‘He’s told me that he and Carnforth will enlist. They need men who can be officers. He’s heard from the university. They are writing to all their students to encourage them to sign up. They are both to go to a training camp in Surrey very soon,’ Clara explained. ‘They seem quite excited about it, but going to war is no small thing, is it, Kate? I just hope they know what they’re doing. I will be worried for them, as you no doubt are for your brother too?’
Kate nodded but could say nothing. There was a hollow feeling inside her as if someone had pulled all the strength and resilience out of her. She needed to get home and see her family. She needed to be close to them again. Everything was slipping away and she had no one to hold on to.
Chapter Nineteen
October 1914
Kate nearly dropped the milk pan she was warming, when the knocking started. She went to the bolted door and stood, listening. There were voices and sniggers from the other side. Whoever was out there was making a lot of noise and threatened to wake the whole household. When the banging got louder and the voices more insistent, she waited for a pause in the din.
‘Who’s there? Stop your banging, you’re making enough noise to wake the dead,’ Kate said, a note of stern irritation in her voice.
‘Open the door, Kate,’ came the reply.
Kate’s heart missed a beat as she recognized Philip’s voice.
‘Is that you, Master Philip?’ she asked.
‘Indeed, it is,’ came the reply. ‘Open up, Kate, I’m locked out.’
Kate drew back the bolt and stepped back as Philip tumbled through the door. She could see that he was intoxicated. If she’d been in any doubt, the strong smell of whisky confirmed it.
Kate was caught off balance by his presence in the kitchen and didn’t know quite what to say to him. She realized that his present state meant he couldn’t possibly have shown himself at the front door and she couldn’t help but smile to herself that this had given her the opportunity to see him at last.
‘You need a cup of tea and I will make one in just a moment,’ Kate said. ‘I need to take this to Miss Sophie. Now please keep quiet, everyone’s asleep.’
By the time Kate got back to the kitchen, Philip was slumped across the table with his head on his arms.
Kate bolted the door. ‘My goodness, Master Philip, where have you been? Whatever can you be thinking of, coming home in this state?’
‘In answer to your first question,’ Philip said, pronouncing each word carefully. ‘I’ve been drinking with Carnforth. He holds his drink better than me. He gave me a leg up so I could climb over the wall. And as to what I’m thinking, well, if a man’s going to go to war, then he’s entitled to a little drink, I believe.’ Philip pushed his chair back and tried to stand. ‘He needs to see a little of life, don’t you agree?’
Kate caught hold of his shoulders and tried to stop him from falling. Philip turned towards her and whispered, ‘Thank you, Kate. You’ve always been understanding . . . special . . . different. If things had been different for us, then I . . .’
‘You’re not making any sense, Master Philip,’ Kate said trying to hold him up.
‘Then actions must speak louder than words,’ Philip replied, pulling her to him.
The kiss was long and deep, not like the kiss with Archie. Kate’s reaction should’ve been to pull away, this was her employer’s son after all! But she liked it too much. She kissed him back. He kissed her neck and held her gently.
‘You’re so lovely, Kate,’ he whispered. ‘I’ve been wanting to do this for so long, to touch you, to hold you.’
Kate’s eyes shifted to the door. Would someone see them?
‘Don’t worry, Kate. We won’t be found. Please stay with me for a while. I don’t know when I’ll see you again.’
He took hold of her hand and led her quietly into the study, making sure that his shoes didn’t scrape across the floor. He pulled her down beside him on the chaise and placed his hands gently on her shoulders, leaning her back. She couldn’t stop the feeling that her body was in control and her body wanted him. His mouth was on her mouth and his hands were on her breasts.No one had told her about the tingling, the rush, the sensation of heat and longing. She was overwhelmed and didn’t want it to stop. He whispered tenderly to her. She was sinking under waves of pleasure and wanted what he wanted, felt what he felt.
He fumbled with her underclothes and she helped him. The darkness of the room closed in around them and she cried out, partly in pleasure and partly in pain.
‘I’m hurting you,’ he said. ‘I don’t want to hurt you, I just want . . .’
She put her finger over his lips and guided him inside her again.
‘I’ll be careful, Kate,’ he reassured her.
When it was over, they lay in each other’s arms. His head was on her chest and she kissed his forehead and ran her fingers through his hair. He was breathing deeply. She shifted a little under his weight and he stirred. He pulled himself away from her and stood up, buttoning his trousers. She straightened her clothes and, although she couldn’t see his face clearly, she sensed that he was looking at her.
‘We should go to bed,’ he finally said.
