“Isn’t that the same thing as me masturbating?”
“Not if you’re doing it to my voice and only my voice. That way, you know when to stop, and it’ll set up a system for you. The hardest part about recovering from sex addiction—for you, I think—is going to be establishing limits, right?”
It sounds like a really good idea, and I’m kind of surprised he came up with this on his own. “Yeah, how do you know so much about it?”
“I’ve been talking to some counselors who know a lot about addictions, some have worked with sex addicts before. They’ve been giving me some advice.”
I smile. “So can we have phone sex now?”
“No.”
“What? But you just said?—”
“You have to earn it.”
Huh… “That’s kind of mean.”
“I never said I would be nice. I’m done enabling you, which means we’re not going to have sex whenever you want it. You’ll have to find the strength to hold out until the time is right.”
“And you get to choose when the time is right. How is that fair?”
“I’m not the sex addict.”
Touché. “Jeez. I thought sober Lo would be nicer.”
“I’m nice when it counts,” he says. “You love me anyway.”
“I do,” I agree. “But if you wait another month before we have phone sex, I might hate you.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Ryke knocks on the door frame, and I jump at his sudden presence. I forgot he was even still here. “You done? You’re killing my battery charge.”
He hates that I’m talking to Lo, but I actually feel a thousand times better. Dr. Banning must have known that he’d be the one to say the right things and in the right way to make me believe the words. He’s given me hope again. That I’ll kick this addiction. And I won’t have to be alone when I do it.
“Lo, your brother wants his phone back,” I tell him.
“Half-brother.”
I smile and climb out of the bathtub.
I needed this.
“I’ll call you later. I love you,” he tells me.
“Love you too.” I hand Ryke the phone with an added glare.
He touches his chest. “Hey, I called him for you.” He snatches the phone. “You shouldn’t be scowling at me. You should actually kiss my toes.”
“With this,” I say, pushing past him into the room. My comforter lies in a ball at the base of my bed. I tug the tangled blanket out and wrap up in it, hopping on the mattress. I close my eyes but can’t seem to wipe the silly grin off my face.
No more self-love, sure. I’ll probably be in a world of pain tomorrow, but for right now, I feel like I’m in the clouds.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I almost peed my pants.Ziplining should be banned from all civilized cultures. What I thought was a mild fear of heights intensified to the millionth degree as I propelled across a rainforest. Never again.
I almost had a heart attack as well. Only it spurned from watching my little sister gliding on the line completely upside down. All her friends kept yelling at me for screaming atheras she zipped headfirst over the hundred foot drop. Am I really the insane one in this scenario?
