I’m going to lose it if I haven’t already lost it. I can’t believe this is happening. This has to be a nightmare. The entire last month has to be some kind of nightmare. I feel like I might have another panic attack.
“Remember Ev loved unexpected stuff like this,” Shane says softly.
I don’t want him close to me or his arm around me, but it is comforting. I hate that it is.
