“He cares about you.”
“Well he shouldn’t.” Lo orders another drink as he pops a French fry in his mouth.
“Maybe we should leave.”
“No. This place has good liquor and food.”
I wait for the sexy smile or maybe a flirtatious joke but he’s consumed with what’s in front of him. And I just sit off to the side. Even if I take off my shirt and fling off my bra, he’ll keep that glass in his hand. He’ll drink until everything melts away. So I keep my clothes on. The only tactic I have in my arsenal is completely worthless.
“Ryke carried you home,” I let out the truth. “At the Halloween party, you passed out and he had to carry you up to our apartment.”
His face twists in hundreds of emotions, and he settles on something blank and foreign.
“Do you really want him to carry you home again?”
“I’m not drunk,” Lo refutes, finally looking at me. His eyes ice over. “Not by a long shot. I’m even too sober for this conversation.”
I feel rooted to this bar stool. Like if I slink away it will implode. “You’re scaring me,” I murmur.
His gaze softens a fraction. “I’m fine, Lily. Honestly.” He keeps his hands to his liquor and fries, not touching me in comfort. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready to leave, and it’ll be before I pass out.”
My chest clenches. “I’m going to go dance with Connor.”
Lo nods and doesn’t try to stop me as I leave the stool.
I find Connor and Ryke lingering by a high-table near the dance floor. “And?” Ryke asks instantly.
“He says he’s not drunk.”
Ryke gives me a disgusted look. “Yeah? No shit, Lily. He’s got a problem! He’s going to fucking tell you he’s sober.”
“What makes you an expert?” I shout back. “So you quit drinking, that doesn’t mean you know how to fix Lo!”
“You’re right,” Ryke says. “This is beyond me. He needs professional help.”
Tears gather. “Stop.” I want Lo to be helped. I do, but I can’t imagine a world where he’s torn from my life. What will become of me?
“Anyone with a heart would care, Lily,” Ryke says. “So the better question is why don’t you?”
The punch to my stomach knocks me back. It hurts too much to breathe, and the hardest part is trying to defend myself tome. I do care. I’ve kept Lo from sitting behind a wheel. I’ve made sure he returns home in one piece. I’ve protected him. From everyone but himself.
I glance at Connor as I try to wrack my brain for the right words, but for the first time he’s become silent. Avoiding my gaze by peeling back the label to his beer bottle. He agrees with Ryke?
I let out a short laugh that borders on a choke. “I guess I’m just a terrible girlfriend.” And I believe it. In more ways than one.
I push through the sea of bodies, not having the heart or stomach to watch Ryke and Connor’s reactions. My hand shakes like a junkie needing a fix and my head spins from all the lights. I stumble over plastic cups and brush against someone on my way to the bathroom.
The stalls line up in a single row, doors ajar and empty. I lean over a sink, writing scrawled in permanent marker all over the basin.Wash up. Tina was here! Use Soap, you dirty wench! Blow me.
The door creaks and I glance over. A nameless guy with a face like a wolf, scruffy chin and dark eyes, saunters in. Is he the one I accidentally brushed up against? I don’t break his gaze, and he takes the invitation.
His hands linger on my hips questioningly, and I brace the porcelain basin in response. Rough kisses press into my neck and for a moment it feels better. It feels like it could be okay again. When my jeans lower and the cold air prickles my skin—I jolt awake.
“No.”I will not cheat on Loren Hale. No matter if anyone tells me how bad of person I am.
He doesn’t hear me or doesn’t take the hint. Hands grab my ass, only a thin layer of fabric between him and me and scoring. Fuck.
“No,” I say louder, employing the one word I’ve always avoided.
