“I forgot, you’re made of steel. The bionic, unfeeling woman. Connor must love cuddling with your nuts and bolts.” I slip back to my seat.
She slams the car door, not even wasting another glare on me. She has yet to go for the worst look—the “I’m going to castrate you” one. I think she must be saving it for Connor. I am so glad I’m not him.
“What’d he do?” I ask. “Misspell your favorite word? Beat you in a game of Scrabble?”
She doesn’t say anything. She just retypes the code and puts the car in gear as the gate groans open. When the car rolls along the driveway towards the colonial house, it hits me.
“You can’t be serious,” I say. “You’re still angry at him because he gave me some beer months ago, when I wasn’t even planning on being sober?” I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s relationship. It’s why Lily and I closed off to people—so no one else had to get hurt because of our mistakes.
She pulls into the garage and turns off the ignition. “You wouldn’t understand.” She’s about to climb out of the car, but I lean over her and flick the lock, trapping her in the confines of the Escalade.
Connor told me not to defend him. Right after they had that fight in our living room, he took me aside and said to stay out of it. But I can’t let him be attacked for this. He was just being a friend in a time when I wouldn’t let anyone in my life.
“Give the guy a break,” I say. “He bends over backwards for you.”
Rose stares at me for a long moment, biting her gums, it seems. And then she tries to unlock the car again, but I beat her to the button, flicking it faster than she does.
“Loren,” she warns.
“Just say it,” I retort. “Say what you mean.” She doesn’t think I can handle it, but I can.
“You don’t understand,” she snaps. “Connor knew you were addicted, and he handed you beer. And you think that’s okay. You’re sitting there, telling me that it’s okay when it’s not. Do you see how wrong that is?”
“Rose, he didn’t do anything wrong.” I grimace as soon as I hear myself. And I understand immediately why Connor told me not to say a word in his defense. Because I am making a great case why he shouldn’t have given me an ounce of liquor. I’m the alcoholic—the one who believed I could live a life drinking every minute of every fucking day. Vouching for Connor makes him look guilty. And maybe he is to some extent.
“What he did was awful,” she says, “and I don’t care if it was just a means to be your friend.”
I run a shaky hand through my hair, and when I glance back at her, she pales a little. “No, I’m fine,” I say. “Honestly, I’m not going to go race to a liquor store after this conversation, okay?”
She nods, stiff and unmoving.
“Rose,” I say. “I’m not trying to defend the guy, but…” This is hard for me to say. I even clear my throat, the words lodging for a second. “…I don’t know if I would be right here if he didn’t find a way to enter my life and Lily’s. He was the first nonjudgmental person that I could withstand to be around. He never looked at me like I was fucked up, even if he was probably thinking it. I liked having him as a friend. I still do.”
I hand her the vase, and she no longer looks willing to chuck it at the wall.
“He’s human,” I remind her. “He’s not perfect. No one is.”
Her lips twitch. “Wise words from Loren Hale. You must have plagiarized a fortune cookie.”
I let out a weak laugh, actually smiling at that one. She’s good.
CHAPTER NINE
LOREN HALE
I unlock the car.From the back garage door, we enter the house, walking into the granite kitchen.
Lily must have heard the garage because she breezes through the archway with a zipped backpack. She sets it on a chair and waits patiently for me to approach her by the bar stool. She’s doing well, and then I notice the way she fiddles with her fingers, the way she presses her thighs tightly together.
I slide my arms around her shoulders. She rests her cheek to my chest, but her body doesn’t sag in relief. No, it tightens in eagerness. Lily doesn’t do hugs. She fucks until she passes out.
And I so badly want to fix her, but I can only help. The real mending—that has to be her job, her fight, her battle. I can’t win this one for her—just like she can’t defeat my demons.
Shoes tap along the hardwood, and I expect to see Connor Cobalt cresting the archway. Instead, I’m met with Sebastian Ross.
He’s still here after tutoring Lil?
I internally groan.
