He doesn’t back away. Just shakes his head in slight distress. “Why not?”
“You’re too big.”And I think I want it.
He breaks into a smile, but it quickly disappears when he realizes what this means. “So you’re going to…” he trails off, not able to say the words.
“I’m going to…not fuck any linebackers or burly guys. And I have pepper spray, and like I said—I can take care of myself as long as the guy doesn’t get too aggressive.”Or isn’t Loren Hale.
“You didn’t say that.”
“I’m saying it now.” He’s about to move away and I quickly blurt out, “Can you put them in me?” No. No. No. I did not…
His hand still lingers on my pussy, cupping it. I don’t look at his eyes but I can feel him staring at me with amusement.
“You have rules,” he reminds me. “I can’t make you come, remember?” Right. I initiated that rule after Lo and I went a little too far one day. We didn’t have sex, but I climaxed and it was too much. Even if we were in a fake relationship. But we still fool around. He still touches me. I still touch him. And right now, I’m so eager that I just want to feel him inside of me. Somehow.
“Make up your mind, Lil,” he says softly.
I know he’ll do it if I ask. He’d do anything for me, but I don’t know if it’s fair to him.
“I’ll just…get something else.” Like a toy.
“You sure?”
I give him a weak nod and he finally pulls away from me. Even in the warm water, I feel kind of cold by the absence of a body.
By the absence of him.
CHAPTER FOUR
I slideinto the limo where Poppy, Rose and Daisy sit on the leather seats, my two older sisters filling glasses of champagne. We each wear a cocktail dress, and the different styles reflect our personalities a little too well. Poppy wears a bohemian-maroon silk dress with draping sleeves and a plunging V-neck, a brown belt tight around her waist. Rose sports a tailored, dark-blue beauty, the neckline straight at her collarbone and a simple diamond necklace against her breast. She looks ready for a political commencement speech, not the grand reveal of Fizzle’s brand new soda.
And then my youngest sister wears a green gown, the back nothing but strings crisscrossed in a wild array of patterns. I, on the other hand, rushed out of my parents’ house in a strapless, black plain number. Nothing special about it. Not too flashy. Not exceptionally cute. But it’s comfortableandmakes my boobs look a little bigger.
“Hi,” I say, running my fingers through my brown hair that reaches my shoulders. Poppy tries to pass me a glass, and I shake my head, lightly pushing her hand away. “I’m not drinking.” I tried to get out of this event at least twenty times in the past week, but my mother wouldn’t hear of it. I’d rather not find a reason to ditch my sisters and dance with an eager guy.
“I’ll take it,” Daisy says with a coy smile. She wags her eyebrows.
“No,” the three of us tell her in unison. Even though I withheld the knowledge about the New Year’s debacle from our parents, I had to spill to Rose and Poppy. I expected Daisy to rampage and hate me afterwards for sharing the details of the night, but she acted mature about it. In retrospect, I think keeping the birth control secret has nullified blabbing about being slipped GHB.
“You shouldn’t want to drink ever again after what happened,” Rose tells her.
“Why? Are you going to drug me, Rose?” She gasps, mocking. “My very own sister. The betrayal. The scandal!”
Rose gives her a sharp glare. “I wish you’d be serious about what happened.”
Daisy sighs and slouches, crossing her arms. “I’m never going to drink hunch punch at a party again. Lesson learned.”
“Thank you.” Rose puts the rim of her glass to her red lips.
“You’re so much like Mom, it’s scary.”
Shit.Rose’s solidifies to stone. I see hurt coursing through her, even if no one else can. I don’t think Daisy realizes how much Rose is trying to avoid being like our mother. She fears that path more than any of us.
“So…” I say to break the tension. “…this is fun.”Way to spark a conversation, Lily.
The car bumps along the road towards the Ritz where the event will take place. Fizzle hasn’t created a new soda in five years, so the unveiling is a big deal. My father has even kept the new flavor pretty hush-hush from the media andus.It could be Dragon Fruit Fizz for all I know—which sounds incredibly disgusting.
I make a face.
