“Most guys would go for it,” I defend myself. “They’re cute girls and men usually think with their downstairs brain. I’m just telling your cock in case it has other plans.”
“Leave my cock alone,” he snaps. “And while you’re at it, leave your sexist attitude on the shore.”
Maybe I did generalize the entire male population as being horny, but I’m a little edged. The last time I was on a boat, I almost ruined my friendship with Lo and then I ended up forming a real relationship instead.
I think boats are my enemy. They make me kind of nuts.
I open my mouth about to tell him this, but Ryke cuts me off, “Get a grip, Calloway.”
He’s right. I take a deep breath and prepare for the worst. I can do this. It’s only a week.
I internally laugh. Yeah. Right.
CHAPTER TEN
While the girlsare given a brief tour of the yacht by the chief steward, Ryke and I find the lounge area with a shady overhang. I take a seat on the couch while a server brings us fresh orange juice. As part of the itinerary, my mother told the servers not to carry any alcohol onboard. Last thing she’d want is for one of the girls to fall over the rails and drown in a drunken haze.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Lo?” I finally ask. “You’ve been in contact with him. He said you’ve actually seen him.” The hidden truth doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. Ryke is stable. Lo needs him. I can understand that.
Ryke hikes his feet on the coffee table while I tuck mine under my legs on the outdoor couch, holding a pillow on my lap.
“I didn’t want to tell you because you would have started badgering me with questions the same way Lo does about you. The whole point of being separated is so you can focus on yourselves. If you’re constantly worrying about each other, then that’s not going to happen.”
All this time, I thought Ryke was one-hundred percent right. But Dr. Banning said that the solution for me isn’t complete abstinence but rather a focus on intimacy. And being intimate with my partner actually requiresmy partner.By the prolonged distance, I can tell she fears I’ll revert to porn, masturbation, or worse, other men, to fill the empty space. I won’t. She said I have willpower, and I’m trying to exert it to the fullest degree while he’s gone. And if he doesn’t want to come back to me, well…I’m also trying not to think about that.
I stir a cherry in my juice. “You don’t trust me, do you? That’s why you’re here.”
Ryke stretches his arms on the back of the couch, his muscles sharpening more than before. He looks like he ownsthe damn yacht. How do I get that type of confidence? I wish it could rub off on me. On second thought…maybe not. That would mean I’d have to get physically closer to him.
“Honestly, I’m worried about you. I’m hoping that if you have some sort of panic attack that I’ll be here.”
“Because you promised Lo that you’d look after me while he’s gone,” I say with a nod. “I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from having a better winter break. What would you be doing anyway?”
“I got an invite to go snowboarding in Aspen with some friends, but I already turned it down before Rose called me.”
I frown. “Why?”
“I was planning on rock climbing, and my friends don’t climb, so…” He shrugs like it’s no big deal.
I’m still stuck on the ‘rock climbing’ bit. “You rock climb?”
“Since I was six. I loved everything about it, and I spent hours at indoor climbing gyms. I remember I’d beg my mom to let me gobeforeschool even though I spent all day there the minute the bell rang to release class. My mother hates it, so she put me in track to see if I’d stop, but I didn’t. I just found two things that I love instead of one. She wasecstaticwhen I told her I changed my plans this week.”
“Do you climb actual mountains?” I squint, trying to picture him harnessed and dangling from a slab of rock.
“Yes, Lily, I climbmountains.” He shakes his head like that’s such an inane question.
“What? You could have spent your whole days in the gym.”
“I would have been bored,” he says. “I climbed so much that I kept pushing myself for something new and challenging. That’s what my trip was supposed to be about. I was going to free-solo climb Half Dome at Yosemite. I’ve free-soloed El Capitan in the same National Park a couple times before, but never Half Dome.”
I have no idea what those mountains are or what they look like, but if he’s been climbing since he wassixand for so many hours, he must be pretty good.
“My mother has been freaking out about it for the past month, but the weather turned out to be bad in California anyway. I would have had to reschedule, even if I didn’t come here.”
If I had a son, I would be freaking out too. “What’s free-solo climbing?” I mean, obviously,soloentails being alone, which sounds dangerous enough. If I had the guts to shimmy up a mountain, I’d want someone there to catch me if I fell.
“No ropes,” he tells me. “Just me and the mountain and some chalk.”
