“I don’t believe you,” I tell her.
Her face pales. “No, really Lo, I’m fine.”
My eyes fall to her legs, her thighs pressed tightly together. “So if we’re not having sex anymore, what are you going to go do?”
She shrugs, her shoulders tense and locked. She’s so fucking aroused.Just admit it, Lily. “Maybe…take a shower.”
“And masturbate?”
Her eyes widen. “No-no,” she stammers. “No, just shower.”
I lean forward and finger the button on her jeans.
“What…what are you doing?” she asks. Her chest collapses with a heady breath, something that has my need building.
“I’m checking.”
“For what?” she asks in a small voice.
I unzip her, and I watch her eyes plant on my hand as it descends down her pants and underneath her panties. She grabs my wrist as I slip my fingers inside of her. And she contracts around them, wet and eager and so ready.
“You’re not aroused?” I ask again.
Her head tilts back, her eyes closed, her hand gripping my wrist so I don’t move. “No,” she breathes.
“You’re a little liar.”
“I’m not.” She gasps as I push deeper, in and out. “Lo,” she cries. Her back begins to arch, trying to drive my fingers further inside.
We need to move this upstairs. I disentangle from her tight clutch and slip my fingers out. “Go upstairs,” I tell her. “Take off all your clothes, lie still on the bed, and I’ll make you feel better.”
She nods wildly, wanting nothing more than for me to take her mind off of what just happened. She opens the door and then hesitates. “Are you not coming with me?”
“I’ll be there in a second.”
“Lo—”
“I just need a minute.”
She glances at the raw skin on my knuckles, and then she nods again and heads into the house. When the door closes behind her, I grab my phone and dial a number.
The line clicks after the third ring. “Hey. How was the first day on the job?”
I can’t speak. I shouldn’t have called him. I’m about to hang up.
“Lo?” Ryke’s voice turns serious. “Hey, talk to me.”
I let out a breath. “Tell me why I shouldn’t.” I pinch my eyes. I want this to end. This torment. These feelings. I wantto help Lily without needing something to drown my own thoughts.
“Because one drink isn’t worth what you’ll feel in the morning.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“You’ll puke,” he reminds me. That’s right, I’m on Antabuse. One sip of alcohol and I’ll be sick.
I pause, wondering if I still could test it out. Maybe I could. I grimace. Maybe I couldn’t.
“Because you love Lily more thanthat.”
